Arcus Caelestis
by Insert Clever Potter Name Here
Summary: A crossover of two of my stories: Tonks is asked to attend a Death Eater meeting, with disastrous consequences./ Different telling of Deathly Hallows./ Non-Canon pairings, non-canon deaths. Rated M, warnings inside. Rewrite/merge of Raising The Rainbow and Ready Made Spy. Good guy Snape.
1. Chapter 1

**_I have hit a wall with all of my stories- except for A New Family_**

 ** _SO, I got the idea to combine my stories "Raising The Rainbow" and "A Ready Made Spy". Some parts will be identical to the other stories, but with changes)_**

 ** _It's really just that I'm using the ideas that Kingsley and Alastor raise Tonks, and she later goes to spy on a Death Eater meeting with disastrous consequences._**

 _ **A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ **Sirius is still alive as of this chapter.**_

 _ **I don't own HP, and I took inspiration from what Remus says in HBP: "Albus needed a spy, and here I was, ready-made."**_

 _ *******And since I don't own HP, I don't own the parts of DH Chapter 1 you will see in this chapter*******_

* * *

"It's a few hours, Remus." She whispered, pressing her wedding ring into his hand. "You won't even miss me."

"Dora, if they figure it out-"

"If I don't trip, I should be fine." She said, placing a hand on either side of his face, pressing a kiss to his lips. "I have to go, so they don't suspect."

"And you remember everything Yaxley told you?" Alastor asked. "We could do Polyjuice-"

"Yes." Tonks said, turning away from Remus. "And you're sure he wasn't lying?"

"He couldn't." Kingsley said. "Not with Veritaserum."

She nodded.

"If you have to kill to get away, do it. Don't hesitate." Alastor said.

"I believe that's the advice you gave me when I went on my very first date." She said. Kingsley laughed quietly while Alastor shook his head. "I'll stay safe. After all, I'm an Auror, and I was trained by the best."

She walked towards the kitchen of the small home, standing in front of Yaxley, who was bound to a kitchen chair. It had been easy, with so many men among the Order, to find robes that would be passable for Death Eater robes. Under the robes, she wore a button up shirt and jeans of Kingsley's, simply so she'd be able to remove the robe later if she needed to escape on foot- it'd be far easier moving around in Muggle clothes.

She focused on all of his features, feeling herself become taller- because she knew he was taller than her. She was always uncomfortable when she had to full body morph into someone else, and it was even more uncomfortable when she had to morph her body to match a man's.

Sirius was in the kitchen with Arthur, the two of them keeping watch on Yaxley. After she left, Sirius and Remus would be patrolling a few miles from Malfoy Manor, where she would meet them- at the latest- at dawn.

"His wand." Sirius said, holding out Yaxley's wand. In turn, she handed her own to Sirius, who pocketed it without a word.

"Is it accurate?" She asked, after focusing on keeping her voice as she knew Yaxley's to be.

He nodded. "It's definitely passable. If You-Know-Who uses Legilimency, however..."

"Then I suppose I've died for a good cause." She said.

"I'd give you a hug, but you're revolting right now." Sirius said.

"Good to know. I'll be back at the meeting point by dawn, if I'm not-"

"You will be." Sirius said, his voice tense. "Good luck."

She gave him a nod, leaving the house, walking quickly to the Apparition point. She reappeared in the lane, just as another figured appeared. They had both drawn their wands, pointing their wands at each other's chest.

For a moment she wondered if she should kill Snape and flee- after all, he had betrayed the Order- but then Snape put his wand away, and she did the same. She couldn't arouse suspicion, she had a task to do.

"News?" She asked in Yaxley's deep tone as they walked briskly.

"The best." Snape replied curtly.

"Thought I might be late." She said. ""It was a little trickier than I expected. But I hope he will be satisfied. You sound confident that your reception will be good?"

Snape nodded, but said nothing. They continued walking briskly, passing the manicured hedges and approaching the gates, both raising their left arms momentarily.

 _Oh, Merlin, I hope this isn't where I'm outed._

She was surprised when she wasn't, she had been able to pass the gates as if she was truly Yaxley. There was a rustle to their right, and she drew her wand immediately, pointing it above Snape's head as a white peacock strutted along the top of the hedge.

"He always did himself well, Lucius." She scoffed. " _Peacocks_..." She gave a deep snort, stowing her wand away.

They continued and the door swung open as they approached, although no one had visibly opened it. She walked a step behind Snape, because she had no idea where they were going, but she had to make it look as though she weren't following him.

They approached large wooden doors, and for a short moment, neither moved. And then Severus Snape turned the bronze doorknob, and Nymphadora Tonks entered her first Death Eater meeting.

"Yaxley, Snape, you are very nearly late."

The drawing room was full of silent people sitting at a large table, most of its furniture pushed to the edges of the room. The only light came from a roaring fire in a handsome marble mantelpiece surmounted by a gilded mirror. Snape and Tonks lingered for a moment on the threshold. As her eyes grew accustomed to the lack of light, Tonks' eyes were drawn to a strange sight.

Above the table, an apparently unconscious human was dangling, reflected in the mirror-like surface of the table below. None of the people seated underneath this singular sight were looking at it except for a pale young man sitting almost directly below it, who Tonks recognised as Draco Malfoy, who kept glancing upwards at the form every few moments.

Voldemort was sitting directly in front of the fire and, at first, it was difficult to see him properly. As they stepped forward together, his face shone through the gloom, hairless, snakelike, with slits for nostrils and gleaming red eyes whose pupils were vertical. She couldn't help but feel a surge of fear at the sight of him, or at the idea of being in the same room.

"Severus, here." He said, indicating the seat on his immediate right. "Yaxley- beside Dolohov."

They took their seats, most of the eyes in the room following Snape. _Good_ , she thought to herself. The less attention she got, the better.

Voldemort spoke to Snape first. "So?"

"My Lord, the Order of the Phoenix intends to move Harry Potter from his current place of safety on Saturday next, at nightfall."

Tonks managed to hide her surprise- how did he know? Luckily, her glance at Snape was not the only movement.

"Saturday... at nightfall." Voldemort repeated, looking at Snape intently. Tonks noticed a few others looked away from the duo, and almost felt the need to do the same. "Good, very good. And this information..."

"Comes from the source we discussed." Snape said.

 _What source?_ Tonks wondered, and then remember what Yaxley had admitted earlier. Someone tonight would be lying to Voldemort, and unfortunately, it was her.

"My Lord." She said in Yaxley's deep voice. "I have heard differently."

Voldemort's gaze shifted to her, and she leaned forward slightly. "Dawlish, the Auror, let slip that Potter will not be moved until the thirtieth, the night before the boy turns seventeen."

Snape was smiling slightly. "My source told me that there are plans to lay a false trail; this must be it. No doubt a Confundus Charm has been placed upon Dawlish. It would not be the first time; he is known to be susceptible."

 _Bastard._

"I assure you, My Lord, Dawlish seemed quite certain." She continued.

"If he has been Confunded, naturally he is certain." said Snape. "I assure you, Yaxley, the Auror Office will play no further part in the protection of Harry Potter. The Order believes that we have infiltrated the Ministry."

That much was true, the Order was certain the Death Eaters had infiltrated- but if Snape said they merely _believed_ , perhaps it wasn't true at all.

"The Order's got one thing right, then, eh?" A small man a few seats away said with a wheezy giggle.

"My Lord, Dawlish has said an entire party of Aurors will be used to transfer the boy." She said, and it wasn't _untrue_ \- there were Aurors among the Order.

Voldemort held up a hand and she fell silent, watching as he turned back to Snape. "Where are they going to hide the boy next?"

"At the home of someone in the Order." Snape said. "The place, according to the source, has been given every protection that the Order and Ministry together could provide. I think that there is little chance of taking him once he is there, my Lord, unless, of course, the Ministry has fallen before next Saturday, which might give us the opportunity to discover and undo enough of the enchantments to break through the rest."

"Well, Yaxley, _will_ the Ministry have fallen by next Saturday?" Voldemort asked, once again turning to her.

"My Lord, I have good news on that score. I have—with difficulty, and after great effort—succeeded in placing an Imperius Curse upon Pius Thicknesse." She said, remembering what else Yaxley had said earlier. Many at the table looked impressed, and she felt Dolohov clap her in the back.

"It is a start." said Voldemort. "But Thicknesse is only one man. Scrimgeour must be surrounded by our people before I act. One failed attempt on the Minister's life will set me back a long way."

"Yes—my Lord, that is true—but you know, as Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Thicknesse has regular contact not only with the Minister himself, but also with the Heads of all the other Ministry departments. It will, I think, be easy now that we have such a high-ranking official under our control, to subjugate the others, and then they can all work together to bring Scrimgeour down." She said.

"As long as our friend Thicknesse is not discovered before he has converted the rest." said Voldemort. "At any rate, it remains unlikely that the Ministry will be mine before next Saturday. If we cannot touch the boy at his destination, then it must be done while he travels."

"We are at an advantage there, my Lord." She continued, remembering more of what Yaxley had said. "We now have several people planted within the Department of Magical Transport. If Potter Apparates or uses the Floo Network, we shall know immediately."

"He will not do either." Snape said, and Tonks felt an overwhelming sense of anger. "The Order is eschewing any form of transport that is controlled or regulated by the Ministry; they mistrust everything to do with the place."

 _How does Snape know all of this?_ She wondered. _Who was betraying them?_

"All the better." Voldemort said. "He will have to move in the open. Easier to take, by far."

Tonks stared at the table. If she went back and told the Order that the Death Eaters knew, would they be able to make a new plan in time?

"I shall attend to the boy in person. There have been too many mistakes where Harry Potter is concerned. Some of them have been my own. That Potter lives is due more to my errors than to his triumphs." Voldemort continued, his red eyes watching the slowly revolving form above the table.

She wasn't even sure he was talking to any of them, it almost felt like he was talking to himself instead. She watched him carefully, hoping the meeting could end soon, on the chance he became suspicious. She wanted to be long gone by the time they figured it out.

"I have been careless, and so have been thwarted by luck and chance, those wreckers of all but the best-laid plans. But I know better now. I understand those things that I did not understand before. I must be the one to kill Harry Potter, and I shall be."

There was a loud wailing, seemingly coming from beneath their feet and Tonks realised she was not the only Death Eater to look down on pure impulse.

"Wormtail, have I not spoken to you about keeping our prisoner quiet?" Voldemort asked, without lowering his eyes from the revolving form.

Tonks hadn't realised Wormtail was even there, until he spoke and she realised the chair she assumed to be empty had only looked that way because he was sitting so low.

"Yes, m-my Lord." He gasped, standing and rushing from the room.

Voldemort now lowered his eyes, seemingly surveying them. Many dropped their eyes, so when his eyes passed over her, she did not stand out when she did the same.

"As I was saying, I understand better now." He continued. "I understand better now. I shall need, for instance, to borrow a wand from one of you before I go to kill Potter."

She noticed a lot of the other Death Eaters seemed shocked, and she wondered for a brief moment if anyone would volunteer for such a task. After all, wouldn't it be a high honour to be the one who gave their wand to Lord Voldemort for him to kill Harry?

"No volunteers?" Voldemort asked, looking around. "Let's see… Lucius, I see no reason for you to have a wand anymore."

Tonks now wondered if she should thank Kingsley and Moody for sending her here- there was a certain pleasure to seeing Lucius in his current state. His skin was almost yellowish, appearing waxy in the candlelight. His eyes were sunken and shadowed, and his voice was hoarse when he spoke.

"My Lord?"

"Your wand, Lucius. I require your wand." Voldemort said.

"I..." Lucius began, glancing sideways at Narcissa, who stared straight ahead and did not move. A moment later, Lucius reached into his robes and withdrew his wand, passing it down to Voldemort, who took it and examined it carefully.

"What is it?" Voldemort asked, his red eyes focused on the wand in his hands.

"Elm, my Lord."

"And the core?"

"Dragon- dragon heartstring."

"Good." Voldemort said, drawing out his own wand, comparing the lengths. She saw, out of the corner of her eye, a very slight movement from Lucius, and Voldemort spoke again. "My wand, Lucius? Give you _my_ wand?"

Some of the table occupants snickered, and Voldemort continued speaking. "I have given you your liberty, Lucius, is that not enough for you? But I have noticed that you and your family seem less than happy of late… What is it about my presence in your home that displaces you, Lucius?" He asked.

"Nothing- nothing, my Lord!"

"Such _lies_ , Lucius..."

Voldemort's voice seemed to hiss on even after the cruel mouth had stopped moving. One or two of the wizards barely repressed a shudder as the hissing grew louder; something heavy could be heard sliding across the floor beneath the table, and Tonks knew exactly what was about to make an appearance. Sure enough, the snake appeared, slithering up Voldemort's chair, coming to a rest around his shoulders.

Voldemort stroked it with the tips of his fingers, seemingly mindlessly, his eyes never leaving Lucius' face.

"Why do the Malfoys look so unhappy with their lot? Is my return, my rise to power, not the very thing they professed to desire for so many years?"

"Of course, my Lord." Lucius said. His hand shook as he wiped sweat from his upper lip. "We did desire it—we do."

To Lucius' left, Narcissa made an odd, stiff nod, her eyes averted from Voldemort and the snake. To his right, Draco glanced quickly at Voldemort and then away again.

"My Lord." Bellatrix said, her voice thick with emotion. "It is an honor to have you here, in our family's house. There can be no higher pleasure."

"No higher pleasure. That means a great deal, Bellatrix, coming from you." Voldemort said, his head tilted slightly as he considered Bellatrix.

"My Lord knows I speak nothing but the truth!" Bellatrix said, leaning forward in a strange attempt at being closer to Voldemort.

"No higher pleasure... Even compared with the happy event that, I hear, has occurred in your family this week?"

Bellatrix blinked, clearly confused by Voldemort's words. "I do not know what you mean, my Lord."

"I'm talking about your niece, Bellatrix. And yours, Lucius and Narcissa. She has just married the werewolf, Remus Lupin. You must be so proud."

Tonks was startled- they knew. _The Death Eaters knew?_ Most of the table erupted into jeering laughter. Many leaned forward to exchange gleeful looks, a few thumped the table with their fists. The giant snake, disliking the disturbance, opened its mouth wide and hissed angrily, but the Death Eaters did not hear it, they were enjoying the embarrassment of the Malfoy family far too much. Bellatrix's face flushed blotchy and red, and she shouted above the noise.

"She is no niece of ours, my Lord!" She cried. "We—Narcissa and I—have not set eyes on the halfblood since our sister and the Mudblood were killed. This brat has nothing to do with either of us, nor any beast she marries!"

"What say you, Draco? Will you babysit the cubs?"

Draco looked horror stricken, as he looked towards his father for some kind of sign at what to do. His father made no move, but his mother gave a very small shake of her head and Draco's eyes returned to studying the table.

"Enough." Voldemort said, still stroking the angry snake. "Enough."

The laughter died at once. Even though it was startling to hear that the Death Eaters now knew she was married, she couldn't help but feel the urge to laugh at the fact Bellatrix was _so_ bothered by this news.

However, Voldemort's next words doused the feeling.

"Many of our oldest family trees become a little diseased over time." Voldemort said, and Bellatrix looked at him eagerly. "You must prune yours, must you not, to keep it healthy? Cut away those parts that threaten the health of the rest. You've already begun the task, you simply have to finish it."

Bellatrix grinned, her eyes swimming with tears. "Yes, my Lord! At the first chance!"

 _Oh bullocks,_ Tonks thought to herself. Now there was no chance that she going to make it out of here alive if they figured her out.

"You shall have it." Voldemort said. "And in your family, so in the world… we shall cut away the canker that infects us until only those of the true blood remain…"

 _Oh, good. If Bellatrix wasn't truly trying to kill me before, she'll definitely try now._

Voldemort had raised Lucius' wand, pointing it at the figure suspended above the table. With a tiny flick, the figure came to life, writhing and groaning against the bonds.

"I trust you recognise our guest, Severus?" Voldemort asked, and Tonks saw Snape's eyes look at the figure's face.

She looked as well, her heart skipping a bit, and the figure cried out. "Severus, help me!" Her voice cracked and trembled, and Tonks felt horrible.

"And you, Draco?" Voldemort asked, but Draco shook his head quickly without even looking at the figure.

"But you would not have taken her classes." Voldemort continued. "For those of you who do not know, we are joined here tonight by Charity Burbage who, until recently, taught at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

There were small noises of comprehension around the table. A broad, hunched woman with pointed teeth cackled. Tonks felt terrible. She knew Professor Burbage, she had taken her class under the insistence of both Kingsley and Alastor, because they were purebloods and wanted her to know more about Muggles.

"Yes… Professor Burbage taught the children of witches and wizards all about Muggles… how they are not so different from us…" Voldemort continued, and a Death Eater Tonks didn't recognise spat on the floor.

"Severus… please… please…" Charity Burbage pleaded.

"Silence," said Voldemort, with another twitch of Malfoy's wand, and Charity fell silent as if gagged. "Not content with corrupting and polluting the minds of Wizarding children, last week Professor Burbage wrote an impassioned defense of Mudbloods in the Daily Prophet. Wizards, she says, must accept these thieves of their knowledge and magic. The dwindling of the purebloods is, says Professor Burbage, a most desirable circumstance… She would have us all mate with Muggles… or, no doubt, werewolves…"

Nobody laughed this time, probably due to the tone Voldemort's voice had taken on.

He raised Lucius' wand. " _Avada Kedavra."_

Charity fell with a loud crash onto the table below, which creaked and trembled. Voldemort stopped stroking the snake. "Nagini, dinner." He said, and the snake slithered from his shoulders onto the table.

Death Eaters were standing now, clearly this had been the cue that the meeting ended. Tonks stood among the crowd, hoping to make the exit quickly- she had to relay the information to the Order.

"Yaxley, Severus, if you would join us in the library." Voldemort's clear voice said as he stood. "Lucius, Bellatrix, you and your family as well."

Voldemort swept from the room, the Malfoys and Bellatrix following. Tonks and Snape were the last to follow, and she debated fleeing the Manor.

Later on, she realised that she should have fled.


	2. Chapter 2

**_I have hit a wall with all of my stories- except for A New Family_**

 ** _SO, I got the idea to combine my stories "Raising The Rainbow" and "A Ready Made Spy". Some parts will be identical to the other stories, but with changes)_**

 ** _It's really just that I'm using the ideas that Kingsley and Alastor raise Tonks, and she later goes to spy on a Death Eater meeting with disastrous consequences._**

 _ **A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ **Sirius is still alive as of this chapter.**_

 _ **I don't own HP, and I took inspiration from what Remus says in HBP: "Albus needed a spy, and here I was, ready-made."**_

 _ *******And since I don't own HP, I don't own the parts of DH Chapter 1 you will see in this chapter*******_

 _ **Again, I'm utilising my headcanon that Andromeda and Ted were part of the first Order.**_

* * *

"I am curious, Yaxley, if you know which Aurors might take part in moving the boy." Voldemort said, standing in front of the library's fireplace, facing the flames.

"No, my Lord."

"Dawlish told you the plan, but gave no names?"

"No, he didn't, my Lord." She repeated, her heart pounding. _God, he must suspect._

"My Lord, might I inquire as to why you asked for my presence?" Snape asked, his black eyes watching Voldemort intently.

"We have a very unique advantage right now, Severus." Voldemort said. "Would you like to know what it is, Yaxley?"

She said nothing, her heart pounding.

"No?" Voldemort asked, turning to face her. "Perhaps you already know, _Nymphadora_."

Bellatrix's eyes gleamed, looking at Tonks intently. "My Lord, you suspect this is an impostor?" She asked.

"Suspect, Bellatrix? That implies I would not know." Voldemort said. "How very clever, I must say. To use a Metamorphmagus in such a way, to infiltrate us. You have no time limit, Nymphadora, isn't that correct? And the Order used Veritaserum to get Yaxley to tell you all of that information, is that also correct?"

She said nothing, but Bellatrix looked absolutely thrilled.

"I wonder, if there's a way to force a Metamorphmagus to drop a disguise?" Voldemort asked. "Tell me, Nymphadora. Is there?" When she didn't respond, he turned to Bellatrix. "Perhaps you can convince her, Bellatrix."

Bellatrix grinned, whipping her wand out and aiming it at Tonks. " _Crucio_!"

She fell with a scream and she knew, before she hit the ground, her morph dropped. Bellatrix laughed gleefully, releasing the curse. She stayed on the ground, gasping in pain.

"It is her! The Order sent her straight to us!" Bellatrix said. "Shall I kill her now, my Lord?"

Tonks waited for the spell, the flash of green, but it never came.

"No." Voldemort said. "I believe we can learn from her. Severus, your source is reliable, but Nymphadora might have details your source might not. Bellatrix, I'll leave this to you. If you need help from others, perhaps your husband."

"Of course, my Lord." Bellatrix said, stepping over to Tonks, grabbing her hair and pulling her to feet. "We'll enjoy this, won't we, Nymphie?"

Voldemort swept from the room, and the Malfoys followed a few seconds later, Draco casting one last glance towards the pair of women. Rodolphus stood off to the side of the room, and Bellatrix surveyed Tonks for a moment.

Bellatrix nodded at Rodolphus, who walked forward and grabbed Tonks' arms, and the two of them dragged her from the library. Tonks struggled, trying to free herself, but the two of them together dragged her down the hall, towards a new door, shoving her into the room.

Bellatrix waved her wand, and Tonks almost expected to be hit with a curse. Instead a chair slid over to them, and they forced her to sit, conjuring ropes that tied Tonks' hands behind the back of the chair.

"I want information." Bellatrix said, as Rodolphus stepped away.

"I might have information." Tonks responded, and Bellatrix slapped her sharply.

"Who is going to be involved in moving Potter?" Bellatrix demanded.

"A few people."

Another slap.

"Give me _names_." Bellatrix said. This time, she simply didn't respond, and Bellatrix raised her wand. " _Crucio!_ "

The pain tore through her and she screamed, writhing in the chair. Bellatrix released the curse quickly, leaving her breathless.

"I'm going to ask again." Bellatrix said.

"And I'm still not going to answer." Tonks spat. Bellatrix looked furious, pulling a knife from her robes and switching her wand to her other hand.

"Very well." Bellatrix said, dragging the knife down Tonks' arm. "I have no qualms about killing you."

"Like you killed your sister?"

"My sister deserved it, marrying a Mudblood, and producing _you_. My whore of a sister deserved a lot worse than death." Bellatrix sneered. "I suppose I can make sure her precious daughter pays for it." Bellatrix raised her wand again. " _Crucio_!"

She screamed as the pain tore through her all over again.

"Oh, if only my darling Andromeda could hear your screams!" Bellatrix cried gleefully, dropping the curse again. "Or perhaps your fathers, if they could! I don't regret you escaping now, it's only more fun this way."

Bellatrix stepped forward, pocketing her wand. "What information can you give us?" Bellatrix asked, holding the knife against her cheek as Tonks sat bound to a chair in a dark room.

"I can give you a lot of information, I just don't want to."

Bellatrix sliced the knife, and Tonks felt a stinging pain as it cut the skin on her cheek. "Perhaps I feed you to Greyback." Bellatrix said. "How would your werewolf enjoy that?"

"Killing me won't hide the shameful fact a family member of yours married a werewolf."

Bellatrix's face turned slightly red as she glared at Tonks. She grabbed a handful of Tonks' hair, pulling her head back, pressing the blade against Tonks' neck. "I should slit your throat and leave you on dear Alastor Moody's front porch." She hissed.

"Oh, but dear Auntie Bella, if you do that, what about the information you want?"

Bellatrix released her hair, walking back in front of her. She drew out her wand, pointing it at Tonks. " _Crucio_!"

Her body tensed up as she screamed, the pain burning through every bone, every muscle, every inch of her body. This time, Bellatrix held the curse for far longer.

When she finally dropped the spell, Tonks was breathless and trembling, sobbing involuntarily.

"Do you have information for me now?" Bellatrix asked.

Tonks took a few deep, shuddering breaths and then sat up straight. "I will tell you nothing." She said, glaring at Bellatrix.

Bellatrix stood completely straight, staring down at her. "Very well. Rodolphus? Perhaps you can convince her to speak."

Rodolphus finally walked forward, a wicked grin on his face. "I'd be happy to try, Bella."

Tonks felt her blood run cold as Rodolphus stepped in front of her and Bellatrix walked behind her, slicing through the ropes on her wrists, purposefully cutting Tonks' skin as she did so. Rodolphus grabbed her by her hair, pulling her up.

She immediately reacted, shoving Rodolphus as hard as she could. He tightened his grip on her hair, his fist connecting with her cheek as he threw up a knee at the same time, his knee connecting with her stomach. She gasped in pain, the hits leaving her breathless for a moment. He took the moment to shove her to the ground, aiming a kick to her ribs.

"I tend to enjoy the fight, but quite frankly, we have more important matters."

A while later, Tonks felt sick as she was left curled up on the floor, clutching her knees to her chest. They had left her alone when Rodolphus had finished his abuse of her, Bellatrix deciding they'd leave her to starve for a few days, perhaps she'd speak then.

She heard them reinforce the spells on the door. She reached slowly, grabbing her clothes, pulling them on just for some coverage, just to hide her body.

Her cheek was swollen and sore from where Rodolphus' fist had struck her when she had tried to fight him off. Everything hurt, but she wasn't sure where the residual pain from the Cruciatus ended and the pain from Rodolphus' assault began.

She looked around the dimly lit room she was in. It was very small, no furniture except for the chair, and even worse- no windows. Her only escape route would be the door, and that was protected by charms.

Was this really how she was going to die? She managed to escape Bellatrix years before, was it really only delaying Bellatrix's victory?

* * *

"She'll be back." Kingsley said, setting down a piece of parchment on the table. "Death Eater meetings can last hours."

"I'm not worried."

"Yes, you are." Kingsley said. "You're worried she'll be figured out."

"Aren't you?" Alastor asked.

"Of course, but she's strong. She can fight her way out."

"Out of a room with Voldemort and Death Eaters? No, if she's found out, we'll never know." Alastor said. "We never found Andromeda or Ted, I doubt Bellatrix will give us Dora. We shouldn't have sent her."

"We have to know what they know."

"We should have sent Dung."

"Dung would blow his cover in the first five minutes."

"Could've sent Lupin, then."

"Dora would have never allowed it."

Alastor sighed. "That girl is too bloody stubborn. She should have never joined the Order."

Kingsley shrugged. "She's been alright so far." He said. "I'm sure she'll be alright this time. After all, she survived alone for a few days before the Order found her. She can survive this."

* * *

 _ **It had been cold for the last few days, and because the Order hadn't heard from Ted or Andromeda for two days, they were heading out to the house. With threats against the small family from Bellatrix Lestrange, they had gone into hiding, fearing what Andromeda's family could do.**_

 _ **From the looks of the house, Ted and Andromeda had right to fear. The door had been blasted open, every window smashed. The inside was just as bad, some of the furniture destroyed completely.**_

 _ **"Dragged them off, I'm almost certain." Kingsley said, but Alastor was already heading to the stairs. He reached the door of the nursery quickly, almost sure they would have killed or taken the baby too.**_

 ** _He had been curious why Ted and Andromeda decided to ask them to be godfathers of their daughter, but he had stopped caring after the first time he had held his goddaughter nearly a month before, when she was a few days old. They hadn't known Ted or Andromeda very well, but he figured it was for safety. If Bellatrix were to find Ted and Andromeda, their daughter might be safer with two Aurors._**

 ** _If Ted and Andromeda were gone, who better to protect their daughter from Andromeda's family than two Aurors?_**

 ** _The room was completely untouched, and Alastor noticed it was cold in here as well. He approached the crib, and immediately pulled his cloak off when he realised Nymphadora was still there._**

 ** _Ted and Andromeda were gone, probably dragged away, and the Death Eaters simply decided to leave the baby in a cold home- why? As soon as he began to wonder, he realised it was simple. It was a cold spring, the house was cold, no one would be around to care for Nymphadora._**

 ** _The Death Eaters were simply going to let the baby starve or freeze to death. He wrapped the cloak around Nymphadora, lifting the baby gently. Her eyes opened, her hair turned dark and she let out a wail, clearly unhappy with being woken up so abruptly, or probably unhappy because she'd likely be hungry or need to be changed._**

 ** _"Ah, trust me, you don't want to stay here." Alastor said, cradling her and heading back downstairs. "King, we'll head to St Mungo's, get the kid looked at. I don't know what to do-"_**

 ** _"Well, we can also contact Fabian and Gideon's sister, she has three kids now, right?" Kingsley said. "She can probably offer some kind of advice, but St Mungo's first, we don't know how long she's been here alone."_**


	3. Chapter 3

**_I have hit a wall with all of my stories- except for A New Family_**

 ** _SO, I got the idea to combine my stories "Raising The Rainbow" and "A Ready Made Spy". Some parts will be identical to the other stories, but with changes)_**

 ** _It's really just that I'm using the ideas that Kingsley and Alastor raise Tonks, and she later goes to spy on a Death Eater meeting with disastrous consequences._**

 _ **A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ **Sirius is still alive as of this chapter.**_

 _ **I don't own HP, and I took inspiration from what Remus says in HBP: "Albus needed a spy, and here I was, ready-made."**_

 _ *******And since I don't own HP, I don't own the parts of DH Chapter 1 you will see in this chapter*******_

 _ **Again, I'm utilising my headcanon that Andromeda and Ted were part of the first Order.**_

* * *

Hermione appeared outside of the Burrow's boundaries, just as Kingsley's instructions had told her to do. Stepping through the boundaries, she was met with the end of Kingsley's wand pointing at her chest.

"How did you receive my instructions, and on what date?" He asked.

"Three days ago, on July 20th, I received a patronus- yours, which is a lynx- telling me to Apparate exactly one hundred and fifty yards away from the house." She said.

He nodded, stowing his wand beneath his robes. "Your parents?"

"Safe, as I said they would be." She said, and they walked back towards the house. "Has anything new happened?"

"A lot has happened." Kingsley said.

"Good or bad?"

"Good, with a lot of bad."

"What's the good, then?" Hermione asked.

"Remus and Dora got married just over a week ago, it gave us a reason to celebrate something. And so far, this house remains safe. We'll be bringing Harry here on Saturday, the wedding will go ahead as planned on the first of August."

"And the bad? Deaths?" She asked, her heart skipping a beat.

"Not that we know of, yet."

"Yet?"

"Dora went on an undercover mission last night, and still has not returned." Kingsley said.

"Oh, Kingsley, I'm sorry."

"Remus and Sirius spent hours looking for any signs of her, we can only imagine they found out about her and took her captive. And we're setting up a safe house for the Dursleys, we just need Order members who will agree to protect them."

"And the plan to move Harry?" Hermione asked.

"It will be discussed at an Order meeting tonight." Kingsley said as they reached the Burrow's back door. "I must get back to the Muggle Prime Minister, I'll see you this evening, Hermione."

She nodded and watched as he walked back to the point she had just appeared at. She turned, heading into the Burrow's kitchen. It took her an hour before she could escape the various family members and Order members in the home, and by the end of the hour, all she wanted was quiet.

Hermione walked towards Ron's room, knowing it would be the quietest area in the house, her copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ in her arms. She had arrived at the Burrow only an hour before, but between the wedding planning and the Order being in what she could only describe as crisis mode, she already needed silence.

She walked by the twins' room, only for the door to open and one of the twins to step out, a box in his arms. He bumped into her, catching her by surprise, and she stumbled backwards, landing on her backside in the hallway.

The twin dropped the box, and she found herself looking up at Fred while Decoy Detonators scurried around her.

"Oh, Hermione, I didn't realise you were here!" Fred said.

"I figured that." She said, as he held out a hand. She took it, standing.

"I have a habit of making the ladies fall for me." Fred said, bending down to retrieve the book, frowning slightly. "A Muggle book?"

She took the book. "Uh, yes. My mother bought it for me a few years ago."

"Never change, Miss Granger." He said with a wink, waving his wand and returning the Decoy Detonators to the box. He began heading down the hallway when she noticed one of the Decoy Detonators hadn't be summoned. She grabbed it, following Fred.

"You forgot this, Fred." She said, and he turned to look at her.

"Keep it." He said. "Perhaps you'll need a decoy, Granger."

As he continued walking, she looked down at the Decoy Detonator, a blush creeping to her cheeks as she smiled slightly.

She heard footsteps from the stairs leading to Ron's room, and jumped when Ron spoke. "Hey, Hermione, heard you arrived." He said, when she turned to him. "Looking for me?"

She tucked the Decoy Detonator into her beaded bag. "I was on my way up to your room, actually." She said. "You don't mind if I read in there, do you? It's just a little loud downstairs, and I'd like some silence."

Ron shrugged. "Nah, go ahead, I'm heading out to play Quidditch with Ginny, Bill and the twins." He said. "We have to try to convince Charlie to join us, or our teams are uneven. Unless you'd like to...?"

"No, that's alright, I'd like to read." She said, and he nodded, headed downstairs. As she continued up to Ron's room, she couldn't stop thinking about Fred's wink.

 _Merlin, the Weasleys are a distracting bunch._

* * *

They gathered in the crowded kitchen of the Burrow that evening, and Hermione noticed Remus and Sirius were the second last to arrive. She wasn't sure if it would be appropriate for her to approach him, congratulating him on his marriage and saying she was sorry there was a chance he was widowed all in the same week, so she stayed silent, waiting for the meeting to begin.

Moody finally arrived, his magical eye searching the room quickly, before he walked to stand next to Kingsley. "No sign, I take it?" He asked, and most of the Order members looked towards Remus and Sirius.

"Not yet." Sirius said. "We're going back to the Manor tonight, try to find some kind of sign of her."

Moody nodded after a moment. "If there's no lead found in the next twenty four hours, I believe we'd be better off assuming she's been killed. Give ourselves closure." He said. "After all, she walked into a room of Death Eaters and You-Know-Who himself, if they found her out-"

"She was sent."

Remus' voice was so quiet, that Hermione hadn't been sure he had spoken at all, until she realised others were looking at him as well.

"She volunteered." Moody said. "We could have used Polyjuice-"

"You should have!" Remus snapped, shoving his chair back and standing. "Any of you! It didn't have to be her! Alastor, you're a damned retired Auror, you know how the Death Eaters work!"

"I didn't like the idea either, Lupin, but Nymphadora volunteered-"

"She volunteered a lot in the past, but why now? Why send her _now_?" Remus demanded. "Alastor, you and Kingsley are her parents! Shouldn't you have wanted to protect her? Or teach her to do it herself in your absence? Or, perhaps, she is just a tool to the Order? Is that why you took her in instead of handing her to the Malfoys? She's useful, because as long as she's around, none of you need to disguise yourselves to face a Death Eater meeting, she'll do it for you! And because of that she's most likely been killed, and we have no body to bury- because _none_ of you volunteered to do what she's done."

Hermione jumped as Moody's fist connected with the top of the table, leaving an echoing silence as the grizzled Auror focused both of his eyes on the werewolf.

"You better rethink who you're speaking to, Lupin." Moody growled. "I've known that girl since the day she was born. _I_ was the one to take her from that house when Death Eaters left her for dead when she was barely a month old, King and I spent _hours_ , waiting for St Mungo's to agree to allow her to go with us. We fought the Ministry for nearly _two bloody years_ to keep her out of the Malfoys' greedy clutches."

There was a tense silence, and Moody continued. "King and I raised her, _I_ trained her to be the Auror she became. And Merlin be damned if her _husband of a week_ thinks he has any right to make it sound as if I've failed somehow. If she dies, it's not because of me, it's not because of the Order- it'll be because there might have simply been no hope for _any_ Order member that had walked into that meeting. The girl I trained, the Nymphadora _we_ raised, will go down fighting and without muttering a single word about our plans, and we should all honour her- whether or not we find her body."

The tension seemed even thicker when Moody stopped talking, broken only when Remus stormed from the kitchen and into the garden, a loud crack telling them he wasn't returning to that meeting.

"We're going ahead with the plan for this Saturday." Moody continued after a moment. "Like I said, I don't believe Dora would let slip any of our plans."

"What is the plan for this Saturday?" Hermione asked quietly, and Moody's electric blue eye swiveled to stare at her.

"Polyjuice Potion." He said. "Six decoys, the real Potter and seven protectors. In pairs, we're moving to seven different safe houses and portkeys will bring the pairs here. Potter can't use magic, we need to distract from the real Potter as much as possible. Originally, I was going to go and bring him here with Side-Along, but there are Death Eaters in the Ministry, and we can't have him tracked here. Which leads me to the next problem that I have. We're one decoy short now that Dora's absent, possibly a protector short as well-"

"Remus will still be there." Sirius said. "He'll be there for Harry."

"I can be a decoy." Hermione said, and Moody nodded.

"Are you comfortable on a broom?" He asked, and she shook her head.

"Not exactly." She admitted.

"You'll be on one of the thestrals, then."

"Pairings?" Kingsley asked. "If I was originally with Dora..."

"Ron will be with Sirius, Fred with Arthur, George with Remus, Mundungus with me- all on brooms. Hermione with Kingsley and Fleur with Bill- on thestrals. And the real one with Hagrid on the bike." Moody responded.

"I want to protect Harry." Sirius said.

"They'll expect it. They'll go for the ones that seem obvious as protectors- the Aurors and the godfather. He's safer with Hagrid." Arthur said.

Sirius went to say something else, but Moody cut across him. "No more arguments, Black."

"I was going to say something else, actually." Sirius said. "You said that You-Know-Who is probably going to have Death Eaters patrolling the area, so we need to be prepared. Now, if that happens, and they get all of their Death Eater buddies to show up- there are likely to be Imperiused Death Eaters, right?"

"Curse them." Moody said. "Anyone who threatens your life, curse-"

"Even if it's Dora?" Sirius asked. "You said it yourself, she'll fight, but if she can't fight off an Imperius Curse, we've got one of us on the _other_ side. Someone who knows each of the people who will be out there, and she's a damn good dueler."

Moody was quiet for a moment. "Stun her." He said. "If you see her, Stun her."

"And let her fall? If we're dueling on brooms-"

"Then don't let her fall."


	4. Chapter 4

**_I have hit a wall with all of my stories- except for A New Family_**

 ** _SO, I got the idea to combine my stories "Raising The Rainbow" and "A Ready Made Spy". Some parts will be identical to the other stories, but with changes)_**

 _ **A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ **I don't own HP, and I took inspiration from what Remus says in HBP: "Albus needed a spy, and here I was, ready-made."**_

 _ *******And since I don't own HP, I don't own the parts of DH Chapter 1 you will see in this chapter*******_

 _ **Again, I'm utilising my headcanon that Andromeda and Ted were part of the first Order. I'm having issues with including the memories, oops. My idea was to have her think of the memories as she's captive, but they just don't all seem to fit. I may try to include them later, I'm just changing this whole story, tbh  
**_

* * *

Tonks had no concept of time, but could guess she had been left overnight and most of the next day before they returned again. Another round of the Cruciatus, and she still refused to speak. They could kill her, she refused to betray the Order.

She found some strength to fight off Rodolphus' advances when Bellatrix stepped back, but Bellatrix rushed forward, digging her knife into Tonks' stomach, demanding answers as she allowed her husband to continue his assault on Tonks' bleeding body. She cried in pain, sobbing as Rodolphus continued on, but still refused to provide any information.

This time, when Rodolphus pulled away, it wasn't over. They weren't finished yet, and every time she refused to speak, it was another hit, another kick to the ribs, another round of the Cruciatus.

"Bella, Rodolphus, the Dark Lord is waiting for you." She heard Severus Snape's drawl as the door opened. "He requires an update on your... attempts at gathering information from Nymphadora."

She lost consciousness as they were leaving, Rodolphus pausing to throw her outer robe over her naked and beaten form, calling her a werewolf's whore as he left.

She didn't know how long she was unconscious for, but she woke up alone, dragging herself over to her discarded clothes. She sobbed as she tried to pull them on, every breath hurting and every movement was excruciating.

She felt like she was going throw up by the time she managed to pull the outer robe back on. She tried to stand, falling to her knees with a cry of pain. She collapsed onto her side, clutching her stomach, and could feel the warm blood seeping onto her hand.

She was going to bleed to death, she knew it. But at least she hadn't broken and given any information. She let her eyes close, tears leaking from her eyes. If she could fall asleep, perhaps die before they returned...

As the thought appeared, she realised she didn't want to die. The idea seemed so terrifying, death so _final_.

She had people waiting for her. She had information to give. She refused to die.

She hadn't done enough with her life. Merlin, she had just gotten married. And after every fight, _every fight_ that Kingsley and Alastor went through to win the right to raise her from the Malfoys after two years of arguments, she couldn't just give up.

They would have to forcefully kill her, she wasn't giving up.

The door opened, and she waited, almost hoping that whatever they had planned now would be quick. Perhaps they planned to kill her now.

Instead of pain, instead of a flash of green, she felt a surprisingly gentle hand on her shoulder.

She frowned when she saw Severus Snape leaning over her.

He pushed her onto her back, moving her hand away from the the wound on her stomach, muttering a spell. The bleeding ceased immediately, an odd sensation washing over her body as the pain disappeared. She frowned deeper. He was helping her. Why?

"What are you doing?" She asked.

He didn't answer. Instead, Snape pocketed his wand, leaning down further and lifting her. She was too weak to push him away, and let her head fall into his shoulder as he walked, pain shooting through her body as he moved. Strangely, the potions professor didn't smell of various potion ingredients as she expected, instead he smelled of candle wax and old books. Although, now she wondered why one would notice this. Did one notice so many tiny details before their death?

"Is he going to kill me?" She asked, but was met with Snape shushing her.

She fell silent, allowing him to carry her somewhere, simply feeling too weak to fight anymore. To her surprise, he carried her outside.

"You overpowered Wormtail." He said when they had walked through the gates, and he set her on her feet. She swayed, and he caught her arm, keeping her upright, his black eyes focused on her. "You escaped out of the cellar because he failed to lock it properly after checking on you. He is currently Stunned, his memory modified. He will remember _you_ overpowering him." Snape said, handing her a wand- Wormtail's wand. "You are going to Apparate with me two miles south. That's where you'll be found."

"You're helping me escape." She said, stunned. "Why?"

"I may be a murderer to you and the rest of the Order, but I also have the ability to do the right thing."

"But why?" She asked. "I mean, you didn't stop Professor Burbage from being killed."

"Neither did you."

"I couldn't- I was supposed to be undercover..."

"You did exceptionally well, you know." Snape said. "But perhaps the Order forgot that the Dark Lord can use Legilimency."

"So can you, yet you didn't say anything. And we were alone for a few minutes. You knew, didn't you?"

He didn't answer her, instead tightening his grip on her arm. She allowed herself, for some reason, to be taken with him as he Apparated. They reappeared and the world seemed to spin momentarily and she felt extremely weak and shaky.

"Sit." Snape said, helping her to sit on the ground and kneeling in front of her.

"Why...?" She asked, wrapping her arms around her knees.

"You're still injured."

"I mean, why are you helping me?"

"Why are you still asking?"

"Well, you won't answer."

"You escaped alone, because you were able to overpower Wormtail. You stole his wand, Apparated as far as you were able to." Snape said, aiming his wand at her. She instinctively tightened her grip on Wormtail's wand, and apparently he noticed. "You'll remember everything up until I came to get you. I can't modify all of your memories, there will be too many questions, and any missing details might cause more questions. Tell the Order what you must, tell them what you've learned."

"Severus, why?"

Snape looked at her. "I'm sorry I can't alter the memories of what Rodolphus has done, Nymphadora, but if anyone suspects you have missing memories, they might try to retrieve them."

She went to speak, but felt her mind going fuzzy a moment later.

She had overpowered Wormtail... Taken his wand... Apparated _alone_...

She felt hands pushing her gently to the ground, and passed out before she felt the ground beneath her head.

* * *

Remus hadn't slept after he returned from another search around the perimeter of the Manor a few hours before. He needed a sign, _any_ sign, but he found nothing. Sirius came downstairs around three, but Remus suspected he hadn't slept either. He sat on the other side of the couch, silent for a few minutes. Remus was glad Kingsley was at some event with the Muggle Prime Minister, and Alastor was at the Burrow again, because he didn't exactly feel comfortable being alone with his two father-in-laws because his wife was missing.

"I'm going back over there, to the Manor." Remus said. "I just feel like I should try again."

"When?" Sirius asked.

"Now." Remus said, standing. "Maybe I can-"

"Maybe you can what?" Sirius asked. "We've been there, we've found nothing. Mate, I hate to say it-"

"Then don't." Remus said harshly."You can come with me if you want, but let's drop the 'this is hopeless' talk."

"I'm not saying it to be a git, Moony." Sirius said, but he stood anyway. "I'll come with you, because I'd be barmy if I let you go off alone. I'm just saying, if Kingsley and Alastor are thinking it's too late and that she's gone... maybe you should as well."

"I'd rather not think that."

"Mate, you might have to." Sirius said. "But, anyway, I'll come with you."

Remus looked at him, and then nodded. They left the house together, Apparating into the lane, beginning their walk around the outside of the enchantments, knowing they couldn't pass the enchantments, but perhaps they could see or hear something.

Sirius grabbed Remus' arm suddenly, pointing into the distance. It took Remus a moment to see it, but there was a faint silver glimmer a small distance down the lane. It seemed to materialize very briefly into a four legged animal, and they looked each other.

Four legs, could it be a wolf? Could it be Tonks' wolf?

They walked quickly, but the shapeless patronus kept moving, kept itself out of reach of them. It led them away from the lane, away from a few houses, towards a large field, where it materialized into a doe.

Both men froze, whipping their wands out. The only person they knew with a doe patronus was dead.

The doe continued moving, however and paused beside a dark shape in the overgrown grass.

They exchanged looks, and then walked forward. The doe vanished before they reached the shape on the ground, and Sirius lit the end of his wand. The light of his wand reflected off of a pale face, and Remus fell to his knees beside her.

"Dora?" He asked, reaching for her. She was bruised and bleeding, but _breathing_. Her clothes were torn, and she didn't wake up when he lifted her, her head falling against his shoulder.

"You're sure it's her?" Sirius asked.

"We can't question her right now, not like this." Remus said. "We take her with us, we find out later."

Sirius nodded, Disapparating with a loud crack. Remus followed, tightening his grip on Tonks. He reappeared outside the boundaries of the home.

"It's alright, we've got you." Remus whispered in her ear, carrying her up the garden path. Sirius walked ahead, opening the door of the dark house. He continued ahead, as Remus spoke softly to Tonks, but he was sure she was still unconscious.

Sirius had shoved a book and most of the extra pillows off the couch, leaving a single pillow on the end. He walked to the hallway, grabbing a thin blanket from the closet and returning just as Remus set her down.

"We need to get her robes off." Sirius said, handing Remus the blanket. "To heal the wounds-"

"Can you get Dittany?" Remus asked, setting the blanket on the arm of the couch and leaning over her again, grabbing the collar of her ruined shirt, ripping half of the buttons off. Sirius nodded, leaving the room quickly.

Remus noticed small bruises covering her chest and stomach, he even noticed a clear hand shaped bruise on one of her hips, and felt sick. They must have used Slicing Charms or a knife, these cuts were far too long and deep to have happened when she had been beaten.

Remus folded the blanket, covering her bare chest, just as Sirius returned, holding out the Dittany.

"The worst one is here, on her stomach, but it looks partially healed..." Remus said, taking the small from Sirius. "The others I can probably heal with spells."

Remus uncorked the Dittany, dropping a few drops on the wound. "What if we hadn't found her tonight?" Sirius asked.

Remus shook his head. "It doesn't matter, because we did." He said. "I just want to know why she didn't come back when she was supposed to. Contact Alastor, maybe he can get Kingsley."

"I'll make some tea as well, do you want some?" Sirius asked, and Remus nodded. Sirius went into the kitchen, and Remus shifted the blanket to cover her entirely, lifting her upper body to sit with her partially on his lap. He ran a hand over her hair, his wedding ring glinting in the soft light, a harsh reminder that this was his wife- and he had made little objection to her walking into a den of snakes. His wife, and he hadn't protected her- perhaps he should have gone with her, but he knew he couldn't.

Remus had spent the first week of July, confused. He wanted to marry her, be with her, but could he be either? The second week, they got married. The third, she had vanished.

Now they were a few days from getting Harry from his Muggle family's- a mission Tonks wasn't going to participate in anyway, because Hermione had now taken her place.

"I'm sorry, Dora." Remus said, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "We should have sent someone else."

"I sent a patronus message to Arthur, Kingsley and Alastor." Sirius said. "Arthur can talk to Molly and anyone still at the Burrow, and Kingsley will get it when he's alone. Knowing Alastor-"

There was a loud crack in the yard.

"-he's on his way here." Sirius finished as there was a loud banging on the door. "Who is it?" Sirius called, setting the tea down on the coffee table.

"Alastor Nathaniel Moody, known as Mad-Eye. At the last Order meeting, Remus John Lupin stormed out after saying someone else should have taken his wife's place- his wife being Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks, who I raised and trained to be an Auror-"

Alastor was cut off as Sirius opened the door. Alastor entered, looking at Tonks in Remus' arms.

"I am sorry, Remus, for sending her." Alastor said. "Even though she volunteered, you were right. We turned her down for other undercover missions, we should have turned her down this time as well. Has she woken?"

"No." Remus said, looking down at Tonks. "I've healed the worst of her injuries- which were already partially healed-"

"Already healed?" Alastor asked, stepping forward. "Did she have a wand on her when you found her? Where did you find her?"

"In a field, about two miles from Malfoy Manor. She did have a wand next to her. Wormtail's wand." Sirius said, and Remus noticed he didn't make any mention of the doe.

"She must have fought him, taken his wand and escaped, then-"

"Look at her." Remus said. "I doubt she's done much fighting in the last few hours-"

"Wormtail isn't a very tough opponent, she probably just had to demand his wand." Sirius said. "Bloody coward would have handed it over."

"Maybe she lost her strength Apparating." Alastor said. "Even I doubt she would walk two miles in that condition. Let her rest, when she wakes up, ask a security question."

"Who else would it be?" Remus asked. "What would be point of giving us a false, still injured, Dora?"

"She could be a Death Eater, disguised to get in our ranks." Alastor said. "Ask her to morph-"

"She's injured, I doubt she'll want to morph." Sirius said.

"She's done it before, even if it's a very slight change." Alastor said. "It's the most accurate security question for her. We don't know what information they might have about her."

Remus nodded. "We'll ask her to morph." He said.

"There will be a meeting tomorrow, at noon. At the Burrow, we're going to finalise the plans for Saturday."


	5. Chapter 5

**_I have hit a wall with all of my stories_**

 ** _SO, I got the idea to combine my stories "Raising The Rainbow" and "A Ready Made Spy". Some parts will be identical to the other stories, but with changes)_**

 _ **A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ **I don't own HP, and I took inspiration from what Remus says in HBP: "Albus needed a spy, and here I was, ready-made."**_

 _ *******And since I don't own HP, I don't own the parts of DH Chapter 1 you will see in this chapter*******_

 _ **Again, I'm utilising my headcanon that Andromeda and Ted were part of the first Order. I'm having issues with including the memories, oops. My idea was to have her think of the memories as she's captive, but they just don't all seem to fit. I may try to include them later, I'm just changing this whole story, tbh  
**_

* * *

Remus carried Tonks upstairs after a while, still covered in the blanket, setting her gently on the bed after waving his wand to move the blankets out of the way. Slowly and gently, he pulled the rest of her clothes off, cleaning blood from her skin and feeling for any possible broken bones.

As much as he hated his condition and the years he had spent alone, it had provided him with ample time to learn how to search for and treat various injuries. When he couldn't find any, he grabbed a tank top and shorts, lifting her into a sitting position to pull the tank top over her head, gently adjusting it. When he pulled the shorts onto her, he realised the bruises on her legs seemed to have a very _specific_ pattern and he felt even sicker. He lay his hand over the bruise, feeling worse when part of it matched up, as if someone had been digging their fingers into her legs.

The hand shaped bruise on her hip, these bruises on her thighs...

He released her leg as if her skin had burned him, stepping back. He was going to be _sick_.

He turned, heading back downstairs, and Sirius and Alastor looked up.

"What? Did something happen? Is she awake?"

"There's- she has some bruises."

"Well, she looked like she had been pretty severely beaten-"

"No, no, they're-" Remus couldn't think of the words to say, instead gesturing for them to follow him.

"Moony, mate, tell me." Sirius said, as they followed him.

"Lupin, just tell us." Alastor demanded.

He walked into the bedroom, heading over to Tonks, pointing to her leg. "There."

Sirius stood next to him. "It's a bruise-"

Remus leaned down, pulling the hem of her tank top up only far enough to reveal the hand shaped bruised. Sirius seemed to be realising what Remus was thinking, and he frowned when Remus placed his fingers over the bruises on her leg.

"Remus, you don't think-"

Remus straightened up. "Do you think we could wake her up with _Rennervate_ _?_ "

"We could try." Alastor said. "But she might not know where she is at first."

Remus nodded. "We're all here to calm her down if she panics." He said, reaching to pull the blanket over her so she wouldn't feel so exposed right away. He aimed his wand at Tonks.

"Remus, she may not want to admit it, you know." Sirius said. "Don't pry if she doesn't want to talk."

Remus nodded, pointing his wand at Tonks' chest. " _Rennervate_." He whispered, and there was a moment where nothing happened.

And then her eyes opened. There was a very fleeting moment where Remus thought she might be calm, but then she seemed to realise she was somewhere different, and sat up quickly, her eyes filling with confusion and panic as she looked around the room but almost didn't seem to recognise anything- until she spotted Remus.

"Dora, it's alright." He said, as her eyes flickered to Sirius and Alastor.

Tears filled her eyes and Remus realised she was trembling. He sat on the edge of the bed, reaching towards one of her hands. She pulled her hand away immediately, and then looked horrified at what she had done. "I'm sorry." She said quietly, tears falling onto her cheeks. "Remus, I'm so sorry-"

"Don't be." Remus said. "You have nothing to apologise for."

She burst into tears, burying her head in her hands. Remus heard Sirius leave and Alastor walked closer. "Dora, can you tell me what happened?" Alastor asked, gently. "What are these bruises from?"

She shook her head, crying harder.

Remus wanted to hold her, comfort her, but he couldn't bring himself to move. If she had flinched away from his hand...

"Do you want to take a bath?" Remus asked. "I'll go run you a bath, alright?"

She didn't respond, but was taking deep breaths, clearly trying to pull herself together. He stood, heading for the bathroom just as Sirius came up the stairs. He held a vial out to Remus.

"Calming Draught." He said. "She might need it."

Remus nodded. "I'm going to run her a bath. She didn't want to say anything, so I won't push it, just as you suggested. Can you go give that to her? Alastor is still with her."

Sirius nodded, but both men paused when they heard the door slam open downstairs.

"Remus? Alastor?" Kingsley yelled, and it sounded like he was heading for the stairs. "Sirius?"

"We're up here!" Sirius replied.

Kingsley appeared on the stairs, pausing a few steps from the top, aiming his wand at Remus. "You asked me something the day after you married, what was it?"

"I asked that you and Alastor forgive us for marrying without your knowledge or permission." Remus said. "How old were you when you married Alastor?"

"We're not _technically_ married." Kingsley responded, stowing his wand in his pocket. "Where is she?"

"With Alastor." Remus said. "Sirius was taking her a Calming Draught, I was running a bath for her."

Kingsley held out his hand, taking the vial from Sirius and walking by the two of them. He walked down the hall, into Remus and Tonks' bedroom.

* * *

She had scrubbed every inch of her skin raw. Some parts of her body were red from the scrubbing, scratch marks from her own nails, the hot water was even stinging her raw skin but she couldn't handle it. She felt filthy, disgusting. They had told her she didn't have to face the Order until she wanted to- there was a meeting the next day, but she didn't have to attend.

Did Remus suspect, then? The way he looked at her, she suspected he did. He obviously saw the bruises, he had probably been the one to change her into the clothes she had been wearing when she woke up.

The Calming Draught that Kingsley had given her had only been forcing her to remain _physically_ calm, it didn't seem to be easing her mind at all. Her thoughts wouldn't stop, she kept remembering, kept _feeling_ Rodolphus' hands on her. Her own screams from the rounds of the Cruciatus seemed to echo in her ears.

What kind of sick torture was that? To do such a thing, just to gain information?

She took a deep breath. She couldn't let them have the satisfaction. She was going to that Order meeting, and she was going to continue to fight this war.

She rose from the water, momentarily feeling dizzy- probably because she couldn't remember the last time she ate- and stood for a moment, looking at herself in the mirror. The wound on her stomach looked like it could be a few days old- she assumed they used Dittany, then- and the bruises made her feel a strange mix of sickened and enraged. She grabbed the clothes Remus had handed her before she went into the bathroom, dressing as fast as she could despite the soreness that seemed to be setting in. She didn't have her wand, so she dried her hair as much as she could with a towel, draining the tub and heading down the stairs. She couldn't rid herself of the feelings she had, the disgust with herself or the instinctual jumpiness she seemed to be experiencing when Remus or Sirius walked too close, but she refused to let it consume her.

They were talking in hushed whispers on the couch, falling completely silent when she appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked, standing and walking towards her.

She felt another surge of hatred for herself when she instinctively took a step back and Remus paused, but he didn't look upset. He reached into his pocket, and then held out his hand, her wedding ring in his palm. She took it, slipping it onto her finger.

"I'll make you something to eat." Kingsley said, standing and heading towards the kitchen.

"I'm not-"

"I didn't ask if you were hungry."

Sirius held up her wand, gesturing her over to the couch. She walked over with Remus, sitting on the couch. He held out her wand, which she took gratefully.

"As much as we'd love to break Wormtail's wand, it's actually good you had it." Sirius said. "Arthur needs a new wand, we'll take it tomorrow and see if he can use it. Do you remember how you escaped?"

She nodded. "He forgot to redo the enchantments on the room, I overpowered him and took his wand and fled-"

"Did you heal yourself?" Remus asked.

She looked at him. "Did I what?"

"Your stomach was partially healed when we brought you here." Sirius said. "How did you get two miles away from the house?"

She frowned. "I Apparated." She said slowly. "But I don't remembering healing myself."

Alastor frowned. "Did you get help from someone?"

"I don't think so?"

"We found you because a patronus led us to you." Sirius said. "A doe."

"A doe?" Tonks asked.

"You two didn't mention a patronus before." Alastor said.

"You don't remember anyone else being there?" Sirius asked, and she shook her head. "Do you remember what happened while you were there?"

"I remember the meeting." Tonks said, and then she remembered that the Death Eaters knew they were moving this Saturday. "I need to talk to the Order tomorrow."

"Kingsley and I have a watch on Privet Drive tonight, Remus and Sirius will be there tomorrow morning. Kingsley needs to be at the Muggle Minister's office in the morning, so I can Side-Along you to the Burrow if you don't want to Apparate alone." Alastor said "Unless you want to tell us what you learned, and simply stay here?"

She shook her head. "I'm going to the meeting."

* * *

"I was wondering where she was. Remus is still downstairs, so I went by their room, but she wasn't there." Alastor commented as he entered. Tonks was curled up next to Kingsley, half buried beneath blankets. "Asleep?"

"Involuntarily." Kingsley said. "Apparently, Remus made her take a pain potion and a Dreamless Sleep potion, I gave her the Calming Draught. It took a few minutes for all three to really affect her. I guess she just didn't want to stay with Remus tonight."

"Did Remus tell you?"

Kingsley nodded.

"Has she said anything?"

He shook his head, not wanting to tell Alastor before she could, because she had admitted it to Kingsley, but it was her business, not his. "She hasn't even admitted she was tortured with the Cruciatus, but we already know she was." He said, and that much was true, she hadn't said anything, but it was obvious she had been tortured with the Cruciatus.

"We'll need to ask her what she learned." Alastor said.

"That can wait until she wakes up." Kingsley said. "Do we need to-?"

"Remus will cover your patrol." Alastor said. "That's why I was coming up here anyway, he wants to have time to talk to her alone. He'll take your patrol tonight, I'll take his in the morning. He'll bring her to the Burrow."

"He's not going to pry, is he?"

"She can handle him."


	6. Chapter 6

**_SO, I got the idea to combine my stories "Raising The Rainbow" and "A Ready Made Spy". Some parts will be identical to the other stories, but with changes)_**

 _ **A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts you see below*******_

 _ **It's literally just a reworking of a Ready Made Spy with Kingsley and Alastor instead- however, differences ahead!  
**_

* * *

Kingsley woke up a few times throughout the night. She was restless, despite the Dreamless Sleep Potion, but he couldn't blame her, and he hadn't wanted to carry her all the way back to the room she shared with Remus after she had fallen asleep during their conversation.

He got up when he heard someone moving around downstairs, and figured Remus and Alastor had returned from the patrol. He headed downstairs, where Sirius was at the stove, making breakfast. Remus and Alastor were sitting at the table, still wearing their cloaks.

"How is she?" Alastor asked.

"Still asleep. Anything noteworthy from patrol last night?" Kingsley asked.

"Nothing." Remus said. "No activity at all. Seems suspicious to me."

"Perhaps there's a reason for that, perhaps Dora knows." Sirius said.

"Do you think she told them anything?" Remus asked.

"No."

"Absolutely not."

Kingsley and Alastor had spoken at the same time. "I don't think I'd blame her anyway." Kingsley continued.

"Do you think she should face the Order so soon?" Sirius asked. "They're going to ask-"

"She's stubborn, she'll only answer what she wants to answer." Alastor said.

Sirius nodded. "So, what should we do?"

"About what?" Remus asked.

"What you saw last night." Sirius answered. "Has she said anything about it?"

Remus shook his head.

"Not to me." Alastor said. "Kingsley? You said you spoke to her before she fell asleep?"

"She didn't say much about what happened."

"But she said something?" Remus asked.

"She didn't say what they had done." Kingsley said, still feeling guilty that he was lying to them. "She said Bellatrix and Rodolphus were in charge of getting information from her."

"I wonder if Bellatrix would tell us if we found her..." Sirius said. "After all, Bellatrix likes to boast."

"I think that counts as reckless, Padfoot." Remus said. "And weren't you saying you wanted to be less reckless so you could help Harry more?"

"Moony, look at who you're talking to." Sirius said. ''I went after Wormtail for betraying James and Lily. I'll go after the bastard that raped my cousin too."

"We don't know that's what happened." Alastor said harshly. "Black, let's go, we need to be on patrol soon."

"We'll meet at the Burrow at noon." Kingsley said, standing. "Remus, make sure Dora eats something."

* * *

It hadn't been so bad when they first arrived at the Burrow. Molly had been the first to approach her, and when Molly had grabbed her in a hug, she hadn't pulled away- she felt safe and comforted. Hermione had also taken the opportunity to congratulate them on their marriage because she had arrived while Tonks had been gone.

And then the meeting began, and as she expected- most of the Order seemed to want to know about the meeting and her escape first. She was sitting next to Remus, staring at the table. She could feel everyone's eyes on her, waiting for her to tell them what she had learned, but suddenly her nerve seemed to be failing her, suddenly she couldn't speak, because she knew what the immediate reaction would be. They would think she told them.

"You-Know-Who knows about Saturday." She finally muttered, without looking up.

"Did you tell them?" Fleur asked.

She looked up, glaring at Fleur. "I didn't tell them anything!"

"But you just said-" Fleur began.

"I didn't say I told them, I just said he knew!"

"I assume it was mentioned during the meeting, then?" Kingsley asked. "Who told You-Know-Who?"

"Snape."

"How does Snape know?" Sirius asked, leaning forward.

"I don't know." She said. "He didn't say anything about decoys, he just said that's the date we're moving him."

"He didn't say who told him?" Arthur asked.

She shook her head. "He said he has a source." She said. "Which means there's a betrayer among us."

"How did they figure you out?" Alastor asked. "Did you drop any part of your morph?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. He just _knew_. Maybe he used Legilimency-"

"You didn't feel it, though?" Sirius asked, and she shook her head. "Maybe the same person who told Snape about this Saturday also managed to tell him that you'd be there."

"We make a new plan, then-" Alastor began.

"They don't know about the decoys." Tonks repeated. "And maybe there's a chance that they'll think it was some kind of false trail."

"We'd be risking the entire mission-"

"We don't have time for a new plan." She said. "They don't know about the safe houses, they don't know about the decoys. We can still confuse them."

"What else did they know?" Alastor asked.

"Nothing related to the mission." She said.

"Related to the Order?"

"They know that Remus and I got married, they know that we think that they've infiltrated the Ministry- which we know is true. We can't move Harry using any other method, but it does sound like he's planning to take Harry as we move. No matter what we do, there's going to be a fight." She said. "And- I don't know if she's been declared missing yet, but Charity Burbage is dead."

"They talked about her?" Kingsley asked, and she shook her head.

"She was there, they must have taken her prisoner." She said. "She was killed during the meeting."

"Did they mention dropping her body somewhere?" Arthur asked. "We should return it to her husband."

Tonks felt sick as the image of the snake wrapping its body around Charity's lifeless body flashed through her mind, and she closed her eyes.

"Dora, are you alright?" Kingsley asked.

"There's no body." She said, opening her eyes after a long silence.

"What do you mean?" Bill asked. "What'd they do to her?"

"Do you remember the snake that attacked Arthur?" She asked, and most of the Order seemed confused for a moment. "Well, it was there. At the meeting."

"Did it attack her?" Molly asked, and Tonks shook her head.

"How did Charity die, Tonks?" Hestia asked gently.

"Killing Curse."

"And the snake, what did the snake have to do with it?" Sirius asked.

Remus exhaled beside her. "Dora, you said there's no body. And if the snake was there..."

"Oh, Bloody Hell." Sirius whispered. "The snake- it ate her, didn't it?"

"Yes."

"And what happened to you?" Alastor asked. "They clearly tried to torture information out of you-"

"I didn't tell them anything." She snapped before she could stop herself. "I kept my silence-"

"Alastor, I think she's going to keep her silence." Sirius said, and she glared at him. "I'm sorry, Dora, but we're concerned."

"I got tortured with the Cruciatus by my own Aunt, I got _stabbed_ and beaten." She said, suddenly feeling angry. "All for information they _already had_. Is that what you want to know? Or do you want more details? Perhaps you want to know that Bellatrix didn't act alone-?"

"We want to know that you're okay." Sirius said.

She stood, pushing her chair back. "Let's send you to Malfoy Manor for two days, see if you're okay afterwards." She said, turning and leaving the Burrow.

"Dora!" Remus called, following her outside. He must have jogged to catch up to her when she continued walking, because his hand grabbed her arm a second later. Immediately and without really thinking, she spun and slapped him, and then froze.

"Remus, I'm- oh my _God_." She said, clapping her hand to her mouth as he released her arm.

Remus seemed startled for a moment, but didn't seem angry with her. "It's alright, Dora-"

"No, it's not! I just _hit my husband!_ "

"Dora, I know something happened, something you don't want to admit. And it has you a little... on edge." Remus said. "And I understand that. What I don't understand is why you don't want to tell me. Whatever it is, Dora, you can tell me."

She didn't speak.

"I shouldn't have grabbed you like that." Remus said. "And I'm sorry."

She sighed, staring at the ground. She couldn't say the words, she couldn't tell him.

"We are right, aren't we?" Remus asked. "The bruises, they aren't just from you getting beaten, are they?"

She shook her head slowly. "I already told Kingsley, but- I-"

"Who was it?"

"Rodolphus." She whispered, tears stinging her eyes. "I'm sorry, Remus- I tried to-"

He walked forward, wrapping his arms around her tightly, resting his cheek on her hair. "Don't apologise, you've done nothing wrong." He said. "We'll get through this. Whatever you need, you just tell me.''

For a fleeting moment she wanted to push him away, but the familiar feeling of his sweater against her cheek, the way he always smelled of chocolate and books and the scent of his aftershave...

She wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his chest, sobs shaking her body- but it was alright, she was safe, she was with Remus.

* * *

Somehow, Remus knowing seemed to help Tonks. They spent the rest of Friday and most of Saturday alone. Sirius didn't bother them, and Remus didn't tell him he had found out that they had been right. He didn't want to yet, it wasn't his place to say anything anyway, but he felt like their silence may have confirmed it for Sirius. Remus assumed Kingsley may have told Alastor, because Alastor was in a foul mood whenever Tonks wasn't around, but became uncharacteristically(for Remus, anyway) more cheerful when she was around.

They only left their room a few times, because Alastor and Kingsley insisted she leave her room a couple of times because they were concerned she was becoming depressed, but the rest of the time they simply stayed with each other.

He helped her heal her bruises, something none of them viewed as a priority before- but now he thought it was extremely important to do that. Otherwise, she'd have to spend weeks watching as the bruises faded and he hated the idea of her having to see the physical evidence daily.

Once the bruises were healed, they simply spent the time together, talking about everything except for what had happened. They had talked about it a little bit while he healed her bruises, but once the bruises were gone, so was the conversation.

Remus was happy to comply, if she didn't want to talk about it, he couldn't stand to bring it up. If she needed to talk, she would.

She fell asleep before taking a Dreamless Sleep Potion, and Remus feel asleep shortly afterwards, only to wake up to her crying out. He woke up to see her sitting up, her shoulders shaking slightly, and sat up as well.

"I'm sorry, it was just a nightmare." She said quietly. "Go back to sleep."

"Do you want to talk?" Remus asked, and she shook her head, laying down again. He lay down as well, sighing softly. "If you ever need to, Dora."

"I know, Remus."

He lay there, alternating between being absolutely destroyed at the idea of her being assaulted in such a horrible way, and being absolutely furious that it had happened and found himself hoping that Rodolphus would make an appearance during the mission. If Tonks was right and they knew about it, there would be Death Eaters for sure, and he desperately hoped Rodolphus would be one of them.

And while Remus never considered himself to be willingly violent, he just might make an exception for Rodolphus Lestrange.

* * *

Remus had barely helped George to the couch and backed away when Tonks and Ginny entered the living room. Remus turned to Harry, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him into the kitchen.

"Remus!" Tonks cried, following Remus as Ginny rushed to the couch.

"What creature sat in the corner the first time that Harry Potter visited my office at Hogwarts?" Remus demanded, giving Harry a small shake. "Answer me!"

"Remus, what's wrong with you?" Tonks demanded.

"What creature, Harry?" Remus demanded again.

"A—a Grindylow in a tank, wasn't it?"

Remus released Harry, falling back against a cupboard. "I'm sorry, I had to check." Remus said. "Someone betrayed us, Dora. Voldemort knew that you were being moved tonight and the only people who could have told him were directly involved in the plan. You might have been an impostor, Harry."

Tonks looked hurt and a little angry when Remus spoke.

"Dora, I didn't mean-"

"It's fine." She said stiffly. "Only people directly related to the plan could have possibly told him."

There was a noise in the yard, and Tonks turned, heading for the yard. Kingsley and Hermione were rushing across the yard. Harry and Remus must have followed her outside, because Harry and Hermione ran to each other and threw their arms around each other.

Remus quickly passed Tonks, holding his wand at Kingsley, who raised his as well. "The last words Albus Dumbledore spoke to the pair of us!"

"'Harry is the best hope we have. Trust him.'" Remus answered. Kingsley turned his wand on Harry. "It's him, I've checked!"

"Alright, alright!" said Kingsley, stowing his wand back beneath his cloak, and finally accepting a hug from Tonks. "But somebody betrayed us! They knew, they knew it was tonight!"

"So it seems, but apparently they did not realize that there would be seven Harrys." Remus said, as there was another flash of blue and Fred and Arthur appeared. Immediately, Arthur seemed to realise something must be wrong, as he and Fred rushed to the house, searching for George. Arthur shoved Kingsley's wand out of the way before he could even ask a security question.

"I'll prove myself once I've seen that my son is safe!" He snapped, and Kingsley lowered his wand.

"Harry, did you and Hagrid find the portkey alright?" Kingsley asked, and Harry nodded.

"Yeah, but Hagrid and Mad-Eye didn't really say whose house it was, it wasn't a Muggle's was it?" Harry asked.

"It's technically mine." Tonks said. "I just haven't been there for nearly twenty five years. Kingsley, what happened to you?"

"Followed by five, injured two, may have killed one." Kingsley said. "We saw You-Know-Who as well, but he left after a while. He can-"

"Fly, I saw him too." Harry said.

"So he left to follow you." Kingsley said. "What about you, Remus? Where's George?"

"Followed by four, didn't get a chance to injure or kill, I had to keep George on the broom, he was losing too much blood."

"Too much blood?" Hermione asked, frowning. "What happened-?"

"He lost an ear." Harry said.

"...An ear...?"

A broom materialised above them, streaking towards the ground. Sirius and Ron landed, Harry and Hermione rushing towards Ron as Sirius walked towards the adults.

Remus raised his wand, pointing it directly at Sirius' chest. "When Sirius Black was in fifth year, who did he ask to go to Hogsmeade with him for Valentine's Day?"

"I asked no one, I spent the day with you, because it was full moon the next day." Sirius said. "We did, however, go to Hogsmeade _together_ , but I don't think it was a very romantic date."

Remus lowered his wand. "What happened to you? You should have been back-"

"I killed Rodolphus." Sirius said.

" _What_?" Tonks asked, shocked. "You killed someone?"

"Not just _someone_ , Dora." Sirius said. "And after what he said...''

"What did he say?" Remus asked, although he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"He asked if you were able to smell him on your whore." Sirius said. "After that, I _may_ have accidentally cast a Killing Curse."

" _Accidentally_?" She asked quietly.

"Accidentally, on purpose." Sirius said.

"He deserved a lot worse, Dora." Kingsley said.

"You knew, then?" Sirius asked, and Remus and Kingsley both nodded. "I wish I had done worse. I should have hit him with a _Crucio_ , let him fall to his death. Bloody bastard, what kind of sick son of a-"

"Can we not talk about this right now?" Tonks implored as Harry, Ron and Hermione walked over.

Sirius looked like he was going to continue insulting Rodolphus, but instead threw an arm around Harry's shoulder. "I'm glad you're alright, Harry." He said. "So, did you hear the news? Moony here _finally_ married Dora."


	7. Chapter 7

**_SO, I got the idea to combine my stories "Raising The Rainbow" and "A Ready Made Spy". Some parts will be identical to the other stories, but with changes)_**

 _ **A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts you see below*******_

 _ **It's literally just a reworking of a Ready Made Spy with Kingsley and Alastor instead- however, differences ahead!  
**_

* * *

The yard had descended into a silent vigil, no one wanting to say a single word, until Kingsley cleared his throat, finally tearing his eyes away from the darkness beyond the field.

"I should go, I was expected at the Minister's house nearly-"

"You can't go!" Tonks said, grabbing his arm. "Alastor is still out there-"

"I know he is, Dora." Kingsley said patiently. "I'll see you lot at home later."

"Kingsley-" Tonks began, but she broke off when the boundaries seem to shift again and a shape appeared.

A thestral soared into sight and landed a few feet from them. Bill and Fleur slid from its back, windswept but unhurt.

"Bill! Thank God, thank God—"

Molly ran forward, but the hug Bill bestowed upon her was perfunctory. Looking directly at his father, he spoke. "Mad-Eye's been captured."

The shock hit Tonks, leaving her breathless. _No._ Of all people...

She felt Remus wrap his arm around her shoulders. "He's-" She began, her mouth feeling dry. "Are you sure?"

Bill looked regretful as he nodded. "We saw it." He said, and Fleur nodded, tears on her cheeks. "It happened just after we broke out of the circle: Mad-Eye and Dung were close by us, they were heading north too. Voldemort—he can fly—went straight for them. Dung panicked, I heard him cry out, Mad-Eye tried to stop him, but he Disapparated. Voldemort's curse missed Mad-Eye, he fell backward off his broom and—there was nothing we could do, nothing, we had half a dozen of them on our own tail—"

"Of course you couldn't have done anything." Remus said.

"But you just said it yourself, you had half a dozen coming after you- maybe they didn't-" Tonks said, and she felt frustrated when most of them looked at her like she had gone mad. "We could go look-"

"Tonks,-" Bill said, shaking his head. "We saw them grab him-''

"But we could just _try_ to look." Tonks said, shaking off Remus' arm.

"Come inside, everyone." Molly said, and everyone slowly made their way inside.

Remus took Tonks' arm. "Dora, we can't do anything." He said gently. "Come inside."

She sighed, allowing him to lead her inside. She didn't realise she had started crying until Remus handed her a handkerchief. They entered just as Arthur told the twins what had happened. She sank into one of the armchairs in the room, burying her face in Remus' handkerchief. Remus stood next to the chair, stroking her shoulder with one of his hands. Kingsley appeared on her other side, sitting on the arm of the chair.

Alastor captured. The man who helped raise her after her parents had been taken, gone. The man who patiently trained her to be an Auror, gone. She was sure if she hadn't been an Auror, or if she hadn't been trained by him, she would have broken and told the Death Eaters every bit of information she had. She felt like she owed him so much.

And now he was gone. Just... gone.

She couldn't understand it, she couldn't accept it. Remus handed her a glass of firewhiskey, and she savoured the harsh yet warm flavour.

She felt responsible. "I'm sorry." She said hoarsely.

"So, you said Mundungus disappeared?" Kingsley asked Bill at the same time.

The atmosphere changed as everyone looked at them.

"Stop apologising, Dora. It's not your fault." Remus said, tightening his grip on her shoulder. "I'm wondering why Mundungus fled-"

"I know what you're thinking, and I wondered that too, on the way back here, because they seemed to be expecting us, didn't they?" Bill asked. "But Mundungus can't have betrayed us. They didn't know there would be seven Harrys, that confused them the moment we appeared, and in case you've forgotten, it was Mundungus who suggested that little bit of skullduggery. Why wouldn't he have told them the essential point? I think Dung panicked, it's as simple as that. He didn't want to come in the first place, but Mad-Eye made him, and You-Know-Who went straight for them. It was enough to make anyone panic."

"You-Know-Who acted exactly as Alastor expected him to." Tonks said, sniffing. "He said he'd expect the real Harry to be with the toughest, most skilled Aurors. He chased Alastor first, and when Mundungus gave them away he switched to Kingsley..."

"Yes, and zat eez all very good, but still eet does not explain 'ow zey know we were moving _multiple_ 'Arrys tonight, does eet? Somebody must 'ave been careless. _Somebody_ let slip to an outsider. It is ze only explanation for zem knowing." Fleur said, glaring at each of them, tears still etched on her pale cheeks. She glared at Tonks last. "Per'aps you do not recall saying-"

Tonks hadn't realised she had pulled her wand out until she was on her feet and the curse had hit the wall beside Fleur. There was a startled shriek, but she wasn't sure who had made the noise, and Remus wrestled her wand from her hand.

"Dora, what the Bloody Hell-?" Sirius began.

"I have told _each of you_!" Tonks snapped, her hair a bright red. "I didn't tell them _anything_!"

"But you admitted, you can not entirely recall 'ow you-" Fleur continued slowly, her eyes still wide from the fact an unknown curse barely missed her.

"I remember everything before that, you absolute _cow_!" She said, pointing at Fleur, her hand shaking slightly. "They knew before they even found me out! And in case you don't remember with that Pygmy Puff sized brain of yours, they didn't know that there would be seven Harrys until after the mission began! Bill said that much- And don't you think, if I would have told them, I would have told them _every damned detail?"_

Fleur's jaw dropped at the word 'cow', and there was a tense silence as the two women stared at each other.

"No." Harry said, his voice loud in the shocked silence that followed Tonks' words, and most of them turned to look at him. "I mean… if somebody made a mistake, and let something slip, I know they didn't mean to do it. It's not their fault. We've got to trust each other. I trust all of you, I don't think anyone in this room would ever sell me to Voldemort."

There was a moment of silence, and Tonks sank into the armchair again as Fred spoke. "Well said, Harry." He said.

"Yeah, 'ear, 'ear." George said, with half a glance at Fred, the corner of whose mouth twitched.

Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance, something Harry definitely noticed.

"You think I'm a fool?" He demanded.

"No, I think you're like James." Remus said.

"He would have regarded it as the height of dishonor to mistrust his friends." Sirius said with a nod.

"I think we should look for some kind of lead." Remus said. "Bill? Sirius?"

"I want to-" Tonks began, but Remus shook his head.

"You and Kingsley go home. We'll tell you if there's any news." Remus said, and Bill and Sirius followed him from the house.

Kingsley stood, holding out a hand to Tonks. "Come on, we'll go." Kingsley said. "There's nothing we can do right now."

* * *

"Harry, come back in the house." Hermione whispered. "You aren't still thinking of leaving?"

"Yeah, you've got to stay, mate." Ron said, thumping Harry on the back.

"Are you all right?" Hermione asked, close enough now to look into Harry's face. "You look awful!"

"Well, I probably look better than Ollivander…" Harry said slowly. He explained to them what he had seen. When he had finished telling them what he had seen, Ron looked appalled, but Hermione downright terrified.

"But it was supposed to have stopped! Your scar—it wasn't supposed to do this anymore! You mustn't let that connection open up again—Dumbledore wanted you to close your mind!"

When he did not reply, she gripped his arm.

"Harry, he's taking over the Ministry and the newspapers and half the Wizarding world! Don't let him inside your head too!''

"Hermione, I can't always help it!" Harry found himself snapping. "I had a vision earlier, about Wormtail, and I suppose it makes sense now..."

"A vision of what?" Hermione asked. "You didn't see Tonks get tortured-"

"No, but I saw Wormtail get killed." Harry said. "Voldemort said he let 'her escape', but would Wormtail let her escape-?"

"Mate, she's an Auror. And Wormtail is... Wormtail." Ron said. "She probably just asked for his wand, and he handed it to her. No one in their right mind will fight an angry Auror, and she was probably absolutely-"

"And besides, he was a bit of a coward that night in the Shrieking Shack, so I think the chances he'd try to fight seem slim." Hermione said. "Unless, he knew she had married Remus and was willing to let her walk out?"

"Would he really care?" Harry asked, and Ron shrugged. "I just can't believe Sirius killed someone tonight-"

"What did Rodolphus say anyway?" Hermione asked. "For Sirius to kill him?"

Ron leaned on the garden gate. "You remember when Tonks was gone?"

"No, tonight is the first I've heard of it.'' Harry said. "When did that happen, anyway?"

"Yes." Hermione said to Ron. "That's what she was just talking about, Harry, when she said she didn't tell them anything. She just got back on Wednesday."

"Is that why she didn't help tonight-?" Harry began to ask.

"It could be part of the reason, but from what I heard there was an odd number of protectors anyway, so she was asked to sit aside for this mission." Hermione said. "Anyways, Ron, what about it?"

"I suppose Rodolphus was there too. He asked Sirius if Remus would be able to smell him- as in Rodolphus - on Tonks, called her a whore too. And then Sirius just..." Ron trailed off, raising his wand and miming casting a curse.

"Where was Tonks, anyway?" Harry asked. "Why was she gone?"

"Death Eater meeting." Ron said, and Harry raised his eyebrows. "She became Yaxley. Went to a meeting, and didn't come home. Apparently she was tortured pretty badly, I overheard Mum and Dad talking about it, but she managed to overpower Wormtail and escape."

Harry looked back towards the house. "She seems... normal, for just being tortured-"

"Well, this is only the second time any of us have seen her since it happened." Hermione said. "But look at her, and Remus and Sirius, clearly none of them are sleeping well. And she did _just_ try to curse Fleur..."

"For someone trained by Moody, I'd say that's normal." Ron said, and they laughed quietly before falling into a somber silence.

"Do you think she had a point?" Hermione asked quietly, staring at the dark garden. "That maybe we can find him...?"

"I don't know." Ron said. "I mean, Bill said he saw them grab him."

"But maybe he saw wrong." Hermione offered.

"Even if he wasn't actually grabbed, he still fell." Harry said, and Hermione sighed in defeat, tears hitting her cheeks. Ron dug into his pocket, pulling out a handkerchief and handing it to Hermione silently.

* * *

Remus returned home hours later, and the house was quiet. He passed Sirius' room, where Sirius was passed out on his bed, still dressed- and Remus caught sight of a partially emptied bottle of firewhiskey next to the bed. Honestly, while he would have sighed that Sirius had managed to drink himself into unconsciousness again, he was feeling like he wanted to do the exact same.

He headed into the bedroom he shared with Tonks, a little surprised she was there at all- he almost expected her to be with Kingsley, like she had been after her rescue. However, instead of a bottle of firewhiskey, there were two vials on the nightstand, and he figured at least one was a Dreamless Sleep Potion.

He left the room, taking a long- slightly scalding- shower, before returning to their bedroom. He gently crawled under the blanket beside her, not wanting to wake her, wrapping an arm around her waist. In the aftermath of another death, he felt like he needed the closeness, to feel her breathing next to him.

It was silly, Remus would gladly admit later, that in light of Alastor's disappearance, he was reminded horribly that she had been face-to-face with Voldemort less than a week ago. He could have lost her, she could have been the dead body that he and Bill had spent most of the night searching for.

She jumped slightly when his arm touched her, rolling onto her back to look at him, but then sighed sleepily, taking his hand and shifting closer to him. He lay his forehead against her shoulder, slipping his arm beneath her shoulders as she dozed off again, his other hand clasping hers on top of her chest. It was the most relaxed she had been, but he suspected the second vial on the nightstand had been a Calming Draught.

He closed his eyes, not looking forward to the next day, when he had to tell her and Kingsley that Alastor hadn't been found.


	8. Chapter 8

**_SO, I got the idea to combine my stories "Raising The Rainbow" and "A Ready Made Spy". Some parts will be identical to the other stories, but with changes)_**

 _ **A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts you see below*******_

 _ **It's literally just a reworking of a Ready Made Spy with Kingsley and Alastor instead- however, differences ahead!  
**_

* * *

"Tonks, may I speak to you?" Fleur asked, shortly after they arrived and had given Harry their present. Sirius had been able to go to Diagon Alley and buy Harry a new Firebolt, and they were now talking about the broom together, while Remus and Tonks had gotten him a book about defensive spells(which Tonks would always deny as being her idea- books were more Remus' thing).

She nodded, following Fleur into the quiet kitchen of the Burrow.

"I should apologise for the other night." Tonks said. To her surprise, Fleur shook her head.

" _Non_." She said. "I should apologise, Tonks."

"You?" Tonks asked, startled.

"I should not 'ave said what I said zat night." Fleur said, sitting at the table, gesturing for her to sit.

Tonks sat, unsure of what to say. "You don't have to apologise." Tonks said. "You were saying what everyone else was probably thinking, I had no right to try to curse you."

"If eet 'ad been me, who 'ad been accused, I wouldn't 'ave aimed at ze the wall."

"I wasn't aiming for the wall, honestly, but my hand was shaking."

Fleur smiled softly. "Eet was terrible aim, Tonks."

"My hand's steady today, would you like me to retry?"

"What 'appened?" Fleur asked, crossing her arms on the table and leaning forward slightly. "What did zey ask you?"

"They didn't really ask anything too specific, they just wanted information."

"But, you are alright, yes?"

She was a little surprised that Fleur seemed genuinely concerned, and not angry that she had been nearly cursed. "Yes, I- I'm alright."

"I am glad." Fleur said after a moment. "And 'ow are you and Kingsley?"

"We're alright. I think he's accepted that we may not know where Alastor ended up."

Fleur nodded. "Eet never 'urts to be 'opeful." She said. "Tonks, zere are not many women in ze Order, eet is nice to 'ave someone near my age."

"I'm closer to Bill's age, you're closer to Hermione's age." Tonks said. "But I suppose it's going to be nice having another _young_ married woman around. Without my mother around, talking to Molly is..."

"Not ze same." Fleur said, nodding. "Yes, eet will be nice to 'ave someone who understands what eet is like to be newly married right now."

"I'm not sure it's any different than other times." Tonks said.

"If you could, would you 'ave waited?"

Tonks was quiet for a moment, and then looked out the kitchen window to where everyone was gathered. "Yes."

* * *

"Dora? Are you ready?" Remus asked, walking into the bedroom. Tonks was staring at the mirror, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. Her hair was blonde and curly, something Remus had only seen once before. She was, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and it hurt that she looked so unhappy.

"I can't do this." She said quietly.

"Do what?"

" _Wear_ this."

"What's wrong with it?" Remus asked, walking towards her. He couldn't see it, honestly. The dark blue dress was absolutely the most beautiful thing he had ever seen on her.

She looked at him in the reflection of the mirror. "I- I need to find something else." She said, heading for the closet.

"Dora, what's wrong?" Remus asked, grabbing her arm gently. "You look beautiful."

"It's- nothing." She said, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Dora, please tell me."

"I feel too exposed." She whispered. "I can just wear something else, I'm sure I have something..."

"Oh, Dora..."

To Remus, the dress suited her. It was exactly what he would have expected her to wear- a short, form fitting dress with strappy shoulders and a low cut back- it was exactly what he would have expected.

"Come here." Remus said, taking her arm and leading her in front of the mirror again. "You know, over the years, I learned a few charms related to clothes. I've had to patch all of mine myself."

"And...?" She asked, as he drew out his wand.

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course." Tonks said, frowning slightly.

He traced his wand along the skirt first, lengthening it so it was at least knee-length, moving up to her arms, transfiguring the straps into sleeves that went down to her elbows, turning her around so he could alter the back as well.

"Is that better?" Remus asked as he put his wand away, and she nodded.

"Thank you, Remus." She said, and then she looked down at the dress, laughing lightly. "Remus, how well do you know Muggle fairy tales?"

"If you're about to mention _Cinderella_ -"

"You know it, then?"

"The movie came out ten years before I was born and my mother was a Muggle, of course I know of it." Remus said, crossing his arms. "But I don't believe Transfiguring your dress makes me-"

"Are you saying the Fairy Godmother didn't use Transfiguration?"

"It's a Muggle movie, Dora-"

"Doesn't necessarily mean wizards didn't help make it." She said.

"Are you feeling better about this, then?" He asked, gesturing to her dress.

She nodded, smiling. She took a step forward, hugging him tightly. "Thank you so much, Remus, for putting up with me lately."

"Putting up with you?" He asked, wrapping his arms around her. "Dora, I'm not doing anything I wouldn't do even if the last week hadn't happened. I love you, Nymphadora Tonks."

"Not as much as I love you, Remus Lupin. But please stop calling me Nymphadora." She said, releasing him and stepping towards the door. "We should go, we don't want to be late."

"Don't forget your shoes, Cinderella." Remus said. She grabbed her shoes and followed him. "And, we got a letter saying things seem suspicious at the Ministry today. If something goes wrong, grab Hermione and come here. Don't ask questions."

* * *

"Wotcher, Harry." She said quietly as the curly haired redhead reached them. He frowned slightly. "Arthur told us which one you'd be." She explained, and he nodded, turning to lead them down the aisle. "It must be nice, not to need glasses right now?"

"It's very unusual." Harry said. "I keep trying to adjust them. How are you both, then?"

"We're sorry about last night, Harry." Tonks said.

"The Ministry is being very anti-werewolf lately." Remus explained quietly. "And Dora's been missing from her job for nearly two weeks. We figured our presence wouldn't do you any favours."

"It's fine, I understand." Harry said to them, and Remus gave him a swift smile as they turned to sit. Harry disappeared back down the aisle, and Remus took Tonks' hand.

"I'm sorry you never got this." He said, and she turned to look at him.

"What do you mean?"

"A proper wedding."

"Could you imagine me trying to make my way down an aisle, wearing layers of lace and heels?"

"You're wearing heels right now."

Tonks shrugged. "I can see my feet, I can stay upright." She said. "But a long dress... not my thing."

"So, you don't ever regret it?" Remus said. "Not having a proper wedding, I mean."

"I don't regret it, Remus." She said. "I love you, and even if we had waited another year or five... it wouldn't have mattered how the wedding happened."

"Do you think it was rushed?"

"It _was_ rushed, love.'' She said. "However, I decided last night, after we got home, that I wouldn't change a thing."

"Nothing?"

"Absolutely nothing." She said, taking his hand as Sirius sat on his other side. "Sirius, where have you been all day?"

"Diagon Alley." Sirius said. "Unlike women, men don't generally spend an entire day getting ready for a party that lasts only a few hours."

"It's not all day if I slept until eleven. Did you get what we needed?" Tonks asked.

"I bought anything they had. It may last four months."

* * *

They were walking along the boundaries, checking that no enchantments had fallen or been broken. Most of the Order had been alternating all night, just to make sure there were no weak spots in the boundaries. She was carrying her shoes in her hand, because she didn't trust herself not to trip on the uneven ground and hurt herself.

"Dora?" Remus asked, watching her as she stared in the direction of the invisible boundaries.

"Mhm?"

"Are you doing alright? Right now?" Remus asked. She had seemed alright most of the wedding, dancing with Bill and then with Charlie and even Sirius- Remus himself wasn't much of a dancer and gladly left her in the safe hands of her school friends and Sirius. She joined him a few moments ago, saying they should take a patrol and let the other Order members enjoy themselves.

"I suppose."

"You suppose?"

She shrugged, frowning slightly as she stared at one spot near her foot. "I'm debating on pretending it didn't happen, actually."

"Is that what you want?"

"To pretend it didn't happen, or for it not to have happened?"

"I think I already know you wish it never happened." Remus said patiently. "I meant, do you want to pretend it didn't?"

"Very much so." She said.

"Then, perhaps we never speak of it again?" Remus offered. "Unless you need to, if it starts to bother you."

"I think that sounds good to me."

"Shall we go back, then?" Remus asked, and she nodded. She paused outside the tent to put her shoes back on, using his arm to keep her balance. They walked into the tent, joining Sirius, who was sitting with the twins. Harry, Hermione and Ron were sitting together at the table next to them, talking quietly.

"There you are!" Sirius announced. "Come have a drink with Padfoot, Moony and... Mrs Moony, I guess?"

"Mrs Moony?" Remus asked, as they sat.

"I haven't thought of a nickname for her yet."

"She has two already, does she need more?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, well, I thought it up on the spot, alright?"

"That was pathetic, Sirius, even for you." Tonks commented, as something silver flashed into the tent.

The party seemed to cease as the lynx formed in the middle of the floor, everyone's eyes watching it.

 _"The Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming."_

Everything seemed to freeze for a moment as the cat faded, a silent understanding passing through the crowd like a ripple. There was a series of loud _cracks_ , and somebody screamed. Guests began to run in all different directions, some Disapparating- the enchantments had broken.

"Dora, go." Remus said, as he, Sirius and the twins began trying to place shield charms around the tent. "Go home-"

A spell barely missed them, nearly striking Sirius in the shoulder. Tonks spun, shooting a curse at the masked Death Eater. The masked Death Eater advanced on her, raising his wand.

" _Protego!_ " Her and Remus' voices seemed to echo amidst the duels, the Death Eater's curse rebounding off of the shield, striking him. There was a loud crack next to them, and Sirius and Harry were gone.

Remus nodded at Tonks, and then he rushed for Ron, grabbing his arm. Tonks rushed for Hermione, grabbing her arm. "Let me lead!" She said quickly, and as soon as Hermione nodded, the wedding vanished.


	9. Chapter 9

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts you see below*******_

* * *

"It's alright, it's us!" Tonks said as they crossed the boundaries, both carrying their shoes. Sirius didn't lower his wand, but Harry rushed to Hermione and hugged her. "I'm Nymphadora Tonks- now Lupin- usually known as simply Tonks. I'm a Metamorphmagus, that's usually the only proof I need." Tonks said, shifting her hair blue and then letting it drop back to her natural brown.

Sirius lowered his wand with a nod.

"Now, how do I know you're not a Death Eater?" Tonks asked.

"I'm inside the boundaries with Harry Potter."

She sighed. "Fine. If you're a Death Eater, at least be merciful and kill us quickly."

"That doesn't sound like something my family would do." Sirius said, as Remus and Ron walked across the boundaries, and Sirius raised his wand again.

"I am Remus John Lupin, werewolf, sometimes known as Moony, one of the four creators of the Marauder's Map, married to Nymphadora, usually known as Tonks, and I taught you how to produce a patronus, Harry, which takes the form of a stag." Remus said.

There was another _crack_ on the other side of the boundaries, and all three adults raised their wands as they spotted Kingsley striding towards them.

"Kingsley! Are you okay?" Tonks asked.

"My name is Kingsley Shacklebolt, I am one of the two men who raised you after your parents disappeared. My patronus takes the form of a lynx, I sent one tonight to the wedding after the Minister was killed." Kingsley said, striding right by her and towards the house.

"Kingsley?" She asked, following him into the house. "Are you alright?"

"Alastor's alive." Kingsley said. "I heard two Death Eaters mention him today."

"You're sure?"

"Very." Kingsley said as the others entered, and he opened a kitchen drawer, pulling out a roll of parchment. "Remus, Sirius, this house is on Ministry records. We'll use these spells to reinforce the wards, the last one on the list will erase the home from any record it's on- my file, Dora's, Alastor's. Even people who know where this house is will remember a new, fake address. Only the owners- Alastor and myself- and anyone inside the boundaries will remember. Dora, take the kids upstairs. A few spells to the old bed and couch up there, it'll be usable."

"We won't stay long-" Harry began.

"Nonsense. What place is safer than the home of multiple Aurors?" Sirius asked, following Kingsley and Remus outside.

"Alright, well, come on. I don't know about you, but I want to get changed. I'm not a huge fan of dresses." Tonks said, turning and leading them upstairs. She headed for the end of the hall, to where the attic stairs were, right between Sirius' bedroom door and the room Alastor and Kingsley shared.

"There was discussion to renovate this into a bedroom for me when I got older." Tonks explained. "Instead, they moved into the guest room, and gave me the room with the connecting bathroom- and we just haven't touched the attic since. The couch pulls out, you boys can probably share that and Hermione can use the bed. Both are comfortable, but we'll need spells to clean them up a bit. Are any of you good with cleaning spells? I'm not the greatest, I'm afraid."

* * *

August wore on slowly. After the wedding, Arthur had sent a patronus to them, telling them that they were all perfectly fine- even though Charlie had been unable to Apparate away with Ginny. Order meetings stopped completely, until they knew they had somewhere safe to hold them, and there was no point gathering all of them in one place just to say nothing had happened and risk having Death Eaters find them.

They were able to make room in the attic for the trio after a quick few cleaning spells. It later took Sirius nearly three hours(with Hermione's help) to convince them it was safe to remain there. Sirius later told Tonks and Remus he planned to find out what their plan was.

Kingsley continued working at the Ministry, staying away from the house for a large majority of the day. Tonks and Sirius busied themselves by brewing any potions they could.

The week of the full moon was tense, and none of them could understand it. Remus seemed on edge, easily angered, something was bothering him and Sirius couldn't figure out what or why. Perhaps it was because it was the first full moon since Tonks had been assaulted, and the wolf side of Remus was still feeling extremely angered by the fact it had happened.

Tonks was tense and upset because Remus was, and Remus clearly felt terrible for it. In the nights leading up to the full moon, he slept on the couch, just to give her some space.

The night of the full moon, Remus had said he wanted to leave the house completely but Sirius had already begun to reinforce wards on the basement, so he stayed.

Sirius transformed into his dog form right before Remus transformed, staying with him for a while afterwards, and then he went upstairs, turning back as soon as he was out of the basement.

Tonks was already asleep when he went upstairs and he could hear the trio taking quietly as he passed the attic stairs, so he went to bed himself since he'd have to be up early. Remus had said he didn't need Sirius with him, but Sirius suspected it was mostly because Remus wanted someone near Tonks for the night, despite the fact he didn't want to admit it.

He fell asleep surprisingly quickly, only to wake up a few hours later when someone sat on the edge of his bed. His eyes adjusted to the dark to see Tonks sitting there.

"I'm sorry." She said. "I just wondered, if you remembered when I was younger, and you and James came to visit us for a few days. And you ended sleeping on the floor in my room because-"

"I passed out after reading you a story, yes. Why?"

"Well, do you remember how I had a nightmare, and-"

"I turned into Padfoot. I said he'd protect you. Slept next to you, on your bed, all night as a dog. And then the next day, James showed you that he could turn into an animal as well. I remember. Is there a reason you're thinking about that?"

She nodded.

He sat up, pushing the blankets off. "Did you have a nightmare, Dora?"

"I know it's stupid, but Remus is gone and-"

"You didn't take a Dreamless Sleep Potion."

She shook her head. "I sometimes feel really tired the next day after I take one, so I just... don't take it often."

"Come here." Sirius said, patting the bed next to him. She moved closer on the bed, and he dragged the blanket around her before standing, turning into the big black dog. He jumped onto the bed, curling up with his back against her side. She rolled over, wrapping an arm tightly around him, her hand resting on his front paw.

"Thank you, Sirius." She whispered, her cheek on his shoulder.

* * *

"You're awake early." Sirius commented as Harry, Ron and Hermione entered the kitchen shortly before dawn.

"We need help, and you two might be our best options." Harry said as they sat at the table. Sirius stood, summoning three more mugs and pouring tea.

"What do you need us for?" Tonks asked curiously.

"We need to break into the Ministry." Harry explained.

"You- haven't you done this before?" Tonks asked. "Because I happen to remember..."

"That was when it wasn't run by Death Eaters." Sirius said. "Why would you need to break into the Ministry?"

"There's something we need to get." Hermione said. "We just don't know what the safest way to do that is."

"The safest way would be to avoid the Ministry, actually. I've been avoiding them for nearly a month and a half now." Tonks explained. "And how do you know whatever you need is in the Ministry? "

"When we left yesterday, we were able to find and speak to Mundungus." Hermione said. "He said he had seen what we need to find, after he tried to clear out your house, Sirius."

"My house?" Sirius asked. "What was it?"

"Do you remember that locket we found? The one that wouldn't open?" Harry asked.

"I thought we threw it in the rubbish, but yes."

Harry reached into his pocket, pulling out the locket. "It's identical to this, but this is fake." Harry explained, and then he looked at Hermione and Ron, who both nodded. "It's a Horcrux. We believe the real one is in the Ministry now."

"A Horcrux- do you think that's how You-Know-Who has survived this long?" Tonks asked.

"It's what Dumbledore believed, yes." Harry said. "If we destroy them, we can destroy him."

"Is this what you've been planning?" Sirius asked. "This big plan you wouldn't tell us?"

"Yes. It has to be who defeats Voldemort in the end, but I think we need more help when it comes to the Horcruxes themselves." Harry said. "Tonks, you know the Ministry entrances, right?"

"I know of an employee entrance, but Kingsley mentioned they've upped security on some of the entrances." Tonks said. "I'd offer trying to sneak you in, but I abandoned my job, I'll be arrested before even entering the Ministry."

"They'll arrest you for not showing up?" Hermione asked.

"The new Ministry? Yes, they've given King a warning about it." Tonks said. "And to use the employee entrance, you'd need my badge- and attention would be on you immediately. I'll ask Kingsley about the entrances, though, find out what the new security is. Sirius, can you help me with Remus?"

Sirius nodded, following Tonks out of the kitchen and down the basement stairs.

"Love, you're either awake and dressed already or I'm sending Sirius in first." Tonks said as she reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Out of the two of you, I'd much rather you, Dora." Remus said hoarsely. "But yes, I am awake and almost dressed."

"Injured?" She asked, switching on a light. Remus winced at the brightness of the light, but shook his head as he pulled a sweater on. "Let me guess, you're not hungry, you're just sore and tired and going straight to bed?"

"You definitely know me well, Dora."

* * *

"We have potion ingredients, you know." Sirius said, following her towards the door.

"It never hurts to get more, who knows when we'll have to stop visiting Diagon Alley." Tonks said, pulling a cloak over her shoulders. She paused by the hallway mirror, making sure she didn't have flaws in her disguise. "It doesn't hurt to be prepared."

"Want me to go with you?"

"No, we'd need Polyjuice. It's fine. I'll be two hours at most." Tonks said. "I'm sure there's something around here you can do. Bother Harry, bother Remus, I don't know."

"If you're not back in two hours, I'm coming after you."

She rolled her eyes, heading outside. She left the boundaries, Apparating outside the Leaky Cauldron. She kept her hood up, even though she had disguised herself, she wanted to avoid people seeing her as much as possible.

Visiting Gringotts took nearly half an hour itself, and then she spent another hour trying to convince both apothecaries in Diagon Alley to sell her all of their ingredients for Wolfsbane- some ingredients being mysteriously doubled in price. She then visited the apothecary in Knockturn Alley and bought their supplies too- which were mysteriously _tripled_ in price after she spent thirty minutes trying to convince them she wasn't a worker for the Ministry.

She had to return to Gringotts because of the raised prices, and this time, when she visited her vault, she took enough to exchange to Muggle currency as well. She had had a nagging feeling for a few days, and stopped to visit a shop owned by Witch Weekly's editor, lined with nauseatingly pink shelves and equally terribly coloured potions.

The one she was searching for, however, was clear. She was sure it turned some horrendously feminine colour eventually, but for now...

As she paid for it, she hoped she'd be wrong. She had been late with her period before, it was only two days so far, and it had been a very stressful few weeks. However, that nagging feeling never left, no matter how many excuses she thought of.

She and Remus had used protection.

She had been late before.

It was only the second day.

She used a monthly potion to avoid this exact situation.

She froze as she was halfway back to the Leaky Cauldron. She took a potion every month, on the first, and even though it didn't stop her period, it would keep her from getting pregnant.

Except she hadn't taken it since June.


	10. Chapter 10

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts you see below*******_

 _ **So, this is 1997- apparently, "Muggle" pregnancy tests(according to me mum anyway) were literally, Pee in a cup- dip a strip- wait(here's a list of ten things that can give you a false positive!) so I'm gonna bash "Muggle 90s" items for a split second in this chapter.**_

* * *

Tonks rushed upstairs after she left the other potion ingredients in the kitchen, heading for the bathroom in her room, opening the cupboard. She pulled out the small box that held the potions, opening it. There were two extra, just as she thought.

July's had been missed because it slipped her mind, between Dumbledore's death and funeral, she simply forgot.

August's had been missed because again, she simply forgot.

She didn't even think to take a contraceptive potion after what had happened in July, the idea had never crossed her mind. Would it be too late to take it now? What if she was pregnant?

If she had married Remus one week before the Death Eater meeting, she could be just over a month along- would taking one of these potions now cause a miscarriage, or was it all just a coincidence, maybe she wasn't pregnant at all?

She pulled out the potion she had bought from the shop, a small box that held two vials, pulling out the tiny piece of parchment that contained the instructions. She read quickly, her heart pounding.

 _This potion detects a pregnancy as soon as a witch has conceived! Simply add a drop of blood, and wait! Potion will remain clear if negative, or turn purple if positive!_

Tonks had to admit, at times like these, it was good magic could detect illnesses and similar a lot easier and quicker than Muggles could. She stowed the box of her usual potions back in the cupboard, pulling out a vial of the clear potion. She dug through drawers until she found a pin, uncorking the vial and pricking the tip of a finger. She let a drop fall into the vial, and waited.

How long could it take?

"You were gone nearly three hours, you know." Sirius said, appearing at the door. "I was about to come after you."

"Shut it, Remus is still sleeping." Tonks demanded, still staring at the vial. How long until she knew it was negative?

"You know he's a heavy sleeper after a full moon, he's going to be asleep for a few more hours." Sirius said. "What are you doing anyway?"

"I'm just-" She broke off as the liquid began to shift colour, and her heart skipped a beat when it changed to purple. "Oh, _shit_. Sirius, do you know what this is?"

"Uh, no."

"It's- it's a pregnancy potion." Tonks said. "And, as it turns out, I'm apparently pregnant." She finished quietly.

"Dora, that's not a _terrible_ thing."

"Sirius, Remus and I were careful." Tonks said slowly. "We were _very_ careful."

"Well, perhaps you-"

"The only time I can think of that perhaps protection wasn't used was..." She sighed. "Sirius, I'm going to be honest with you. I don't think it's Remus' baby."

"Rodolphus?" Sirius asked, and Tonks nodded after a moment. "I think a few of us figured out what he did to you. But, Dora, maybe it's not so bad-"

"It _is_ bad, Sirius! I'm pregnant, and it might not be my husband's!"

"We can go to St Mungo's, lie about your name, get a Healer to confirm how far along you are-"

"The problem with that, Sirius, is that the last time Remus and I... well, it was the morning before I went to Malfoy Manor-"

''When did you two have time?" Sirius asked automatically. "We were all together all day after the meeting, and the meeting was _here_ -"

"We were late to the meeting, Sirius."

Realisation dawned on Sirius' face. "Huh." He said. "Now I can see _you_ being late because of that, but Remus is usually always on time, I'm surprised you convinced him to arrive late-"

"That doesn't matter, Sirius!" Tonks snapped. "What matters is I'm pregnant, and I don't know what to do. I can't have another man's child, how would Remus feel?"

Sirius was quiet for a minute. "You need to tell Remus. He can help you, you two can talk about your options, and you know he'll support you no matter what. And you should talk to Kingsley-''

"No."

"Dora, if you go through with this, and have this baby, how will you explain it if one day- say, twenty years from now- suddenly there's a child that looks like Rodolph-"

"Don't say it." She said. "I can't tell him- he knows I was raped, but- I can't tell anyone, Sirius, I just- oh, God, I'm pregnant."

She buried her head in her hands, sitting on the edge of the tub. He knelt in front of her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"It's fine, Dora. We'll figure this out." He said.

"I stopped at the bookshop before coming home. I got a book about- about pregnancy. It has a lot of information about all of this- there's a spell to terminate, a potion to test paternity, but it only works when the baby is already born." Tonks said quietly. "Maybe it's a faulty potion?"

"I'll admit I have no knowledge of these things, so I can't offer my opinion." Sirius said. "Why not wait another week or so, and try the other one? I don't know much about- well, all of this..." He gestured casually at her. "I don't know how accurate these types of potions are."

"It said it was the most accurate one."

"So, either test that second one now, or wait a few weeks? I know Lily got pretty sick...?"

"Despite the jokes and pranks and your general attitude, you're actually good at this kind of stuff." Tonks said. "Thank you, Sirius. Seems to me like you've had similar talk before."

"No, I just make things up as I go."

"This is apparently the most accurate potion out there, so..." Tonks said. "I'll try that second one too. And if it's- if it's positive, I'll talk to Remus."

Sirius stood, nodding. She stood too, feeling a little shaky.

"Sirius, what if I'm a bad mother? What if I do something wrong?" Tonks asked. "Or, if Bellatrix finds us and hurts the baby? Hurts me?"

"You're not even sure you're actually pregnant, and already worried about the baby. I'd say that's a good sign."

She uncorked the second vial, picking up the pin. She pricked her finger, letting one drop fall into the vial. It was much quicker this time, turning purple within a few seconds.

"Well, congratulations, Mum." Sirius said quietly.

"I'm- uh, I'll need to talk to Remus, I suppose." She said.

"I'm going to get started on making dinner, I just came up here to make sure you weren't delayed by Death Eaters. Are you planning to talk to Remus now?"

"I don't know, I might let him sleep a little longer." She said. "We'll be down for dinner, though."

Sirius nodded, leaving the bathroom, and she heard the bedroom door close quietly a moment later. She walked out of the bathroom, staring in the direction of the bed. Remus was fast asleep, one arm over his eyes, one tucked beneath the pillow.

She remove her cloak finally, draping it over the dresser, sitting on the edge of the bed. She traced a finger gently along one of the scars on his chest, and he groaned slightly.

"Why do you find my scars so worthy of attention, love?" He asked quietly, lowering his arm from his eyes.

"I find you worthy of attention, not your scars." Tonks said. "How are you feeling?"

"If you'll forgive a terribly overused saying- better now that you're here."

"I can let it slide." Tonks said. "Remus, we need to talk."

He sat up, leaning on his elbows. "That's never a good start to a conversation." He said. "What about?"

"Well, uh, I- I don't know." She said, dropping her head in her hands.

She felt him sit up all the way. "Dora, what's wrong?" Remus asked.

 _Just say it, blurt it out, let him panic as much as you are._

Tonks took a deep breath, dropping her hands. "Remus, I'm pregnant."

She could see him frowning slightly.

"I used a silly potion from that shop owned by the Witch Weekly editor. It's apparently the most accurate, I tried it twice." Tonks said. "I'd only be-"

"A month at most?" Remus asked. "Dora, we were..."

She nodded. "Yes, we were careful." Tonks said. "That's the thing, Remus, you and I _were_ careful. There's a chance we- I'm hoping, anyway- that we missed a single time, but I do know of at least one incident that didn't- that there was no... preventative measures taken."

Remus exhaled sharply. "Oh, God. Oh, _Dora_. We should have made sure you took something, I saw the bruises, and I just- it slipped my mind, I didn't want to think about it-"

She shook her head. "Remus, I should have remembered, but- I don't have to go through with it- there's a spell, I can cast it on myself and it'll terminate the-"

" _Dora..._ Please don't go casting random spells on yourself."

''-but I don't know if I should, because it could be _yours_ but what if I go through this and find out later, it's not?"

"No matter what, this baby will be mine." Remus said. "If you decide to go through with it, your child is my child."

She stared at the floor, wiping tears from her face, she wasn't even sure when she had started crying.

"Dora, whatever you decide to do, I'm going to support you." Remus said. "But if you decide to... use the spell, don't cast it on yourself, if you were to ever hurt yourself because of this..." He took a deep breath. "If you decide, Dora, to terminate it- I won't argue- but _please_ don't cast it on yourself. St Mungo's might have a Healer or two that can do it for you. And if you decide you _can't_ do that, and decide to keep it, do you honestly think I'd go anywhere?"

"I'm really scared, Remus." She said. "I would be lying if I said I wasn't."

"It's alright, we'll get through this, Dora." Remus said, taking her hand gently. "And, if you want, we'll never mention Rodolphus from this point on."

"Really?" Tonks asked.

"Dora, I don't want you being upset, I can't imagine it's good for our baby."

"Our baby..." Tonks said quietly. "I think I like the idea of that, Remus."

"Do you want to talk to Kingsley yet?"

She shook her head. "I think, until I actually decide, it's better that no one else knows." She said. "Sirius knows, he's the one who told me to talk to you about it, but I doubt he'll say anything."

"Are you feeling alright? So far?"

She nodded. "It may be too early for the morning sickness, I think."

"So how did you know to do a test?" Remus asked.

"I missed my period, and then realised I haven't taken my potion since June. I was kind of hoping that by testing with those potions, it'd be negative, and I'd put my mind at ease, but..." She shrugged. "I bought a book that explains everything. It explains the spell, if I choose to use it. It explains every about pregnancy. If I go through with this, maybe you should read it too?"

He nodded. "Of course."

She was quiet for a moment. "I want to know what you want, Remus. I don't know if I want to make this decision alone."

"I'll support any decision you make."

"But that's just it, Remus. I don't know if it should be _my_ decision. I think it should be _ours_."

Remus nodded again. "Do you want to discuss it now?"

"Are you still tired?" She asked, but he shook his head. "Then, maybe we should."

"Then, we will." Remus said. "Now, what do you think the biggest con would be?"

"That there's a chance it's not yours."

"However, I'm going to say something that might upset you." He said. "That could be a good thing."

" _Excuse me_?"

"Hear me out for one moment, Dora, before you plan my murder." Remus said quickly. "There aren't many records of humans and werewolves having children- off the top of my head, I can't think of a single one I've ever heard about, and I've spent a long time around fellow werewolves. I'd be concerned the child could be a werewolf, and I don't know what would happen to you in that case, or if the child can even physically transform before it's born."

"So an infected child is another con." She said. "However, you being the father is a big reason why I'm unsure of doing the spell, which is apparently very unpleasant."

"And like I said, whether or not I physically fathered this child, I'll still be its father." Remus said.

"What I'm going to say next is going to sound _extremely_ vain." Tonks said. "I'm not excited about the whole weight gain thing, or being useless for the Order. However, bigger breasts... that might be a positive thing for you."

Remus laughed. "You know I don't love you just for your appearance, love." He said. "And I don't think you'll be completely useless for the Order. You're good at potions, you're good at healing spells and formulating plans. There'd be no need to cut you from the war efforts completely- you could still help from behind a ton of protective enchantments."

"That's another thing, I don't know if I'd want to be trapped in a house for months on end."

"So we expand the enchantments, you can go out into the garden." Remus said. "And I didn't mean you'd be stuck _here_ the entire time, you could come and go to wherever we hold the Order meetings."

"How would we get everything we need for the baby? Or for myself?"

"We can figure that out." Remus said. "If you're only a few weeks along right now, we may not have to worry for a while."

She was quiet for a moment. "I think we may have talked ourselves into keeping the baby, Remus."

Remus nodded slowly. "I was beginning to think the same."

"I wish I could be sure about how far along I am." Tonks said. "At a maximum, it's only a week difference, but at a minimum-"

"A few hours." Remus finished. "I don't think there's going to be any way to guess- before its born, I mean- about who the father is. However, even with the week's difference, I'd say you'd be due around March or April."

"Just like our parents, we'll have a spring baby, then." Tonks said, and then she felt the small smile fade from her face. "What if Bellatrix finds us?"

"She won't." Remus said. "We'll make sure of it."

* * *

The rest of August passed quietly, with only a few words shared between various Order members. No meetings had been planned, because they still all held the same concern of being found. Until they could ensure they had a meeting place that was completely secure, patronuses were the only thing that passed messages.

On the first of September, Ginny returned to school. Sirius, Remus and Tonks woke up to find the trio had disappeared as well, leaving only a note on their dining room table, saying they'd be back within a few days at most.

Kingsley was, as he was every day, at the Ministry. He still stubbornly maintained that he'd be able to find out where Alastor was being held, and Tonks just left him to it. She busied herself for most of the day by brewing potions, to make sure the entire Order was well stocked of the ones she believed would be necessary as time passed.

Remus was helping her by multiplying the small collection of glass vials they had, so she was able to fill them and store them. She didn't want to risk sending half of them to Order members right now, in case the owls got intercepted on the way- Kingsley had apparently made sure Order members knew their location.

Kingsley returned around noon, but not alone. He was supporting Ron, who was covered in blood, Harry and Hermione following them.

"What happened?" Sirius demanded, as Kingsley helped Ron to the couch.

"Ron Splinched! We were at the Ministry and-" Hermione began, her voice trembling.

"You were at the Ministry? _Today_?" Remus asked.

"We got the locket, but our Polyjuice started wearing off." Harry said. "Kingsley got to us just as Yaxley did, and Yaxley grabbed Hermione, who was trying to Apparate with Ron-"

"Where's Yaxley?" Tonks asked.

"Gone." Kingsley said. "I brought Harry here, outside of the boundaries. Hermione brought Ron and Yaxley. I Obliviated Yaxley and took him back to London. When I came back, I realised Ron was injured. Hermione healed him with Dittany."

"You can't go back there, Kingsley." Tonks said. "They must have seen you grab Harry-"

"I won't go back." Kingsley said. "I've learned all I could. Alastor is alive, but he's not being held in Azkaban. They also keep trying to find out if I'm hiding you. They want you arrested for abandoning your job."

"Technically, you _are_ hiding me. However, they can try to arrest me all they want. All they have is a fake address." Tonks said. "But what happens now? We know Ron will be alright, but what are you going to do with the locket?"

"We need to destroy it somehow." Harry said.

"You don't know how to destroy them?" Sirius asked.

"I have that book about Horcruxes, I'm sure it says something." Hermione said. "But at least we have one."


	11. Chapter 11

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts you see below*******_

* * *

Remus hadn't slept all night, and felt restless. He couldn't explain it, but something was bothering him. Possibly the news from the day before that the Ministry wanted to arrest Tonks, or the fact Harry had found a Horcrux but had no idea how to destroy it...

He heard her groan, and rolled over just in time to see her get out of bed and sprint to the bathroom. He got up, following her into the bathroom. She was hunched over the toilet, holding her hair away from her face.

He dampened a washcloth, pressing it to her forehead gently.

"Oh, this is terrible." She groaned, leaning back. "For a while, I thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad."

Remus dropped the washcloth in the sink, helping her stand. He flushed the toilet while she leaned over the sink, rinsing her mouth. "How are you feeling otherwise?" Remus asked as they walked back into the bedroom.

Tonks just shook her head, crawling back into bed and burrowing beneath the covers with a heavy sigh. Remus climbed into bed next to her.

"You know what I'm going to say, Dora-"

"I'll punch you if you say it." She said, her voice muffled by her pillow. "I don't need anything, go back to sleep."

Remus managed to fall asleep this time, and woke up a few hours later. After he showered, while he was shaving, Tonks entered the bathroom and sat on the toilet lid, watching him for a few minutes.

"We need to tell Kingsley." She said finally.

"I suppose we do, yes."

"I don't know how to tell him." Tonks said. "And then we have to tell everyone else as well. Maybe not all today, but eventually."

"Tell Kingsley how you told me."

"Wake him up while he's trying to sleep and blurt it out?" Tonks asked. "No, I think I'll be nicer. I think I can get away with not telling the Order for a while, because we're not having meetings anyway. As for Harry, Ron and Hermione, I doubt they'd even notice considering we barely see them unless they need advice about a plan or something."

"They _may_ notice in about six months, Dora." Remus said, rinsing the leftover shaving cream from his face and drying his face on a towel. "And Hermione's very observant. She might figure it out and simply not say a word."

"I'm trying to be excited about the idea, Remus."

"But you're finding it difficult."

Tonks nodded. "Very much so. I mean, I think I'm excited, but then I'm scared and later I'm nervous and I'm inexplicably sad and angry and-"

"I think we can safely assume some of that may be hormones."

"Oh, fuck, this is going to be fun, then." Tonks said, and Remus laughed lightly. "At least I don't feel all of this at once. The feelings just show up at weird times-"

"Well, how do you feel right now?" Remus asked.

"Nervous, because I have to tell Kingsley."

Remus nodded. "That makes sense. Do you want me with you, or do you want to talk to him alone?"

Tonks frowned slightly, like she was thinking. "What do you think? Do you think you should be with me when I tell him?"

"I think this has to be your decision."

"I want your opinion."

Remus sighed quietly. "Well, I think perhaps we should tell him together, because you know he might ask something you don't want to hear."

"I know he's going to mention Rodolphus, Remus." Tonks said, just as someone knocked on their bedroom door.

"We're in here!" Remus called, and the bedroom door opened and Sirius appeared in the bathroom doorway.

"You guys are just... sitting in the bathroom?" Sirius asked.

"We were having a conversation." Tonks said.

"Uh-huh..." Sirius said slowly. "Anyway, we have an idea about the Horcrux, we just want an Auror's opinion."

"Well, where's Kingsley?" Tonks asked, standing.

Sirius shrugged. "He's been gone for a while, didn't say where he was going."

Tonks and Remus followed Sirius out of their room. "How long have you been awake?" Remus asked.

"Since before dawn, we've all been looking at the books Hermione brought."

* * *

"No."

It was the only thing Tonks had said after they had all sat in silence for a few moments following the explanation of their (hopeful) plan.

"No?" Sirius asked, leaning forward.. "Dora, there are six of us here-"

"Still..." Tonks said. "Fiendfyre is way too difficult to control. Even lighting it _in_ the fireplace is too risky."

"It destroys Horcruxes though, it says right here." Sirius said.

"Yeah, but here's the thing- it's extremely difficult to control, and I'd rather you didn't burn my house down." Tonks responded. "So, I'm going to say no, you can't use Fiendfyre in my fireplace. _However_ , if you'd like to find a Death Eater's house and burn that down, feel free."

"Is there any way to contain it to one area?" Harry asked.

"Probably, but it's also really Dark Magic." Tonks said. "Like I said, find a Death Eater's house, have at it, but I kind of like this house. What are the other ways to destroy a Horcrux?"

"Well..." Hermione said slowly. "Harry destroyed one once, without Fiendfyre."

"How?" Remus asked.

"A Basilisk fang." Hermione said.

"Are you telling me you _have_ a Basilisk fang?" Harry asked, but Hermione shook her head.

"It doesn't necessarily have to be a Basilisk fang. Just something so destructive that it can't repair itself." Hermione said. "Which would be Fiendfyre, a Basilisk fang, just something really destructive-"

"A Killing Curse?" Tonks offered.

"Well, it's not alive, is it? So I doubt that'd work." Sirius replied.

"So, we've got a Horcrux and no way to destroy it." Tonks said. "Other than the option that would risk this house."

"What if we try it outside?" Ron asked.

"Fiendfyre is still going to spread like, well, fire. No matter where you are." Tonks said. "So, why don't we find out when and where the next Death Eater meeting is, and use Fiendfyre to destroy it there? Takes care of more than one problem, yeah?"

Remus sighed. "Dora..."

"Given the chance, I'm sure they'd do the same." Tonks said, and she saw Hermione nod slightly.

"Let's keep researching." Hermione said, picking up the book and walking into the kitchen. Ron and Harry followed, as the door opened and Kingsley entered.

"Kingsley Shacklebolt, attended Hogwarts starting in 1959- three years above Andromeda Black and Ted Tonks, who later named me and my partner godparents to their newborn daughter, for reasons I will never understand, considering we barely spoke a single word to each other-"

"Well, I love you too." Tonks said.

"Alastor's at the Malfoys." Kingsley said, and Tonks' eyes widened.

"You know where he is? And you know, for sure, that he's alive?"

"Yes, and yes." Kingsley said. "Dawlish overheard talk about Malfoy Manor, and he overhead something about Alastor. He told me. Apparently, there are a few people being held there-"

"Well, what do we do?" Sirius asked.

"I want to try to get him out of there. The others too." Kingsley said. "Maybe if we can get the rest of the Order involved-"

"Kingsley, that's a suicide mission." Remus said slowly. "Malfoy Manor seems to be the Death Eater's main meeting point. To go in there,-"

"It's impossible anyway. None of us have a Dark Mark." Tonks said. "And to get through the gate-"

"You don't have a Dark Mark, yet you got through the gate." Kingsley said.

"I was passing through at the same moment as Snape, I can assume that's the only reason I could pass- and besides, a lot of good that did me, I nearly died!" Tonks snapped, standing. She couldn't exactly tell whether she was genuinely annoyed, or if she was simply lashing out because she had been refraining from doing so over the last few weeks.

"This is for a good reason, we don't know how much longer Alastor will have-"

"He's probably telling them enough information to keep himself alive, you must know how he operates by now." Tonks said. "Kingsley, he wouldn't want us to risk the entire Order- or even ourselves- on a mission that has no chance of going in our favour."

Kingsley sighed. "If we had known how to pass the gate, you know we both would have come for you. Wouldn't you want to do the same for us?"

"That's not fair." Tonks said, tears stinging her eyes. "Kingsley, I am so sorry, but I can't risk my life like this. You and Alastor are the only parents I've ever known, my only family is here with you two and Sirius and Remus, and I would do anything in my power if it meant I didn't have to lose any of you- but I can't- I have someone else to think of now."

"You mean Remus?" Kingsley asked.

She shook her head. "No, not Remus." She said. "Kingsley, I'm pregnant."

Kingsley stared at her. "Pregnant...?"

"As in, I'm going to have a baby."

"When were you going to tell me?" Kingsley asked.

"I technically just did." Tonks said quietly. "I found out a couple of weeks ago."

Kingsley closed the distance between them, hugging her. It caught her off guard at first, but she returned the hug. "When?" Kingsley asked. "When are you due?"

"Well..." She said, as he stepped back. "We're not entirely sure. Late March, maybe? April? I don't know."

"You don't know?" Kingsley asked, frowning slightly.

"Well, we can _guess_ , but it may not be accurate- I was married to Remus for about a week before I went to that meeting, and we haven't- _been together_ since, and then there's-"

"Rodolphus." Kingsley said quietly, and she nodded.

"It's possibly only a week more or less, I can only guess based on that." She said. "I can still help the Order, I can brew potions and-"

"The fumes can't be good for you." Kingsley said immediately.

"I have a stupid book about this stuff, it doesn't say I need to avoid fumes from potions. I just need to avoid taking certain ones." Tonks said. "Kingsley, we'll find a way to get Alastor back, but you know-"

"I know, he's probably telling them enough information to keep himself alive without putting any of us in real danger." Kingsley said. "And I agree, while we wouldn't have hesitated to do something recklessly dangerous to get you back if we had known exactly where you were, he'd be infuriated if you or I did something recklessly dangerous to get him back."

"Right." She said. "However, there's probably nothing stopping us from- oh, I don't know- capturing some of them in return? If they're willing to capture and torture, or capture and kill, us... why aren't we doing the same to them?"

"We're not murderers." Remus said.

"It's not murder. It's survival. Isn't that what this is about?" Tonks asked. "We need to survive, we need to defeat You-Know-Who, and Harry has an idea on _how_ to do that, but if we're getting captured and tortured and killed and beaten and raped and all the worst things- without even _trying_ to at least take out some of their side, what is the bloody point of the Order?"

"The point of the Order is to end this war." Kingsley said patiently. "We can't sink to their level-"

"How are we going to end a war when we are going to be forever outnumbered unless we start treating them like they treat us?" Tonks asked. "Most of the Order is _hiding_. Those of us who aren't, are lying and saying they're not part of the Order. We are terribly outnumbered, and people are too afraid to join the fight because they know it too."

"You know, I hate to say it, but maybe she's right." Sirius said. "Maybe it's time to think about holding more meetings, and trying to find a way to stop Death Eater activity wherever we can. If we can stop some of their activity, we may be able to save some lives."


	12. Chapter 12

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

* * *

By October, tension was mounting. Hermione knew that Harry hated that no new progress had been made, and Sirius had taken to leaving daily to spy in Diagon Alley or any other area he could think of, listening for news.

No Order meeting had been planned yet, and Kingsley still disappeared daily as well- claiming that he was doing the same as Sirius. Tonks and Remus kept to themselves unless they were asked about something or if Order related business came up, but even then, Hermione noticed Tonks seemed to be shying away from any bit of Order related business- and they barely saw her anyway, she always seemed to be in her bedroom, which didn't seem to bother Remus or Sirius, who had gone to Diagon Alley together today.

Hermione spent all day, every day, pouring over her books with Harry and Ron and they revisited the same ideas over and over. Arguments had begun to spring up in between Ron and Harry, each argument more heated than the last.

"You two have been arguing all week! Enough, already!" Hermione snapped, standing between the two of them.

"I'm just saying-"

"Ron, I _don't care_!" Hermione said. "We can't be fighting right now! I know you miss your family, Ron, we _all_ have people we miss right now! But we need to find the Horcruxes. The Order is still around, and I'm sure if there's another meeting, your family will be there."

"I'm just saying, it must be easy for Harry-"

"Easy for me?" Harry demanded. "Sirius is gone _all day_ , spying for us, and hoping he simply doesn't get caught because we won't have more Polyjuice Potion for another _week_ and-"

"Sirius is the best option we have, he's the only one who can safely come and go, he knows how to avoid being caught-" Hermione began.

"And at least you see him!" Ron added.

"Stop it, both of you!" Hermione cried. "I'm tired of this, all this arguing! If we fight amongst ourselves, we're doomed."

There was an uncomfortable silence as she stared at both of them, daring them to continue their squabble. They didn't seem to want to continue. Instead, Harry sat on their bed and Ron sat next to Hermione's with her, the two boys staring at each other.

"Good." Hermione said. "We need to figure out how to destroy the locket, and I think I know how we can do it."

Harry looked at her hopefully. "How? We haven't got any basilisk fangs-"

"You stabbed the basilisk with the sword." Hermione said.

"Uh, yes, I remember that." Harry said, frowning slightly.

"The sword was made by goblins, it only takes in what makes it stronger."

"So we need the sword?" Harry asked. "But-"

"It's been stolen." Ron said. "So now we have to add that to list of things we can't bloody well find."

"We just need to think about where it might be." Hermione said. "Perhaps-"

"Where it _might_ be." Ron said, rolling his eyes. "We have no idea where the sword is, or the rest of the Horcruxes, it could take forever to find them!"

"We have help, I'm sure we can figure out a way to find them-" Harry began.

"Oh yeah, loads of help. We have an Animagus, a werewolf, Tonks has barely said a word to anyone for days and Kingsley's never here- we've got the _real_ helpful Order members." Ron commented.

"Stop it." Hermione repeated. "We can't keep fighting with each other, or we'll never defeat Vo-"

"Don't say his name!" Ron snapped immediately.

"Oh, stop being ridiculous, Ronald! It's just a name!" Hermione cried, feeling irritated.

"It just- it feels like a jinx or something." Ron said. "Just call him You-Know-Who, most of the Order does."

Harry sighed quietly. "Dumbledore said fear of-"

"Well, saying it didn't do Dumbledore much good in the end, did it, mate?" Ron asked. "Just show You-Know-Who some respect."

" _Respect_?" Harry repeated, but Hermione shook her head at Harry. "Show him _respect_? He killed my parents!"

"Stop it! Both of you!" Hermione snapped. "We can't keep fighting! This isn't going to help find Horcruxes-"

"How are we supposed to find them when no one knows anything?" Ron demanded. "I thought you knew what you were doing!"

"I've told you everything Dumbledore told me!" Harry snapped. "And we have a Horcrux-"

"And we're about as close to destroying it as we are to finding the rest, aren't we?" Ron said, standing.

"Well, what are we supposed to do? Wander aimlessly?" Harry demanded, jumping to his feet as well. "We're researching, we're planning, we can't just rely on luck!"

"Planning is getting us nowhere!" Ron said. "The entire Order is hiding because they're afraid of being killed, and you're hiding too! You're the one who says you know how to defeat him, but what are you doing? Staying here, while everyone else loses their family or homes or friends-"

"You don't think I don't know how it feels?" Harry yelled. "Sirius is out there _every day_!"

"At least you see him! At least you _know_ he's safe! And like I said anyway, it's easy for you, your parents are dead. You have no _actual_ family to worry about."

A tense silence followed Ron's words, and Hermione didn't know what to do or say. Should she interject? Suggest they move forward with a plan?

"Ron." Hermione said quietly. "Take off the locket, you've been wearing it all day, you wouldn't be saying these things otherwise-"

"Leave." Harry growled. "Go back to your Mum. If it's so terrible for you here, go."

Ron didn't move for a moment, but then he nodded, ripping the locket from his neck and grabbing his bag. "What about you?" He demanded, looking at Hermione.

"What?" She asked quietly.

"Are you staying?"

"Yes- we said we'd help, Ron-"

Ron turned, leaving the attic.

"Ron!" Hermione called, following after him. "Ron, please! Don't leave!"

As she followed Ron down the second flight of stairs, she heard a bedroom door open.

"Hermione, what's wrong? What's going on?" Tonks asked, and Hermione heard Tonks' footsteps following her down the stairs.

"Ron, come back, we'll just talk about it!" Hermione called, as Ron reached the front door and turned to her.

"You're choosing to stay, yes?" He demanded.

"Yes, Harry needs our help-"

"Then you choose him." Ron said, throwing open the front door and disappearing outside. Hermione stood, shocked for a moment, and a minute later, heard a loud _crack,_ and knew Ron was gone.

"Hermione, what happened?" Tonks asked, and Hermione turned to see Tonks standing on the bottom step. "Are you alright?"

"He- Harry and Ron had an argument." Hermione said, sniffing. "I don't think he's coming back."

She closed the front door, walking over to the couch and sinking onto the cushion, tears hitting her cheeks. She buried her face in her hands, beginning to cry.

"Oh dear..." Tonks said quietly, and Hermione heard her walk over and a moment later, felt her sit. "I'm sorry, I'm not very good with this kind of stuff. I'm sure he'll come back, Hermione."

"I-I don't think he will."

* * *

Remus entered the bedroom slowly and quietly, unsure if she was awake or asleep. She was curled up on her side of the bed, but wasn't sleeping, and sat up as he shut the door.

"You're back earlier than the last few days. Any news?" She asked, and Remus shook his head.

"No new activity. Have you eaten today?" Remus asked, and Tonks was quiet for a moment. "Chocolate from my bedside table doesn't count." He added when she opened her mouth to speak.

"It does if I ate it."

"Are you feeling alright?" Remus asked, and she shrugged.

"I'm not feeling terrible."

He withdrew three small packages wrapped in brown paper from his pocket, along with his wand, and restored the packages to their proper sizes. He held one out to her, and she gave him a curious glance before reaching and taking it. She crossed her legs, and he placed the other two packages on the bedspread in front of her. "We went to three different bookshops for those." Remus explained.

Tonks pulled the string away from the first package, pulling the brown paper aside to reveal two books. " _So Your Witch Is Expecting_?" Tonks asked, picking it up to look at the next one. " _The Magical Midwife_?"

"That second one is written by a midwife, and apparently goes into a lot of details, even the not so pleasant details." Remus said. "I looked at it quickly, it definitely has _a lot_ of details."

She untied the second package, pulling the paper aside to reveal a single book. " _Magical Mishaps: What To Expect When You're Expecting A New Witch Or Wizard._ " She read. "I hope that doesn't infer that accidental magic becomes an issue again."

"For adults? I'd doubt it."

"Well, some adults sometimes do things by accident." Remus said. "It's rare, but I'd imagine very strong emotions could trigger it."

She shrugged. "I sincerely hope not." She said, unwrapping the third package to find three more books. " _Common Myths About Werewolves_?"

"That one, and the other one in there are for us to read, just so we can try to get some information about possible infections passed from father to child." Remus said.

She put the book aside, picking up the second one. " _A Werewolf And You: The Dark Truth Of The Beasts_. Sounds cheerful, Remus." Tonks said, putting it aside to pick up the final book. " _101 Things For The Common Pregnant Witch To Avoid._ "

"I looked through some of that." Remus said. "There are some that are obvious, but it's good information."

She opened the book to a random page and laughed. " _As soon as a witch discovers she is pregnant, she should refrain from challenging another witch or wizard to a duel._ " Tonks read. "Well, what should I do with my Monday afternoons now?"

"Perhaps a friendly, definitely non-violent game of Quidditch?" Remus asked.

"No, that's in here too." She said, casually flipping through the pages. "Thank you for getting these."

"You should thank Sirius, he helped me buy them." Remus said quietly. "We stopped at Flourish and Blotts because there wasn't anything going on, and he disappeared for a while. Went to Gringotts, took a bunch of money from his vault- also changed some to Muggle money- and said we should have the books I was looking at. Then he dragged me to another bookshop in Knockturn Alley, saying he had an idea- bought those two werewolf ones and the _101 Things_ , and then he decided he needed another book about potions, so we went to another one, and he found that _Magical Mishaps_ one."

"Very generous of him." Tonks said.

"He mentioned being worry about you, you've been very quiet lately."

"I haven't been feeling well." Tonks said. "And it's boring, I've brewed any potion I think the Order would need. And I'm just _tired_."

"Well, now you have these books to read." Remus said.

She picked up _So Your Witch Is Expecting_ , flipping through it. "Oh yes, I can't wait to read about... swollen ankles and leaky breasts and..." She continued flipping. "Oh, here we go, Healing Spells for when my _vagina tears_."

Remus was quiet for a moment, mostly just surprised that she had been so abrupt with it. "Well... sounds like some of that information may be useful." Remus said slowly, taking the book from her. He flipped through slowly, stopping on a page. "Look, spells to alter your clothes so you don't have to worry about constantly buying new ones."

"Well, actually, I was planning to take your shirts and sweaters." Tonks said. "Maybe shirts and sweaters Alastor and Kingsley never wear too. And you have a few pairs of pajama pants you never wear, so I was going to take those..."

"Yes, but you still have..." Remus cleared his throat quietly. "... _certain_ items of clothing you can't borrow from us."

"Then I use the spell on my knickers and bras, easy." Tonks said. "I don't think I've told you enough times how much I love you."

"You've told me plenty, but it never hurts to hear it." Remus said. He scooped up the books, standing and walking to place them on the dresser. He turned as she stood, meeting her halfway between the bed and dresser. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, hugging him tightly. He returned the embrace as she pressed a kiss to his lips.

"God, I love you." She said as she pulled away from the kiss.

"I love you too, Nymphadora."

"You _still_ don't have permission to call me that, Remus."


	13. Chapter 13

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

* * *

"Dora?"

"Mhm?" She asked, not bothering to open her eyes.

"You need to get up, love, the Order meeting is starting soon." Remus said, and she felt him rubbing her back.

This was what she had wanted for a while, an actual meeting, where they could discuss _actual_ problems they'd be facing in their effort to keep alive and win this war. However, now that the day of the meeting was here, she really didn't want to get out of bed.

Remus had helped her look through the books to see if there was any potion to ease morning sickness, which seemed to be getting progressively worse for her. Unfortunately, there was none. It had gotten so bad she had begun saying it was a "good day" if she could make it through a shower or down the stairs without getting sick and having to run for the nearest bathroom, and Sirius remarked on a few occasions that her expectations had sunk really low if that was all she needed to have a good day.

Harry and Hermione asked no questions about the ex-Auror's new illness, but they were hardly paying attention to anything the adults did- unless they needed help with something. Ron's departure had caused them to work harder than ever, even though they were still not making progress.

"Dora, we're going to be late."

She remembered dimly that had been exactly what he said the morning before she went to the Death Eater meeting, although their late arrival had been for an entirely different- possibly related- reason.

She actually liked the idea that their late arrival to that particular meeting was the reason she was having difficulty getting out of bed- or doing anything, really- on a daily basis. She figured she must be nearly eleven weeks by now, and was hoping the morning sickness would let up soon. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to be letting up at all.

Even Remus, who was a few days away from a full moon, had more energy than she did.

"Dora, do you want to miss the meeting?"

"No." She mumbled. "But if I move, I might vomit."

"I have an idea about that, actually." Remus said. She lifted her head enough to turn to face him, opening her eyes finally. He was kneeling next to the bed so that he was eye level with her. "Why don't we talk to Molly?"

"To Molly?" Tonks asked, frowning slightly.

"She's been pregnant a few times-"

"Only a _few_."

Remus laughed lightly. "I think she may have some good advice about this."

"Remus, Molly gets so excited about things. She'll want to celebrate or something." Tonks said. "And I don't want to."

"We can ask her not to plan anything, if she mentions it." Remus said. "She may know something that can help, love."

"I still don't want to get up."

"But you want to attend the meeting."

"Mhm."

"Do you want me to ask that we hold the meeting in our bedroom?" Remus asked, and she laughed quietly.

"No, I'm getting up." She said, pushing the blanket off of her. "I thought I'd be awake sooner."

Remus straightened up as she sat up and grabbed her discarded sweater from the end of the bed.

"I know it's apparently normal to feel this ill and tired but I just don't like that I've been having issues getting out of bed. I didn't think it'd be this bad." She said.

"That's why I suggest we talk to Molly. She may know something that will help." Remus said, and she sighed and then nodded.

"I suppose we should, then." She said, pulling the sweater over her head and stuffed her feet into her slippers.

"Do you feel like you're going to be sick right now?" Remus asked as she stood.

"No..." Tonks said slowly. "I'm not sure if I should be relieved, or worried that I might get sick later."

"Well, the meeting probably won't be too long, I know a lot of us don't want the entire Order in one place for too long, even with the enchantments." Remus said as they left the bedroom and headed downstairs.

The kitchen was crowded as they entered. Extra chairs had been transfigured, but a few Order members were standing near the walls and back door. Kingsley was sitting at the table, and stood as she entered.

"Do you want to sit, Dora?" Kingsley asked, but she shook her head, following Remus to stand near the sink. She grabbed a glass and filled it with water.

"I know this meeting is going to be short, but it's good that we can meet up, discuss new information and check in on each other." Arthur began. "First, Molly and I were wondering if anyone has heard from Ron."

Harry and Hermione exchanged guilty glances, and a large majority of the Order shook their head or answered that they hadn't. Tonks noticed Bill hadn't said anything or shook his head. Instead, he looked away from Arthur completely. That seemed suspicious to Tonks, but if Bill knew where Ron was, at least they knew Ron probably hadn't met Snatchers or Death Eaters after his departure.

"I wanted to make sure everyone knew that Gringotts has been convinced to have guards placed. They'll be checking for enchantments or- as I believe- reporting anyone who is considered wanted by the Death Eaters." Bill said. "There's still a few weeks before that's in place, I strongly suggest all of you visit your vaults before then, we won't know who in this room is on the list."

"We can probably guess, based on who the Ministry is looking for. They've just issued a warrant for you, Kingsley, and are still looking to arrest Tonks. They do know the address on your file is fake, and that's worsened the cases for both of you." Arthur said.

"Well, why would we let them find us? We know they won't sentence us to life in Azkaban, they'd kill us first." Tonks said. "Or, keep us imprisoned to try to get as much information as they could."

"Which reminds me." Kingsley said. "We know Alastor is alive, we know he's probably being held at the Malfoy place. _However_ , it's been brought to my attention that passing their boundaries and entering enemy territory would be a suicide mission- and would simply harm our attempts at winning this war."

"How do we know they won't kill him?" Hermione asked.

"Alastor knows how to play their game." Tonks said. "They know he'll have valuable information. He could tell them where this house, where Grimmauld is, the names of people helping us. And he knows if he gives small amounts of information at a time, they won't be able to do anything until they have the rest of the information. So, naturally, they'd keep him alive. It's what he told me when he was training me. If I can't get away with refusal, simply give them tiny bits of useless information. If they think you have more information, they won't kill you."

"You don't think that eventually, they'll get tired of waiting?" Bill asked.

"Eventually." Kingsley said. "That's why I hope we can find a way to get him out before that happens. How much longer do you think you're safe to keep working?"

"Not much longer." Arthur said. "They're asking a lot of questions. Mostly because we're known to be friendly with so many people who are betraying the Ministry. They must know we're technically doing that too."

"Will you be safe at the Burrow if you have to stop working? Can't they find you?" Harry asked.

"Sure they can, which is why we won't be there." Arthur said. "We're looking into changing safe houses for our family. However, while Ginny's at school, it's best we act like we know nothing of the Order."

"Posing as ex-Order members, then?" Remus asked, and Molly nodded.

"It'll be easy, because they'll never see any of you at the Burrow, and if we communicate with patronuses between meetings, we can't be caught." Molly said. "It might make it easier for us to go to Diagon Alley without the need of a disguise-"

"Depending on what you're going for." Sirius said. "I went with Remus, and we got suspicious looks while buying books."

"That may have been because of the books themselves." Remus said. "And you're well known by now, Sirius. And I don't think disguises will help in some cases. Dora had issues buying the ingredients for Wolfsbane a while ago. She bought as much as she could, but they doubled and tripled the prices because they must have figured she was a werewolf or was helping one."

"Actually, they thought I worked for the Ministry, so the Ministry must be regulating the ingredients." Tonks said. "Possibly trying to stop them from selling them, or to try to catch werewolves buying them."

"Even at regular price, very few werewolves could afford it- the Ministry won't catch werewolves buying the ingredients." Remus said. "They'll be trying to catch people who support werewolves."

"So, unfortunately, once the ingredients you have run out, you may be unable to get more." Arthur said.

"I can handle that." Remus said.

Tonks felt a wave of nausea roll over her.

 _Oh God, not right now._

Tonks ran a hand over her mouth, glancing at Remus. She could tell by Remus' expression that she knew it was obvious she wasn't feeling well again. She also knew there was no way she was leaving the kitchen unseen, or at all- the nausea was escalating far too quickly. She was sure if she moved, she would vomit.

 _Deep breath, focus on what Arthur's saying, you really don't have to vomit..._

"I wanted to also mention that I overhead someone at the Ministry mention that there's been a taboo placed on You-Know-Who's name. Don't say his name, or you'll have a dozen Snatchers or Death Eaters come for you." Arthur said. "Even if enchantments are placed, apparently they fall the moment you say it."

She was going to be sick, in front of the entire Order. Could she pass it off as stress? Food poisoning? Poisoning in general?

She spun towards the sink just as she felt bile rise in her throat. Her fingers clutched the side of the sink so tightly, her knuckles were almost white. She was grateful that she had given up morphing for the last few weeks so that her hair was always long enough to keep constantly tied back- vomit in her hair once was more than enough.

She hadn't eaten since the afternoon before, and her throat was burning after she had vomited up the water she had had only a few minutes prior. She heard someone say something and felt Remus' hand on her back.

"Tonks, dear, are you alright?" Molly asked.

"Dora's just not feeling her best." Remus said. Remus grabbed a dish towel, handing it to her. "Do you want me to lie for you?" He whispered in her ear as he filled up a glass of water for her.

For a second, she debated on saying yes, but she realised the Order had to know sooner or later, maybe sharing the news would make it more exciting.

She shook her head. "No, I suppose it's got to become known sooner or later." She said, wiping her mouth on the towel and turning back around. Molly and the rest of the Order looked concerned and a bit confused, and Molly had gotten up from her chair.

Tonks took a deep breath. "Remus and I are going to have a baby."

There was a general outcry of congratulations from the Order members who didn't know- which was everyone except Kingsley and Sirius- and it made Tonks feel even worse, for some reason. The conversation drifted away from the not so cheerful war related topics to everyone congratulating them and asking questions, and Tonks just began to feel overwhelmed.

"When are you due?"

"How far along are you?"

"How are you feeling so far?"

"Do you want a boy or girl?"

"Are you excited? Oh, I was so excited every time."

Molly sounded excited when she spoke, but Tonks shook her head, tears stinging her eyes. She was frustrated by easily she became emotional lately, and this barrage of questions wasn't helping.

"You're not excited, dear?" Molly asked, looking a little confused. "Oh, you must just be nervous about becoming a mother, and the morning sickness must not be helping!"

She suddenly felt like she was suffocating.

Everyone's questions, everyone's glances seemed to make her feel extremely exposed. Molly was frowning, but Tonks turned and rushed from the kitchen before Molly could speak again.

* * *

Remus walked towards the closed bedroom door, only a few minutes later. He was unable(and unwilling) to share the true reason why Tonks had left so quickly, instead taking the blame himself.

He had explained it, and then excused himself- it wouldn't have felt right if he hadn't followed Tonks from the room. Kingsley followed him as well, asking him to do a quick favour- perhaps it'd make Tonks feel better if Remus did it.

Remus opened the door slowly, closing it quietly behind him. She was laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, her hands resting on her stomach. "Dora?"

"I'm going to be a terrible mother. We shouldn't have told them."

"Why would you say that?" Remus asked, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed. She sat up to face him.

"Because you heard Molly, she was excited every time, and I'm not excited-"

"Love, this is a very different case from Molly's." Remus said gently. "She loves Arthur, and he loves her-"

"Are you saying we don't love each other?" Tonks asked, looking heartbroken.

"No." Remus said. "I love you, and you love me. We know that. However, and I'm sorry I'm going to upset you for a moment, there is someone else involved here. That may be why you can't find it in yourself to be excited. It doesn't make you a bad mother, Dora."

"It's just... when they were asking those questions, especially Molly, I just realised. I don't know if I can go through with this, Remus." She said. "I just thought that maybe if others knew- maybe I'd realise it was a _good_ thing and it wouldn't be so terrible."

Remus nodded. "Well, again, it's always going to be your decision." He said. "If you decide not to keep the baby, I'm going to support that, and you won't owe anyone an explanation."

She was quiet for a moment, wiping furiously at a tear on her cheek. As much as he felt bad for it, he actually found it adorable the way she got so frustrated when she got emotional. He liked seeing that her feisty attitude was still there. "I, uh, feel bad for leaving like that." Tonks finally said.

"It's alright, I took the blame."

She frowned. "You did? What did you say?"

"I told them it was my fault, I had scared you with some gruesome story about human women being infected by their unborn werewolf children."

Tonks looked horrified. "That's not possible, is it?"

Remus shook his head. "I don't believe so, I made it up on the spot."

"I really love you." She said.

"Molly said she'd leave a list of things that helped her through morning sickness. So, until you make an actual decision, her advice may help."

"Can you be truthful with me for a moment?" Tonks asked. "I'm asking you to tell me, honestly. No lies, no avoiding the topic. Just the complete truth."

"I can try."

"Remus, do you want this baby?"

Remus was quiet for a moment. "Yes, and no."

"Can you elaborate?"

"I've always wanted to be a father. I loved when James and Lily would let me babysit Harry so they could sneak out of the house for a couple of hours. However, I would worry that my child would be infected, that I would curse an innocent child- and I would never want that." Remus explained. "I would love to have a child with you, but I'd never forgive myself if I hurt you in any way, or infected a child."

"You said you made up that story-"

"I did, but it wouldn't just be physical pain I'd be concerned for. You'd be going through months of pregnancy, _hours_ of labour, the pain and discomforts and everything... just for a child who would be ill, forced to undergo painful transformations every single month from the time its born. And I'd be the monster who was at fault."

"You're not a monster, Remus. Rodolphus is-"

"A different type of monster, but a monster nonetheless." Remus said. "No, Rodolphus didn't transform into anything, he wasn't any type of creature- he was just a terrible man. And he hurt you. That's unforgivable. And I know the idea that this baby may be a product of that experience- that's a terrible possibility. But Dora, you- the way you talked about those books. The way we sat here, together, and looked through them together, and you seemed genuinely happy _and_ excited. Sometimes when you talk about it, you sound like you have everything planned already."

She was staring at the blanket.

"So you weren't excited today. You felt a little unsure today. That's alright. As long as you know that the decision you make is the right one." Remus said. "And you know, those of us who know, we'll understand whatever you choose."

"The book recommends doing the spell before the thirteenth week, and we don't even know when that is. It could be next week, or the week after, I just don't know." Tonks said. "I'm so scared that if I choose to keep it, I may wake up in two months or even in three weeks and change my mind- and it's too late. Or what if I do the spell? And then in April, realise I regret it because I don't get to celebrate the birth of my child? Or what if I regret going through with it?"

"Alastor and Kingsley didn't celebrate your birth, and you're still their daughter, are you not?" Remus asked. "This is why I'm so sure we can do this. You were raised by a man who wasn't your father- two, technically- and they still love you. You love them. And this child- _our_ child- will be loved. No matter who fathered him or her. You asked for my honesty, correct?"

She nodded.

"I honestly believe that you will regret terminating the pregnancy, and I honestly believe you will love this child as much as your birth parents loved you and as much as Alastor and Kingsley love you. And Kingsley wanted me to give you this." Remus said, reaching into his robes and pulling out a small purple and blue stuffed panda bear. "He said it's-''

"The first thing they ever bought for me." Tonks said. "They kept it in a box of keepsakes, in their closet-"

"Along with your Hogwarts letter and a few other things from over the years." Remus said. "He told me that he planned to hold onto it with everything else for the memories, but he believed it may help to remind you that not all parents have the option- or in our case, choice- to have their own children, but it doesn't make them any less of a family. And it doesn't mean the children are any less loved."


	14. Chapter 14

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

* * *

"Are you alright?" Remus asked, as they got ready for bed the night before the full moon. He had noticed she seemed a little moody during the evening, but simply figured it was because she was still so indecisive and was running out of time to make the decision.

"No."

"What's wrong?"

"I feel like you haven't answered me properly. Do you want this baby? Yes or no." Tonks said. "No over-explaining it, just yes or no."

"It's more complicated than that, Dora." Remus said patiently. "I would love to be a father, but I'd be concerned about the child being infected. On one hand, to have a baby with you, it'd be fantastic, but for a child to suffer simply because _I_ am its father-"

"Would you prefer the baby wasn't yours?"

"Not what I said." Remus said. "I'm just saying, it's complicated-"

"Stop, Remus. Yes, or no. Do you want the baby?" She asked, and Remus sighed.

"Merlin, woman, I've told you how I feel about this. Twice." Remus said. "I feel this decision has to be yours."

"But we're married." Tonks said. "Yes, or no."

Remus sighed, frustration rising. "This is not a yes or a no, Nymphadora."

He felt bad, because he was sometimes easily annoyed by things right before a full moon, and knew she didn't deserve to fall victim to some misguided fit of rage while seeking her own husband's help. However, he was sure her sharp tone was related to hormones, and was sure she wasn't going to drop this conversation any time soon.

Tonks narrowed her eyes slightly, and he wasn't sure what had done it- his tone, or the fact he used her first name. He regretted both.

Remus sighed again. "I've told you that I will support the decision either way. To have a child, or not have one- it's the same to me. What matters is how _you_ feel about it. You're the one who has to go through months of discomforts, the pain of birth- and if it's not my child, I know you may be heartbroken. However, I will love the child either way. Or if you decide to use the spell, I will support that. I have told you my feelings. I can't decide for you."

"You're over-explaining." Tonks said. "I just want a yes or-"

"It's not a yes or no, Nymphadora!" He snapped. "This has to be your decision. _You_ have to be sure on this, not me. I can only offer my opinion. And I've explained my feelings to you, do with that what you will."

Tonks looked annoyed, and Remus walked around to his side of the bed.

"Remus, I just want an answer. A proper answer. I can't decide this without you." Tonks said.

"You want help deciding?" Remus asked, his temper flaring. He grabbed his wand, walking over to the dress and grabbed the book with the spell in it, flipping to the page.

"What are you doing?" She asked, as Remus turned to face her.

"Let's cast it."

"Remus, are you _mad_?"

"You either want it or you don't, Nymphadora!"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out, Remus!" She snapped. "Because I don't know! And you're not helping!"

"You've been trying to decide for weeks. You want the baby but you don't." Remus said. "You've asked me numerous times what I want- and I've told you. If you can't decide-"

"I'm trying to!"

"How would you feel if I cast it right now?" Remus demanded, aiming his wand toward her.

"Remus, put your wand down." She said, sighing. "I thought we could discuss this."

"We've discussed it a few times, and you seem to decide to keep the baby until you're in a mood, and then you don't know." Remus snapped. "It's getting frustrating, Nymphadora, to have the same conversation over and over, when I've _told you_ how I feel. You can't base your decision on my opinion alone, it's how _you_ feel that matters!"

She was glaring at him, her hair steadily turning red. He threw the book onto the dresser with a loud thud, turning and walking over to his side of the bed.

"Goodnight, Nymphadora." He said, laying down and pulling the covers over himself. He turned off the lamp on his side of the bed, keeping his back towards her.

* * *

Tonks stayed awake long after Remus fell asleep. He was right, it was the same conversation over and over again. They had been told about the Horcruxes but only Sirius had tried helping, and she had barely helped at all so far. Perhaps if she could decide this, she could help Harry and Hermione with the Horcruxes a little more. To expect teenagers to handle this alone was one thing she couldn't bring herself to understand about Dumbledore, and the fact he didn't seem to leave any hints as to where they may be? How could he expect Harry to do it? She wondered if Harry had thought about including the rest of the Order. Maybe if everyone helped, it'd be easier on him.

Tonks sat up for hours with two books opened in front of her. She had her book opened to the page with the spell, and _So Your Witch Is Expecting_ opened the chapter about the birth itself. She glanced down at Remus, who was sleeping on his back now, one arm tucked beneath his pillow.

Honestly, she felt like this was the best way to finally decide. The spell seemed a little harsh, in her opinion. After being successfully cast, she'd have to suffer a few side effects that seemed a little horrific.

She realised that some were similar to the aftermath of birth- but she'd be a mother if she didn't do the spell. She'd have a baby. She slipped out of bed carefully, walking to her closet. She knew there was a box or two on the top of closet shelf that hadn't been moved when Alastor and Kingsley moved to the other room that held things from when she had first come to live with them, because she had slept in a crib in their room until she was nearly six months old.

She pulled one of the boxes down, setting it on the floor, pulling the lid off as she sat on the floor. The lamp on her side of the bed provided just enough light for her to look through the box. She pulled a tiny onesie out of the box, her heart fluttering at how tiny it was.

The idea that anything so innocent, so _beautiful_ , could fit into something this small...

She placed a hand over her abdomen. There was no obvious sign she was pregnant yet, and she was amazed that in a few months her stomach would be very round, very obvious- and then a baby would arrive that would fit in _this_ tiny onesie that was laying on her knee. It felt like seeing the onesie had solidified her decision.

She was going to be a mother, Remus was going to be a father.

She closed her eyes, trying to imagine what their baby might look like. Would the baby have Remus' light brown hair and her grey eyes? Or her hair and his eyes? Perhaps the baby wouldn't resemble her at all. Or, would their child be a Metamorphmagus?

Somehow, she couldn't visualise what a baby fathered by Rodolphus would look like, only what a baby fathered by Remus would.

She opened her eyes, a slow smile spreading across her face, her earlier anger forgotten- she could forgive Remus' temper because of the impending moon, this had really been the first argument in a while. She picked up the onesie, dropping it back in the box and standing. She walked over to the bed, picking up the two books, closing them and placing them on the dresser before crawling onto the bed and turning off the lamp.

"Remus?" Tonks whispered, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"Hmm?"

She slid under the blanket, scooting closer to him. Remus wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer- apparently he didn't care about their argument either. "Remus, we're having a baby." She whispered.

"Are we?" Remus asked quietly.

"I'm very sure. I know I've gone back and forth a lot, but- I'm very sure now." Tonks said. "I know there are going to be days where I'm unsure, but-"

"I think it'll be normal to feel unsure or scared or nervous." Remus said. "I'll be honest, I'm a little scared at the idea of being a parent, but I think- you and I together, we'll be fine."

"Well, I hope so." She said, as he pressed a kiss to her hair.

The next morning, she woke up feeling surprisingly well. Molly's advice for dealing with morning sickness had helped in the last few days, but she also imagined she was nearing the end of the sickness.

Unfortunately, Remus did not wake up feeling very well. The first thing he did was apologise for the argument. The second thing he did was bury his face in his pillow, due to a headache.

Tonks managed to coax him downstairs to have some tea, where the others were already awake. Kingsley was just setting plates of breakfast around the table while Sirius was pouring a goblet of Wolfsbane, and Hermione was making tea while Harry was looking over a piece of parchment.

"Were you two arguing last night?" Sirius asked, handing the goblet to Remus, who sank into a chair at the table. Remus drank it quickly, grimacing at the taste.

"Mildly." Tonks said.

"I'm just going to admit that it sounded like someone got hit, because there was a loud thud and then plenty of silence." Sirius said. "I was debating on coming to make sure someone hadn't killed the other-"

"That was me. I threw a book." Remus said. "We've resolved the disagreement."

"You threw a book?" Sirius asked as everyone sat down, and Sirius looked a little shocked.

"We're going to blame the argument on hormones and the full moon and move on." Tonks said quickly. "Next time we have a disagreement, we'll put up a Silencing Charm."

"I am going to have to ask, Remus. Did you throw the book at Dora?" Kingsley asked, frowning slightly.

"Oh, God, no- she would have killed me." Remus said. "Or you would have. I threw the book onto the dresser, I didn't realise how loud it was."

"Like we both said, the argument has been resolved. Moving on." Tonks said. "Harry, I remembered something last night that I wanted to ask." Harry looked at her, looking a little worried about what she might ask. "Have you thought about involving the entire Order with the Horcrux hunt?" Tonks asked.

Harry shook his head. "No, because we can't even think of places they might be." He said. "It'd be pointless to involve the Order when we have no information."

"Well, I was thinking about that too." Tonks said. "The fact you don't know-"

"Did you sleep last night?" Sirius asked.

"On and off, that's besides the point." Tonks said. "Anyway, it seems strange that Dumbledore didn't offer any hints, any clues- you two did talk about this, right?"

"I've explained everything he told me." Harry said. "It's just a matter of finding where You-Know-Who would have hidden them."

"And then how to destroy them." Hermione said.

"I'd hide them behind a bunch of enchantments." Sirius said after a few moments. "Somewhere my enemy wouldn't suspect."

"But people can get through enchantments." Tonks said. "I'd personally keep moving them, or keep them close to me."

"Yeah, but if someone found you, they'd find your Horcruxes too." Sirius replied.

"True, but would they know what the Horcruxes were?" Tonks asked.

"If they were hunting Horcruxes, they would have to." Hermione said. "However, you said keep moving them- what if he's doing that?"

"He's too arrogant." Kingsley said, and Remus nodded.

"He'd expect that no one could find them." Remus said. "That he'd be able to outsmart everyone else."

Everyone was quiet for a moment, and then Kingsley spoke again. "Dora, you haven't touched your breakfast."

"I'm not very hungry."

"Dora, I'd prefer that you ate something." Kingsley said patiently.

Tonks sighed, picking up a piece of toast. "You know what I wonder?"

"Why you still live at home with your parents even though you're an adult and don't need to?" Sirius asked.

"No." Tonks said, and then she paused. "Well, yes, but not what I meant. I have a question, Sirius."

"Is it a question I should care about?" Sirius asked.

"Can you hear a dog whistle?" Tonks asked.

"Dogs don't whistle." Sirius answered quickly, and then he seemed to realise what he said as Remus, Harry and Hermione started laughing.

"Sirius... not what I meant."

"I realise that now." Sirius said. "You mean a whistle for dogs?"

"Yes."

"I've never tested it, so I don't know." Sirius said, standing and collecting some of the empty dishes. "Moony, mate, you look terrible, why not go back to bed?"

"Dora, I'm going out for a patrol, do you want to come with me?" Kingsley asked, and Remus frowned.

"What, really?" Tonks asked. "I figured I wasn't allowed to help with patrols anymore."

"Are you sure that'll be safe?" Remus asked.

"It's only for a couple of hours so we can see how the Death Eater activity has been." Kingsley said. "I think as long as we avoid being caught, it may be safe for another couple of weeks."

"Yes, but we're talking about Death Eaters." Remus said. "I don't care how far along she is, they'll still curse without a second thought-"

"It's an old place, near Hogsmeade. Aberforth's not even sure there are Death Eaters hiding there anymore." Kingsley said. "And if you really think I'd put Dora in danger..."

"Remus, it's only for a couple hours." Tonks said. "Please don't expect me to stay hiding in a house for nine months."

"It's not nine months." Remus replied. "It's only six at this point, and then-"

"So, are you saying you'd let me rejoin Order duties after the baby is born?" Tonks asked. "Or, are you expecting me to stay hidden behind these enchantments until the war ends?"

"I'm expecting you both to stay hidden starting in a few months. Once it becomes obvious that Dora's expecting, I doubt it would take long for Death Eaters to figure it out, and it won't be hard to guess who the father might be." Kingsley said. "However, for now, I don't agree with expecting her to stay indoors all the time."

"And besides, I can't stay inside forever, what happens when we need to get things for the baby? Am I not allowed to do that?" Tonks asked.

"I was thinking about that, actually. Why don't we find your old things?" Kingsley asked. "I know we kept a lot of them,-"

"But what if I don't have a girl?" Tonks asked.

"I doubt the baby would care much." Sirius commented. "But, in case you forgot, we can use magic."

"We'll have to use magic anyway." Kingsley said. "We took apart the crib so it took up less room, and because it's been twenty two years since, I doubt I can remember how to properly put it back together. Magic will be faster. Anyway, we'll head out in about an hour, and be back no later than three. Possibly sooner if we can prove there's no activity there."

Tonks saw Remus look towards the clock and frown. "That's nearly six hours, King." Remus said. "Are you sure you should be going for such a long patrol, Dora?"

"Go back to bed, love." Tonks said, standing and picking up her own plate. "Get some sleep, I'll be back before the moon rises."


	15. Chapter 15

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

 _ ***I changed the Godric's Hollow scene, moved it to October- BUT, whatever, here's a chapter that includes a longer Harry-Hermione-Sirius scene***_

* * *

Tonks and Kingsley were sitting on a fallen tree, concealed from view of the old house by thick shrubbery. They had been there nearly two hours before they saw two Death Eaters entering the house. Kingsley gestured to her and they quickly crept closer to the house, sitting out of sight of the door but close enough that Kingsley could see through the window. He cast a quick Muffliato so they could talk quietly, and he pulled out a pair of Extendable Ears. He moved quietly, feeding one end under the front door and rejoining Tonks, handing her one end. Kingsley cast Disillusionment Charms on them so they could remain hidden, and shifted so he could watch the Death Eaters.

"I'm just saying, it doesn't seem like the Dark Lord knows what he's doing." A gruff voice said.

"You dare doubt the Dark Lord, McLaggen?" Another voice, a female, demanded.

Tonks' head snapped up. "McLaggen?" Tonks asked quietly. "The Auror? He's a Death Eater?"

"It would seem so." Kingsley replied quietly. "His son would have just finished school, I wonder where he is."

"Look, Alecto, I'm grateful you agreed to meet me, but-"

"If you don't have information, McLaggen, tell me now." Alecto Carrow growled. "I am a Professor now, after all."

"Ah, your brother can spare you a while longer, it doesn't take two of you to torture an eleven year old." McLaggen said. "I have information about Potter."

"Do you?" Alecto asked. "Well, what is it?"

"Oh, no, I'd prefer to tell the Dark Lord myself."

There was a scuffle and a surprised gasp. "I'm sure the Dark Lord would enjoy the information, but you did just say you don't trust him, so I doubt your reward would be very worthwhile." Alecto said. "Now, what's the information?"

"Barely an hour ago, I heard that Potter has been spotted with Black and the Mudblood a few times." McLaggen said, and it sounded like he was in pain. "If they're with Black, you know who might know where they are?"

"Who?"

"Moody, isn't that the only reason he's been kept alive? For information?" McLaggen asked. "And we know he was living with Shacklebolt and Bellatrix's niece- the one that married the werewolf, who-"

"Is friends with Black." Alecto finished. "And no doubt, the Order would believe a house full of Aurors would be the safest place."

"Even if the address the Ministry has is false, no doubt Moody would know the home's location and any spells they may use." McLaggen said. "Now, imagine being the Death Eater who leads the Dark Lord to so many Order members, and Potter himself?"

"Why did you contact me and not his most loyal? Surely, Snape or Bellatrix would value this information a lot more."

"You know why I contacted you, Alecto."

"Well, Rupert, I'm not supposed to leave the school. Do you know how much trouble I could be in?"

"What if I make it worth your while?" McLaggen asked.

Alecto giggled, startling Tonks, and Kingsley grabbed the Extendable Ear from Tonks quickly. "What are you doing?" Tonks asked as he sat next to her.

"They're snogging, Dora."

"Oh, and I wouldn't know about snogging." Tonks said, as Kingsley gathered the Extendable Ear and hid it in his robes. "You'd be absolutely scandalised to know that I know what shagging is. Or, Merlin forbid, an orgasm-"

"Dora."

"Granted, I did stay a virgin until marriage, so at least you and Alastor's ideals were preserved there."

Kingsley chuckled, shaking his head. "You remind me a lot of Alastor before the first war." He said. "I'm somehow not surprised that you two share a similar attitude."

"You know what we should do? If Alecto isn't supposed to leave the school?"

"What's that?"

"Say his name and leave, get these two in big trouble." Tonks said, and paused for a moment. "And, you know, perhaps save our house from being discovered."

"Was the house an afterthought?" Kingsley asked.

"Kind of." She said. "I mean, I don't think Alastor would tell them, but we don't know Alastor's current condition. He could be weak, unable to fend off the Imperius Curse or resist someone looking into his mind. We know he'll fight as much as he can, but-"

"Eventually, even the strongest can't." Kingsley said. "Come on."

Kingsley dropped the charms he had set, standing and helping Tonks up. They rushed away from the house, back towards the fallen log they had been sitting on.

Tonks was quiet for a minute after they sat down. "Kingsley, can I ask something?"

"I suppose."

"What did you and Alastor argue about?" Tonks asked. "I don't think I ever saw you two argue."

"Lots of things, we just never let you see." Kingsley said. "Money was one, until you were old enough that we could both work. The first war was another. We argued about whether or not to keep you where we were or find a safe place out of country. And some minor things, but nothing major. Why?"

She shrugged.

"You don't like arguing with Remus, do you?"

She shook her head.

"It's normal for couples to argue." Kingsley said. "And you two have a few factors working against you right now. You've got stress from the war, Remus' condition, your pregnancy, the incident from July, Alastor's disappearance- no one would expect you two to be perfectly fine right now."

She nodded slowly, but didn't say anything.

"How are you feeling?"

"Not terrible. My clothes feel a little tighter today, but I figured that would start soon anyway."

"It's not noticeable-"

"Well not to _you_." She said, as the door to the house opened and they fell silent, watching as McClaggen and Alecto left the house and went two different directions. "To be honest, I expected them to be in there a little longer."

She heard Kingsley sigh. "Alright, well, we know they're using this place and have new information to go to the others with. We'll have to tell Sirius and the others to be more careful." Kingsley said, standing. "We can head home now."

Tonks nodded, standing. They walked through the forest, back to where they had Apparated. Kingsley held out his arm, and they both froze when they heard a twig snap. They turned to see McLaggen and four cloaked figures.

"I thought I saw someone when I arrived. Did you enjoy listening to us? Did you like what you heard?" McLaggen asked. "I have a feeling the Dark Lord would be very pleased to see you two."

* * *

The living room was very dimly lit as Sirius, Harry and Hermione were talking. Remus was resting on the couch, after refusing to go back to bed after Tonks and Kingsley left. He was quiet, listening to their conversation, but not adding any opinion of his own. Harry had the Marauder's Map spread out on the coffee table, and other pieces of parchment spread out.

"I want to go to Godric's Hollow." Harry decided.

"Godric's Hollow?" Sirius asked, although he wasn't sure he wanted to return to Godric's Hollow. "Are you sure?"

"I- yes." Harry said. "It feels right, like maybe-"

"But You-Know-Who will expect it!" Hermione said. "We can't!"

"Dumbledore probably wanted-"

"I agree with Harry." Sirius said, and Hermione huffed, glaring.

"It's a stupid idea!" Hermione cried. "He'll be expecting it, it could be a trap!"

"Hermione, think about it." Sirius said patiently. "The sword could be there. A Horcrux could be there. Don't you think You-Know-Who may find Godric's Hollow important?"

"No! I think it's an extremely foolish idea, and I really don't think we should go." Hermione said. "I don't see why he'd hide one there-"

"Listen, we need to find them." Harry said. "And Godric's Hollow might be our best bet."

"I just don't- I'm sorry, I don't agree." Hermione said.

"Look, Hermione." Harry said. "I think we need to go to Godric's Hollow, and I know you don't agree, but it feels right."

Hermione stared at him, and then sighed. "Harry, if you really think..."

"I think it's the right place to go." Harry said.

"Well, I suppose we're going to Godric's Hollow, then." Sirius said quietly. "We should use Polyjuice-"

"No." Harry said firmly. "If I'm going back there, I'm going as myself."

Sirius was quiet, and then nodded. "I can understand that." He said. "Remus, will you be alright?"

"Hmm?" Remus asked, opening his eyes and looking at Sirius. "Oh, yeah, I'll be fine. Dora and Kingsley should be back soon."

Sirius had to admit, he didn't exactly want to return to Godric's Hollow, but he also figured Harry was right. Maybe there was something there, something that could help them.

They left immediately, Apparating together.

Godric's Hollow was quiet. In a little over a week, he realised it would be sixteen years since James and Lily had been killed. He knew exactly where they'd be buried, and realised he had never had the chance to visit their graves. They had been buried a few days after he had been imprisoned, and he had been on the run from the Ministry until the year before, and had been immediately too preoccupied by the Order and had never found enough time to come to Godric's Hollow. He realised now, part of him dreaded it.

Harry and Hermione followed him as he walked. They reached a square at the end of a row of cottages, a church on one side with stained glass windows glittering in the setting sun. There was a war memorial in the middle of the square, a post office and a few shops with a pub on the other side. There were a few villagers walking through the square, but none paid the witch and wizards any notice.

"They'd be in there, right?" Hermione asked quietly, pointing towards the church. "In the cemetery behind it?"

Sirius nodded, as they passed the war memorial. Sirius paused as it seemed to transform, and he saw Harry was staring at it too. It had changed into a statue of three people, and Sirius felt a lump form in his throat as he recognised the figures. A man with untidy hair and glasses, a woman with a warm smile and long hair, a baby in his mother's arms...

Sirius wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulders. After a moment, he dropped his arm and they continued on, towards the church. They entered the gate slowly, entering the cemetery, where there were rows and rows of tombstones.

"Abbott." Harry read on the nearest tombstone. "Must be a relative of Hannah's!"

"Keep your voice down!" Hermione begged, looking around them, as they moved further into the graveyard.

They continued on, and Hermione paused at a grave. "Harry, look!"

"Is it...?" Harry asked, as they walked back to her.

"No, I'm sorry, but look!"

They peered down at the grave. _Kendra Dumbledore_ was engraved in the stone, and a little ways below two dates, _Ariana Dumbledore_ was also engraved. "The Dumbledores?" Sirius asked. "Did he ever-?"

"No." Harry said firmly. "Let's keep looking looking."

They continued on, reading countless names. Sirius wished he had thought to ask Remus where the graves were, but he realised with each passing moment, he was almost afraid to see the graves.

"Here!" Hermione cried, a few rows from them. "Oh no, sorry! I thought it said Potter." She was rubbing at a crumbling, mossy stone, gazing down at it, a little frown on her face. "Wait, come back a moment."

Harry and Sirius walked back towards her, but Sirius could tell Harry didn't look too interested in whatever Hermione had found. "What?" Harry asked.

"Look at this!" Hermione said, pointing to the grave.

It was extremely old, so weathered that the name was barely readable. Hermione pointed to the symbol beneath it. "That's the mark in the book!" She said.

They peered at the mark. The stone was so worn that it was hard to make out what was engraved there, though there did seem to be a triangular mark beneath the nearly illegible name.

"Yeah… it could be…" Harry offered slowly. Hermione lit her wand and pointed it at the name on the headstone.

"It says Ig—Ignotus, I think…" She said slowly.

"I'm going to keep looking for my parents, all right?" Harry said, sounding a little annoyed.

It was getting darker quickly, and Sirius wondered how long they had been looking before Hermione spoke again. "Here. They're here."

This time, it was obvious she meant James and Lily. Sirius and Harry walked over, and Sirius could feel dread settling in. Here it was. They stood quietly, staring at the stone, staring at the two names engraved in the stone.

 _JAMES POTTER_  
 _BORN 27 MARCH 1960_  
 _DIED 31 OCTOBER 1981_  
 _LILY POTTER_  
 _BORN 30 JANUARY 1960_  
 _DIED 31 OCTOBER 1981_  
 _The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death._

" _The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death_." Harry read quietly. "Isn't that a Death Eater idea? Why is that here?"

"That's not what it means." Sirius said. "It means... well, living beyond death."

Harry was quiet, staring at the stone. Sirius felt tears in his eyes, as he stared at the grave as well. Did James and Lily know? Did they know it had been sixteen years, but Harry was still here? And now, Sirius and Harry were finally here, finally standing before the grave.

Sirius stared at the ground, well aware that below this cold hard ground, James and Lily were resting. The man he knew as a brother, the woman he knew as a sister, nothing but bones by now.

He wrapped an arm around Harry again, who had tears on his cheeks that he made no attempt to conceal or wipe away. Hermione was the only one who moved, lifting her wand and moving it in a neat circle, a wreath of flowers appearing on the grave.


	16. Chapter 16

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

* * *

"Stop." Hermione said. "There's someone watching us."

Sirius drew out his wand immediately, Hermione and Harry pulling their wands out too. "Are you sure?" Sirius asked.

"I saw someone move, I could have sworn." Hermione said.

"It's a cat." Harry said quickly. "Or a bird. Let's go."

They left the graveyard quickly. "This way." Sirius said, leading them towards a lane of cottages.

"Sirius, where...?" Hermione began to ask.

"Just trust me." Sirius said.

"Is Bathilda Bagshot's house this way?" Harry asked.

"I don't know. That's not where I'm taking you." Sirius said, as they walked towards the end of the lane they were heading down. Harry seemed to realise what the dark mass at the end of the lane was, and sped up, dragging Hermione with him. Sirius followed him, approaching James and Lily's house for the first time in sixteen years.

 _Sirius was running towards the house, eyes focused on smoke billowing from the upper floor._

 _No, please, not James and Lily._

 _Oh God, what about Harry?_

 _He ran over debris on the lawn, the only sound he could hear was his motorbike behind him. He rushed through the destroyed front door, and he froze. James was sprawled out on the floor in the hallway, his glasses crooked on his face, his eyes unfocused._

 _He fell to his knees. "James, James, no-" He reached for James, but couldn't touch him. He couldn't feel the coldness of James' flesh. No, this wasn't real._

 _James couldn't be dead._

 _"Lily." Sirius said, jumping to his feet. "Lily!"_

 _He ran upstairs, yelling her name._

 _Please, not Lily too. Please._

 _The smoke was coming from the nursery, but the smoke was clearing quickly. "Lily!" Sirius yelled, and then he froze. Sirius could see Lily's hand, and couldn't move. She was dead._

 _They were all dead._

 _He had trusted Peter, they had all trusted Peter._

 _And now, James and Lily and Harry were all dead. He felt anger rising, letting out a scream of rage. Peter betrayed them._

 _Their best friend had sold James and Lily to Voldemort. He heard a noise and froze. Was Voldemort still here? Was it Peter?_

 _"Who's there?" He demanded, pulling his wand out. "Show yourself!"_

 _He heard the noise again, and then realised what it was- it was quiet crying. He ran forward, his heart shattering at the sight of Lily laying in front of the crib. There was another body too, and a moment later, he realised that it was Voldemort._

 _His eyes flickered to the crib to see Harry, bleeding from the forehead, wailing. He stepped around Lily, grabbing Harry._

 _"It's okay, buddy, I've got you."_

"This is where it happened." Sirius said, even though he really didn't need to say it.

Sirius stared at the house. The front lawn and the bushes were all overgrown now, the debris that had covered the lawn was half buried by the long grass, the fence and gate were discoloured and crooked.

"I wonder why they never rebuilt it...?" Hermione asked.

"Maybe it's like Dark Magic, and you can't, like injuries?" Harry offered.

"A memorial, most likely." Sirius said. "A way to honour You-Know-Who's first defeat, and to remember James and Lily."

Harry stepped closer to the gate, reaching out a hand and touching the gate. A sign rose from the ground, golden writing appearing on the wood.

 _On this spot, on this night of 31 October 1981, Lily and James Potter lost their lives. Their son, Harry, remains the only wizard ever to have survived the Killing Curse. This house, invisible to Muggles, has been left in its ruined state as a monument to the Potters and as a reminder of the violence that tore apart their family._

"Harry, you aren't going inside?" Hermione asked. "It looks unsafe-"

Hermione broke off as they caught sight of someone walking down the lane, hobbling towards them. The figure moved extremely slowly, slightly stooped, and Sirius was sure it was a woman.

The woman stopped a few feet away, staring at them. She gestured for them to follow her. "Are you Bathilda Bagshot?" Harry asked.

The woman nodded, beckoning at them again. Hermione, Harry and Sirius exchanged glances, and then followed Bathilda Bagshot passed a few cottages. She led them up a path towards one, fumbling with a key before unlocking the door. She stood back to let them in, and Sirius was overwhelmed by the stench of old clothes and rotting food. Bathilda was old and stooped, her eyes extremely sunken, her skin almost transparent in places and dotted with veins and liver spots.

The house was dark and dusty, paint peeling from the walls. Bathilda led them to a different room, where Sirius could smell something that almost smiled like rotting meat. Bathilda was trying to light candles, her hands fumbling over some matches.

Harry walked forward, taking the matches and lighting the candles for her. The candles lit the room dimly, revealing the room, which was coated in a thick layer of dust.

"Miss Bagshot? Why did you want us to follow you?" Hermione asked as Harry looked at picture frames on the mantle.

"Miss Bagshot? Do you know this man?" Harry asked, grabbing a frame and turning to Bathilda.

"Harry, what are you-" Sirius began.

"This man is the thief who stole from Gregorovitch! Miss Bagshot, do you know who this man is?" Harry asked.

Bathilda shuffled forward a few steps, cocking her head towards the hallway.

"Do you want us to leave?" Sirius asked, and she shook her head. Bathilda stared at Harry, and then gestured to herself and to him and then the ceiling.

"I think she wants me to go with her." Harry said.

"No." Sirius said. "Not alone."

"It's fine, maybe Dumbledore wanted her to give the sword to me only." Harry said. "I'll go with her."

Bathilda headed for the stairs slowly, Harry following her. Sirius wanted to follow, but didn't want to upset Bathilda. If Dumbledore had asked her to do something for only Harry, he didn't want her taking back her promise if he got in the way.

"Sirius, I don't like this." Hermione said quietly. "Something seems wrong."

Sirius didn't want to admit that he had been thinking the same thing. He was wondering if he should have followed them, what if this was a trap?

Then again, how would Death Eaters know to place a trap?

There was a loud bang from upstairs, and the two of them immediately drew their wands.

"Harry?" Hermione called, as they ran for the stairs.

"He's coming!" Harry yelled as there was another bang. Sirius smashed the closed door open, just as Harry jumped across the bed, the large snake lunging after him. Harry collided with Hermione, who shrieked. The snake reared back, and Sirius reached for Harry and Hermione just as Hermione cast a Blasting Charm at the snake. They Apparated just as the charm bounced back towards them.

They appeared outside the boundaries of the home and Sirius realised Harry had passed out.

"Inside." Sirius said to Hermione, picking Harry up.

Sirius carried Harry into the house, dropping him onto the couch a little rougher than he intended. Hermione disappeared into the kitchen as Sirius pulled up Harry's sleeve, digging through Hermione's bag for the Dittany.

"Stand aside, you silly girl... stand aside now." Harry muttered, and Sirius froze.

"Harry?" Sirius asked, as Harry began tossing and turning. Sirius realised that Harry's skin was clammy, and he wondered if it had something to do with the snake's venom.

"This is my last warning-"

"Harry, it's alright, you're safe." Sirius said as Hermione reappeared. He took the rag from Hermione. "Go find Dora or Kingsley, they should be back by now, they might be upstairs. They might know how to treat the bite."

Hermione nodded, heading upstairs.

"Harry? Can you hear me?" Sirius asked, wiping sweat from Harry's face.

Harry twitched in his sleep, turning his face away from Sirius' hand.

"Sirius, there's no one here!" Hermione called as she ran back down the stairs.

"No..." Harry muttered, and Sirius turned to Harry again, but now he was wondering where Tonks and Kingsley were.

Sirius grabbed Harry's arm, dropping Dittany on the bite. It healed over partially, but it would have to work.

"No... I dropped it..." Harry muttered.

"Harry, it's alright." Hermione said, walking forward. Sirius debated on using the Reviving Spell on Harry, and then Harry's eyes opened.

"Harry, are you alright?" Sirius asked, straightening up while Harry sat up.

"Yes." Harry said, but Sirius wasn't convinced. "What happened?"

"Bathilda was the snake." Hermione said. "She- the snake attacked us."

"We got away." Harry said, and Sirius nodded. "I'm sorry, I thought if we went to Godric's Hollow... I thought there'd be something there."

"It's not your fault." Sirius said. "We agreed to go. Are you sure you're alright?"

"Where's my wand?" Harry asked, ignoring Sirius' question. Sirius and Hermione exchanged looks. "Where is it?" Harry asked again.

"Broken." Sirius said. "Hermione cast a Blasting Charm, it ricocheted, but we got out."

"I really thought Dumbledore would have left the sword there for you." Hermione said.

Harry was quiet. "I- I am glad we went to see Mum and Dad." He said. "Even if there was nothing to help us against Vol- You Know Who."

Sirius looked at his watch. "The moon rose a while ago, I don't understand why Dora isn't here. She said she'd be back."

"You don't think something happened?" Hermione asked. "Or maybe, they came back and had to go somewhere else?"

Sirius was quiet for a moment. "Remus would know, but- well, unfortunately, he can't exactly tell us." Sirius said. "I just hope they're alright."

* * *

They were bound together, back to back. McLaggen had made no effort to summon Voldemort, instead he and the four hooded Death Eaters seemed more interested in gaining information that they could use to gain favour in Voldemort's eyes.

Kingsley had to admit, he was relieved they hadn't summoned Voldemort yet. The sooner the Death Eaters summoned him, the sooner they'd die. At least he could try to figure out an escape route. He could feel Tonks' hands against his, and was wondering why she was moving her hands so much. He got his answer a moment later when one of her nails scratched his wrist.

The ropes were far too tight for them to wiggle their hands free, but they probably weren't impossible to cut, and if Tonks could morph her nails sharp enough...

McLaggen and the cloaked Death Eaters left the room, and Kingsley was sure they had gone to summon Voldemort. It had been hours and both of them had refused to answer anything.

"I can't get the ropes on my wrist." Tonks whispered as soon as the door shut behind the Death Eaters. "And I don't think my nails are sharp enough for the ropes on yours."

"I'm so sorry, Dora." Kingsley said.

"What? For what? This isn't your fault." Tonks said.

"I'm the one who asked you to join me today." Kingsley said.

"King, I'm not mad at you. I don't blame you."

Kingsley was quiet for a moment. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course."

"I'm sorry for what I'm about to do."

"What are you about to do?" Tonks asked, as Kingsley shifted his hands, the ropes rubbing against his wrist. He did feel bad for what he was about to do, but if he could at least get her ropes off of her wrists, she could either escape or untie him. He focused on conjuring a small amount of flames, feeling the heat in his palm. The heat intensified and he heard Tonks gasp in pain.

 _Just the ropes, only burn the ropes._

He pulled the flames away when he felt her hands pull away. "Are your wrists free?" He asked.

"Yes."

"Can you untie mine without moving?" Kingsley asked. "If they come back, you need to make sure it looks like your hands are still tied."

He could feel her hands pulling at the ropes on his wrist, and a few seconds later, felt them loosen. "Now what?" She asked.

"We need our wands." Kingsley said.

"Are you mad? McLaggen has them!"

Kingsley shushed her, just as the door opened and a cloaked Death Eater walked in, closing the door behind them. Kingsley could see the Death Eater holding their wand, but their grip wasn't very tight. He could potentially overpower the Death Eater and take the wand, but would they be able to escape?

Kingsley jumped to his feet, running at the Death Eater, wrestling the wand from their hand. Tonks jumped to her feet as well, knocking the Death Eater against the wall, her arm across their throat. Tonks grabbed the front of the Death Eater's robe, pulling them forward and cracking their head against the wall before they could fight back.

The Death Eater slumped to the ground, unconscious. Kingsley grabbed the hood of the cloak, pulling the mask away. "Stan Shunpike?" Tonks asked. "Since when is he...?"

"Probably Imperiused." Kingsley said. "Leave him, we need to go."

Tonks nodded, stepping away from Stan. "Can we Apparate?"

Kingsley took her hand, Apparating. It worked, and they reappeared outside the boundaries of their home. "They didn't think to set up anti-Apparition wards." Kingsley said, and then he laughed slightly. "My God, wouldn't that be the first thing someone should do?"

"One would think, but I don't think they're too smart." She said.

"Good thing too." Kingsley said. "Dora, it's done. You can't do Order missions anymore. I shouldn't have asked you to join me today."

"What? But, I can help!"

"It's too dangerous." Kingsley said, as they walked towards the house. "You could have been hurt today. As it is, you no longer have a wand."

"But I have my spare dueling wand-"

"It's too dangerous, Dora."

"The _war_ is dangerous, Kingsley." Tonks said. "I'm already in danger just for being alive!"

"You can't keep putting yourself in danger, Nymphadora! I understand that today was my fault, but this has to be the last patrol you do."

"I'm still an Order member!"

"Yes, but you can't be an active member. No patrols, not wandering. You stay here, stay safe-"

"Stay hidden?" Tonks demanded.

"Nymphadora, it's not only you. Remember? That's what you told me." Kingsley said. "Your parents wouldn't want-"

"Oh my God, I _know_!" She snapped. "That's always your response, but quite frankly, who cares what they'd want? They're dead!"

"Dora."

"What about what _I_ want? I want to fight You-Know-Who and Death Eaters-"

"And that's a problem! You can't fight while pregnant, you can't leave your baby to go fight! Are you really willing to put your child through what you went through? To leave them behind, with no parents, and to just _hope_ that your child will end up in the care of someone who can- and is willing to- properly care for them?"

"Willing to?" Tonks asked. "Kingsley, you make it sound like this was forced upon you."

"It was." Kingsley said. "We had never spoken a single word to Ted or Andromeda, not until they came to the Order because of Andromeda's family-"

"Well I'm sorry, maybe you should have handed me over to the Malfoys!"

"If we had, you'd be dead."

"Well, I'm _sorry_ that keeping me alive is such a _hassle_." Tonks spat. "You should have still handed me over, could have saved you two a lot of trouble-"

"Yes, it was a hassle. But not because we were protecting you." Kingsley said. "It was a hassle because we had to wake up at three in the morning to feed you, or because we got letters every few weeks because you broke another rule at school. And trust me, it was a _huge hassle_ when we both worked extremely hard to make sure you could make it through Auror training like you wanted to. And let's not even talk about how much of a hassle it is to lay awake every night, hoping that you can survive this war."

Tonks was quiet, staring at him, so Kingsley spoke again. "You were the only chance we got to be parents. If Ted and Andromeda hadn't come to the Order for help, we would have never known to check on them. You would have never been found in time." Kingsley said. "So next time you want to say we didn't have to suffer the hassle of raising you, remember that we chose to."


	17. Chapter 17

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

* * *

The rest of October and the first week of November passed quietly, the weather becoming progressively colder and the hunt for the Horcruxes once again stalling. Sirius, Harry and Hermione left for a few days at a time, traveling everywhere they could think of as a possible hiding spot.

However, Harry was getting annoyed again that they couldn't make any progress. They had just spent a few days searching for the orphanage Voldemort had been raised in, with no luck. It had been torn down and an office building had been erected in its place. They had returned to the house feeling defeated.

Some nights, he couldn't sleep, so he'd leave the attic and walk around the backyard for hours until the pain in his scar intensified or went away. He found walking around the dark backyard in the cold helped, the sharp November wind stinging his skin in the early hours of the morning.

Right now, his scar was burning terribly, and he barely made it outside before it felt like his scar ripped open and he was staring at the marble floor of a dark room.

 _He looked up, watching the scene before him. McLaggen had admitted his failure in keeping two Order members captive, and had paid the price with his life. However, it was useful to know that Potter had been spotted with Sirius Black, who had also been spotted with Remus Lupin a few weeks prior._

 _Voldemort never regretted his actions, and definitely felt that his decision to keep Alastor Moody alive was working well. He'd know the true location of his own house, and it was easy to guess that if Black had been with Lupin and Potter had been Black as well, they were all together._

 _"Where are they hiding?" Bellatrix demanded, leaning over Moody._

 _"I wouldn't know, I've been here." Moody replied._

 _He was not amused, he realised. The Auror's refusal to answer anything was beginning to infuriate him, perhaps he had outlived his usefulness. However, the old Auror would know where his own house was, and if it had been confirmed that Potter was there..._

 _"Perhaps, Alastor, we can make an arrangement." Voldemort said, walking slowly over to the pair in the center of the room. "Perhaps, exchange Nymphadora's life for Potter's?"_

 _"I would never make a deal with you." Moody spat. "I wouldn't trust you to honour it."_

 _"You do realise, Mad-Eye, if we find Nymphadora and Shacklebolt with Potter, we'll kill them both?" Bellatrix asked. "And I won't be too kind to either one. Perhaps, the loss of your other eye might convince you?"_

 _"That's enough, Bellatrix." Voldemort said, raising a hand calmly. "I could grant your entire family protection. You, Shacklebolt and Nymphadora will be left alone by my Death Eaters. You know where they are, don't you?"_

 _"They'd continue to fight, and I continue to believe you'd still kill them."_

 _"Take him back to the cellar." Voldemort ordered. "We know you have information, Alastor, it's up to you on how we learn it."_

 _Bellatrix leaned closer to Moody. "I know Rodolphus had fun with darling Nymphadora, perhaps Rabastan wants a turn when we find her? Or, Greyback? Perhaps you'll give us information then? Will hearing her screams loosen that worthless tongue of yours?"_

"Harry? Is that you?"

Harry opened his eyes to find himself on his back on the cold ground, a few steps from the back door. Tonks was leaning over him, the concern on her face only partially visible in the dim light from the door.

"Are you alright?" She asked, reaching down to help him stand. "Why were you on the ground?"

Once again, Harry was mildly annoyed that she had now come across him laying on the ground _three_ times. "I'm fine." He lied, standing. "What are you doing out here?"

"Well, I came downstairs because I was a little hungry- which has been a little more annoying than when I was constantly ill, at least I could ignore nausea most of the time- and heard the back door." Tonks explained, as they walked back into the house. "I thought it was a Death Eater or something, I don't know. Are you sure you're alright?"

Harry nodded. "I- uh, I think I'll just head back to bed."

"Alright, goodnight, Harry." Tonks said, walking over to the fridge as Harry left the kitchen. He paused, thinking about what he had just seen.

He returned to the kitchen. "Tonks, can I talk to you for a minute?"

She looked up from where she was pouring a glass of milk. "Of course you can." She said. "Do you want anything?"

Harry shook his head, sitting at the table. A moment later, Tonks sat across from him with the milk and a small plate of biscuits. "Tonks, I can trust you, right?" Harry asked, and she frowned slightly.

"I certainly hope I've never done anything to make you think otherwise." Tonks said slowly, and Harry was suddenly reminded of July, when Fleur had suggested Tonks had revealed the Order's plan.

"I didn't mean- you never have, I'm sorry." Harry said quickly. "It's just- well, I've been having visions."

"Visions?" Tonks asked.

"Like the one where I saw Arthur get attacked." Harry said.

"Have you told anyone?"

"I don't want to." Harry said. "Hermione would want me to try to block them out, Remus and Sirius would worry-"

"So why tell me?" Tonks asked.

"Because I wanted to tell someone, and figured you wouldn't tell others." Harry said. "And that's why I walk around the back yard at night sometimes, because my scars hurts and I don't want Hermione to hear me if I start talking or something."

"And Snape's lessons didn't help?" Tonks asked.

"You knew about those?"

"Of course I did, I stayed at Grimmauld Place overnight quite a few times." Tonks said. "I was there when Sirius and Remus were angry that Snape had stopped the lessons. The three of us tell each other a lot, Sirius is the last surviving member of my family who doesn't want me dead, and I'm the same to him. However, I won't tell them this."

There was silence between them as Tonks broke apart a biscuit. "Tonks, do you think maybe the Death Eaters are right?"

Tonks looked shocked, and raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry?" She asked, as soon as she had finished chewing the biscuit.

"I don't mean the pureblood part, I mean the killing of their enemies." Harry said. "What if that's what we have to resort to in order to win? I already know that in the end, I'm going to have to kill Vol- _You Know Who_ \- and I'm just thinking-"

"If it comes down to it, the Order will kill. Honestly, some of us have killed." Tonks said. "However, it's different than what they're doing. They're killing some of us because they believe we're scum. When we kill, it's usually because we're trying to stay alive. However, they don't think they're doing anything wrong. That's the problem with a war. Both sides think they're right."

"Do you think the war will end?" Harry asked. "I mean, if we can find the Horcruxes, how do we know it won't end badly anyway?"

"We don't. However, you've survived You Know Who a few times now, and as long as he continues demanding that no one else hurt you, you're untouchable." Tonks said. "That, and we have some pretty strong enchantments here. The only this house will be found is if someone tells, and I like to think I can trust everyone who knows where it is."

Harry was quiet for a moment. Hadn't that been what his parents believed? That they were safe, because they could trust their friends? Harry hoped that the past couldn't repeat itself, that no Order members would be sold out to Voldemort by someone they treated as a friend.

"Tonks, I saw Mad-Eye tonight." Harry said.

"Where?" Tonks asked.

"The connection I have with You Know Who, I can feel when he's feeling really strong emotions." Harry said. "And then, sometimes I can see what's happening as it happens. That happened again tonight, and I saw Mad-Eye."

"He's still alive, right?"

Harry nodded. "They're keeping him alive because of us." Harry said. "He knows I was seen with Sirius, and Sirius was seen with Remus. And if I was seen with Sirius, I'd be with Sirius. And if Sirius was seen with Remus, they'd both be with you, and Bellatrix believes that means-"

"We're all with Kingsley." Tonks finished and Harry nodded. "But thank you for letting me know, Harry. It's good to know he's still alive."

"You won't tell, will you?" Harry asked. "I know Kingsley probably wants to know, but-"

"I won't tell." Tonks said. "And, if it makes you feel better, why don't I tell you something you could use against me?"

"Like...?"

"Something that no one else knows. Not Kingsley, not Remus, _nobody_." Tonks said. "That way, if I let your secret slip, you can easily divert the situation."

Harry was quiet for a moment. "You're not going to tell me you've been a Death Eater the entire time, are you?"

Tonks laughed, shaking her head. "No, it's nothing like that." She said. "It will, however, cause a lot of trouble if someone were to find out."

"And I'd be allowed to tell... who, exactly?"

"Whoever you want."

"Wouldn't that be blackmail?"

"It could be considered two-way blackmail, if that's how you'd like to see it." Tonks said.

Harry nodded. "Let's hear it, then."

"Remus and I are divorced." Tonks said.

Harry frowned slightly. "...what?" Harry asked. "You said Remus didn't know-"

"He doesn't." Tonks said.

"You- how?"

"We did technically get married. It was after an Order patrol in Hogsmeade, he told me he had asked someone to meet him in the Three Broomsticks. I figured it was Sirius, but it was the wizard from Dumbledore's funeral-"

"The one from Bill and Fleur's wedding?"

Tonks nodded. "We got married, but unfortunately, marriages have to be documented at the Ministry. A few days later, I was called into a meeting. Umbridge, Scrimgeour and Robards were there. Apparently, they were having a meeting to discuss if I should be sacked or arrested. They made a deal with me. I could sign the forms for the marriage to be annulled, and I wouldn't be arrested. Or, alternatively-"

"You could remain married but be arrested."

Tonks nodded again. "I couldn't tell Remus, and I never have." Tonks said. "I plan to, eventually, but it doesn't seem important right now."

"How does Remus not know?"

"You think the Ministry, who decided our marriage was wrong, would want to tell him about what they had done?" Tonks asked. "It doesn't matter to me, in any event. I still will call him my husband, as he calls me his wife. I think he enjoys doing it, honestly, he does it a lot more than one would expect. And the baby will never know the difference. If we survive the war, I'll tell him and we'll do things properly. If we don't... well, it doesn't hurt for people to believe we were married, right?"

"So, you're giving me permission to tell people you divorced Remus to avoid being arrested, if you tell anyone that I'm still having visions about Vo- You Know Who?"

"Yes."

Harry nodded. "I think that sounds fair." He decided.

"And of course, I'm going to say what everyone has probably told you a dozen times. If you need someone to talk to-"

"I can talk to you." Harry said. "Yeah, I've heard that."

Tonks buried her face in her hands, yawning. "Alright, well, I'm going back to bed." She said, standing and collecting her dishes. "We're going into London tomorrow, and you and Hermione are coming with us."

"We?"

"Sirius, Remus and myself." Tonks said. "Kingsley's going to be on patrol for most of the day, and we've all decided that leaving you and Hermione alone would be foolish, in case the enchantments fall, and I'm forbidden to go anywhere alone. Actually, I've been forbidden to do anything, really." Tonks rolled her eyes slightly, but flashed Harry a quick smile as if she were joking about being forbidden to do anything.

As Tonks left her dishes in the sink and left the kitchen, Harry realised it may not have been a joke at all.


	18. Chapter 18

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

* * *

Tonks cursed to herself quietly, trying to reach under the bed. Unfortunately, over the last year or so, the box had been pushed too far under the bed and was unreachable on both sides. She was on her knees, her face flat against the carpet, one arm trying to reach the box.

On Alastor's advice, she had made the box unable to be summoned.

Now she wish she hadn't.

"Dora, what are you doing?"

Tonks jumped slightly. "Remus, don't _do that_!" She cried, straightening up. "Merlin, you're lucky I didn't have my wand."

"I'm sorry, love, but what are you doing?" Remus asked again.

"I have a box under the bed with Muggle money." Tonks said. "But it got moved, and-"

"Darling, not to alarm you, but you are a witch." Remus said. "Can't you summon it?"

"No. Alastor showed me a charm that keeps items from being summoned." Tonks said.

"Well, let me get it." Remus said. "Other people can touch it, right?"

Tonks stood, nodding. She walked around Remus, grabbing a jacket from the closet. Remus knelt down, and a moment later, straightened up with the box in his hands. She was trying to button up the jacket, but it was too tight.

That was why they were going to a maternity store, to pick up some undergarments that would fit her the entire time(with help from the spell in the book, of course) and a few other items of clothing they'd also use the spell on.

"That jacket won't work." Remus said.

"I'm aware, I'll wear it unbuttoned." Tonks said.

Remus set the box on the bed, taking off his jacket. "Wear this one."

"You're joking." Tonks said.

"No."

"Remus, my jacket is _fine_."

Remus shook his head. "Love, you can't button that one up anymore." He said gently. "It was a tighter jacket before, and now-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Tonks said, but she ran a hand over the small bump that had begun to form. "However, I really like this jacket-"

"I've got two perfectly good reasons why you should wear mine instead." Remus said. "It's cold, and this jacket is very warm. And it will cover you."

"Remus, we're going to be going into a maternity shop, you can't honestly believe that someone won't figure it out."

"Yes, but you and Sirius are also going to be going into Diagon Alley. And while you can morph your appearance to be unrecognisable, I doubt you can morph this away." Remus said, brushing a hand over her stomach.

"Maybe I can."

"Maybe don't try." Remus said with a slight smile. "You know I love this, I think you look beautiful-"

"You always say that."

"-but I just don't want anyone being able to tell Death Eaters about it." Remus continued. "What happens if Bellatrix finds out?"

"I don't think it's obvious that I'm pregnant at a first glance." Tonks said. "It just looks like I've gained weight,-"

"I just don't want someone to notice it." Remus said. "And it's cold out."

Tonks sighed, but smiled slightly. "Fine, I'll wear your jacket." She relented, removing her jacket and taking his from his hand.

"Dora?"

"Hmm?" She asked, pulling the jacket around her.

"I thought you weren't morphing unless necessary." Remus said.

"I am. So I'll be morphing later-"

"Your hair is blue."

Tonks frowned. " _What_?" She asked, walking into the bathroom. Sure enough, her hair was turning a dark blue at the ends. "Oh."

She concentrated, trying to get rid of the blue, but it wouldn't disappear. She tried to morph a whole new colour, but even trying to get the rest of her hair to match the blue didn't work.

"Remus, I can't control this." Tonks said, and Remus appeared in the doorway, wearing a new jacket.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked.

She turned to him. "I mean, I can't change it."

"How are you supposed to disguise yourself if you can't control your hair?" Remus asked. "And why can't you control it?"

"I don't know, and I don't know." Tonks said, turning back to the mirror. She tried morphing her eye colour, her hair length, any small thing she could- but nothing changed. "You don't think Metamorphmagi can lose the ability, do you?"

"Didn't you last year?" Remus asked.

"I wasn't able to do _anything_ last year, I didn't do things I couldn't control!"

"Perhaps it's related to your pregnancy." Remus offered. "It'll be fine. Hermione, Sirius and Harry are all taking Polyjuice. We'll ask Hermione to go with Sirius instead of you going. They'll be disguised, you can give Hermione the list you wrote out."

"That solves one problem, but not the main one."

"Maybe it'll stop." Remus said. "You've never heard of this happening before?"

"There's not much information about Metamorphmagi." Tonks said. "We don't need to be registered, because we can't really be monitored, and others must be better at keeping it quiet."

"Then, perhaps it's nothing. Your hair has changed without your permission before-"

"Without my permission?" Tonks asked, snorting.

"Without you doing so, then." Remus said. "Why don't we ask Sirius to stop by that bookshop in Knockturn Alley? They have books about a lot of subjects, perhaps there's one about Metamorphmagi."

"I don't want him to risk getting caught looking for something like that."

"I agree, taking risks isn't something Sirius likes to do." Remus said, smiling slightly. She smiled too, wrapping her arms around Remus' waist.

"How is it that you can calm me down so easily?"

"I don't know, honestly." Remus said, pressing a kiss to her hair.

"When the war's over, Remus, can you promise me something?"

"Anything."

"We'll do this properly." She said, leaning her forehead against his chest.

"Do what properly?"

"This baby thing." She said, leaning back to look at him. "We'll plan it, we won't have to second guess paternity, we can come and go from the house as we please, I won't have to hide my baby."

"You want more than one?" Remus asked.

"I would like to have a few, I think." Tonks said. "Perhaps not as many as Molly, but a few."

"And what if the baby is a werewolf?"

"I'm very certain that won't happen, love." Tonks said. "Nothing we've read has suggested it's hereditary. However, you know what can be hereditary?"

"Hmm?"

"Everything else about you." Tonks said. "And hopefully, not so much about me."

"I wouldn't mind." Remus said. "Should we go? The others won't take Polyjuice Potion until the moment before we leave, it'll give us more time before it wears off."

Tonks nodded, and they left the bathroom. Tonks went to the box, taking out some of the money and shoving it into her bag. She closed the box, shoving it under the bed with her foot as she shifted the bag onto her shoulder.

"That may be why you couldn't reach it." Remus said, and she rolled her eyes as they left their bedroom, heading downstairs.

"Now, why can't we just drive to London?" Remus asked.

"Because I am the only one who knows how to, and I don't want to." Tonks said.

"Sirius can drive."

"Oh, Kingsley would be thrilled if Sirius drove his car." Tonks said. "I wasn't even allowed until two years ago."

"Sirius?" Remus called as they got to the bottom of the stairs.

"We're here!" Sirius' voice called from the kitchen.

"We have a slight change of plans." Remus said as they entered the kitchen.

"What's that?" Sirius asked, looking up from where he was spooning Polyjuice Potion into three goblets. "I thought you gave up morphing-"

"Unless necessary. I did." Tonks said. "I can't go to Diagon Alley with you, Sirius. We think Hermione should."

"Why can't you?" Sirius asked. "Are you alright?"

"I can't morph." Tonks said. "I have no control over this, and I couldn't get a single feature to change when I tried."

" _Oh_ , so you were trying to morph." Sirius said. "I was thinking you two got distracted."

Tonks rolled her eyes at Sirius, who shrugged.

"It's happened before." He said, gesturing to her stomach. Tonks had to admit, she did like the fact Sirius and Remus had avoided mentioning Rodolphus unless she did, it certainly helped her believe it was Remus' baby.

"Can that happen?" Hermione asked. "Losing control of it?"

Tonks nodded. "Children mostly, though. Not grown adults." She said. "Although, that's just a guess based on the fact I had almost complete control over my morphing by the time I was ten."

"So, I figured, to make it easier, we can change the plan slightly." Remus said. "Sirius, Hermione, you go to Diagon Alley. Sirius knows what we need, Hermione's just a spare wand, and Dora will give you the list of potion ingredients she knows that we need. I'll go with Harry and Dora to the shops in Muggle London that we need to go to. We'll send each other a patronus when we're done, and meet back here. I think it'd be safer anyway, because Dora and myself have not disguised ourselves in any way, and we should avoid going near the Leaky Cauldron."

"Dora, what would happen if you cut the blue part off?" Sirius asked.

Tonks frowned. "What...?"

"If you cut the blue part of your hair. Would it get rid of the blue?" Sirius asked.

Tonks looked down at her hair, and could see the blue had covered more of it. "I'm not going to chop my hair off just to find out. Besides, it wasn't this blue earlier, so I doubt cutting the blue will stop the rest from turning blue."

"Besides..." Remus said, and she could feel him touching the back of her hair. "There's a lot of blue here. We'll just have to alter the plan."

Tonks reached into her jean pocket, pulling out the list she had written, handing it to Hermione. "Between this and what Sirius remembers, we should have everything we need for a few more months." Tonks said. "Remember, you two are-"

"Ministry employees, buying potion ingredients to sell under the table to werewolves so we can arrest them." Sirius recited. "And you?"

"We're going to be stuck in a few Muggle shops, so I doubt anyone would ask too many questions." Tonks said. "However, if they do, Harry is my brother."

"Brother?" Harry asked.

"Unfortunately, I doubt anyone would believe you're my older son." Tonks said. "So, brother it is. However, I doubt Muggles will ask a lot of questions."

Sirius dropped three hairs into the three goblets. "Who are they?" Tonks asked, nodding to the cups.

"Three Muggles, two I got from your neighbours, one from another town- none from London. Hopefully, we'll be lucky enough to not run into them." Sirius said.

"You have Muggle neighbours?" Hermione asked. "Have they not noticed the house is hidden?"

"It's visible to Muggles." Tonks said. "However, they may have forgotten we're here because of Kingsley's enchantment. Personally, I don't like any of them. I kind of hope the ones across the street will sell their house, their son is horrible."

"And you like the house." Remus said. "Kingsley told me you plan to buy it if they go ahead with selling."

Tonks smiled slightly. "I'm not going to deny that." Tonks said, shrugging.

"I wonder if they ever think you're horrible." Sirius said, handing a goblet to Harry and Hermione.

After the others changed, they separated, Hermione and Sirius Apparating straight to the Leaky Cauldron and Harry going with Remus and Tonks. They Apparated together to a dark alley near a road of shops.

Remus had found out exactly where the two shops they needed to go to were, just to save them some time later. As they walked, Tonks felt Remus take her hand casually, and felt a smile pulling at her lips.

She had never thought of Remus as the type of person to want to hold hands in public, especially when he was so used to being hated by the general populace. However, they were in the Muggle world, perhaps that was why.

It was such a casual gesture, but somehow, it made her feel bad about not telling Remus had had happened a few days after their marriage. She told him everything, she never lied to him.

Certainly, there were things he hadn't told her?

Remus led them down the road, towards a shop that looked a little too frilly, and like a store that Tonks would have never even had the desire to go into. Inside, the shelves and tables and various fixtures were all a sharp shade of white, while it seemed every item was a pastel shade of various colours.

She wasn't sure where to start, and honestly wanted to avoid the various people wearing name tags. They seemed too cheerful, and she didn't really want to deal with it.

Tonks led Remus to a shelf of stuffed toys. "Babies should have a first toy." She said. "Like Kingsley and Alastor did for me."

"I agree, Sirius bought a deer for Harry, actually. I wonder if I still have it somewhere, I know I packed up a lot from the house." Remus said.

"A deer?" Harry asked.

"Sirius thought it was hilarious." Remus said, as Tonks released his hand and picked up a stuffed grey wolf.

"What about this?" Tonks asked.

"No."

"Remus, it's cute." Tonks said.

"It's not cute, you're doing it just to taunt me." Remus said.

"Perhaps, I am, but you do your fair share of taunting, dear." Tonks said, smiling slightly. "However, all babies should have a first toy."

"And a stuffed wolf, that's the one you want to get?" Remus asked.

"Yes." Tonks said, as she saw Harry rub his forehead.

"I think I need some air." Harry said, and Remus turned to him.

"Alone?" Remus asked. "Harry, we're in London."

"Love, leave it. He's disguised." She said in a hushed tone. "Besides, I believe this kind of thing is incredibly boring for someone like him."

Remus have a quick nod, and Tonks saw Harry mouth a quick 'thank you' before disappearing outside.

Tonks couldn't blame him. Even if he wasn't having some kind of vision, this kind of shopping would definitely be boring for a teenager.

"You really want our baby to have that wolf?" Remus asked.

"Yes."

"Then, our baby gets the wolf." Remus said. "Now, aren't we supposed to be getting you clothes?"

"I suppose." Tonks said, and they headed towards the racks of clothes. As she usually did, she was quick to buy clothes. Besides, she really didn't need much- with Sirius, Kingsley and Remus teaming up on her to keep her 'safe', she probably wouldn't leave the house very often at all and if she did, it would only be for Order meetings and she doubted the Order would care if she wore pajamas.

About twenty minutes after walking into the store, they were done, and she was relieved. Her back and feet had been sore on and off, depending on what she was doing, since she had started gaining weight. The moment she rubbed her back- hoping it had been a casual gesture- she knew Remus knew immediately from the way he looked at her. Harry was sitting on a bench outside, and stood as they approached.

"You two can wait here, we'll meet across the street in half an hour." Remus said, handing Tonks the bag he had been carrying.

Tonks and Harry sat down. "The downside to marrying a man like Remus, is he understands pain and how people hide it." She said. "Even something as simple as a backache. So, how bad was it?"

"It didn't happen, my scar just hurt." Harry said. "Did you convince Remus to agree to the wolf?"

"I did." Tonks said. "Or, he gave up, really. Didn't even have to use the pregnancy card."

"The what card?"

"Ah, you'll figure that out when you have a wife." Tonks said, stretching. "Can I ask you a favour?"

"What's that?"

"Follow me." Tonks said, standing and grabbing the bag. Harry followed Tonks, and she led him down a quieter side street, taking out her wand. "I'm not going to curse you, put it away." She added, not having to look at Harry to know he had pulled out his wand.

She shunk the bag, tucking it into her purse.

"On second thought, take it out again." Tonks said, as she continued walking.

"Why?" Harry asked, falling into step next to her. "Tonks, what's-?"

She lunged, grabbing his arm and dragging him to the ground. Three spells flew over them, colliding with the side of a building.

She jumped to her feet, grabbing Harry's arm. "Run." She demanded, keeping her hand wrapped around his wrist as they ran down the quiet street. Curses missed them, and Tonks dragged Harry into a fenced yard.

"Tonks, the Muggles-"

"Sh!" She snapped, leading him through the yard towards the house. There was a gate next to the house, leading to a back yard, and she led Harry through it.

There was the sound of a fence exploding behind them, and Tonks sped up. They ran through the back gate, into the back alley.

There was a louder explosion and Tonks felt herself get thrown. She hit the ground hard on her side, pain shooting though her hip. She could hear debris raining down around her, and rolled over to see the house of the yard they used had been blown up.

Three cloaked figures were walking through the alley, and Tonks saw Harry getting to his feet, wand in hand. She pushed herself up, trying to ignore the pain.

Harry raised his wand at the same moment she did, and their combined Stunning Spells managed to throw all three Death Eaters backwards.

Harry turned to Tonks. "Are you alright?" She asked, eyeing the blood that was dripping from his forehead.

He nodded. "You?"

"I think so." She said. "Harry, I'm sorry. You're disguised, it would have been me they recognised."

"It's not your fault." Harry said.

"We should go." Tonks said. "Switch jackets with me. Yours has a hood, it'll disguise me a little."

He nodded, taking off his jacket as she removed hers, waving a wand to clean the blood from his. She muttered a healing spell, healing the cut on his forehead. She muttered another spell, clearing the blood from his face.

Harry put on Remus' jacket and she pulled the hood of his jacket up. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to button it, but she stuck her hands in the pockets to cover her bump.

"We need to go, someone will have noticed that." Tonks said, grabbing his arm and leading him up the alley. The pain in her hip was growing stronger, but she walked on, refusing to acknowledge it.

"Why not Apparate?" Harry asked.

Tonks shook her head. "I can't focus right now, the last thing we need is to Splinch."

They reached the end of the alley, and turned back towards the quiet street they had been on, heading back to the road of shops. They crossed the road quickly, heading for the alley. Remus was there, waiting.

"Where were you?" Remus asked. "What happened?"

"Death Eaters." Tonks answered. "Let's go, Harry's disguise will wear off soon."


	19. Chapter 19

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

 _ **Also, yes, there's gonna be some smut in the later area of this chapter. And after the smut, part of DH's chapter 11(The Bribe) shows up.**_

* * *

As soon as the November moon wanted, they left. Kingsley had thrown himself into Order work again, while Remus and Tonks were reduced to staying home and hoping some interesting news might come their way.

Most of the days, Sirius would find them in the living room, Tonks' head on Remus' lap as they read through the baby books together.

There wasn't really anything else for them to do.

Sirius left with Hermione and Harry early one morning, before anyone woke up. Or, before Sirius thought anyone was awake. As they approached the stairs, he could hear talking from Remus and Tonks' room- he honestly thought they usually slept in, but apparently that had been a wrong assumption.

He felt bad leaving without saying anything, but this had to end, and he had to help Harry.

They spent the final week of November moving around, never staying somewhere more than a day. Moving around seemed to give the illusion of progress, and that was what they wanted- progress.

The first week of December was spent in a forest covered in thick snow, after they had nearly met Snatchers at a wizarding pub. It gave them time to rest, anyway.

The second week of December, they traveled to the Forest of Dean, where they did nothing but try to plan.

By December's full moon, they still didn't have another Horcrux or anything to destroy them with. There had been a quick discussion about whether or not to go back, interrupted by the feeling someone was nearby, and Sirius decided it wasn't worth the risk.

If they were being followed, he wouldn't lead them to more Order members.

After three nights of hearing someone near their camp, they began to stand watch at night. Sirius couldn't sleep when Harry or Hermione offered to take watch during the night, and he realised he was right to do so.

One night, he realised how cold it was getting, and went outside to tell Harry to come back into the tent.

"Harry?" Sirius called, when he realised Harry wasn't sitting right in front of the tent. It had only been about half an hour since Harry had gone outside. There were footprints in the snow, partially covered by the snow that was still falling. Sirius followed them quickly, wand in hand.

Outside of the boundaries, he didn't want to call for Harry too loudly, in case there were Death Eaters nearby. Why would Harry wander off?

Something silver appeared near Sirius, materialising into a doe. "Who's there?" Sirius demanded. "Who are you?"

The doe walked away from Sirius a few steps before stopping.

Whose doe was this?

Sirius followed the doe, which stopped every time he did. He looked around, but couldn't see anyone casting it. The doe stopped at the edge of a clearing, and then vanished.

Sirius heard someone shouting, and rushed into the clearing. There was a long scream of agony, and Sirius found himself staring at Harry on the ground and Ron, the Sword of Gryffindor in his hands.

"What the Bloody Hell is going on?" Sirius demanded. Ron and Harry looked up, Harry pushing himself to his feet.

"We found the sword." Harry said.

"Where did you come from?" Sirius asked Ron. "Everyone's been wondering-"

"I was at Bill's for a while. We argued, I left. Tried to find you lot, but couldn't find the damn house again."

"Oh, yeah... I think Kingsley's reset the enchantment a couple times." Sirius said. "I hope they haven't reset it in the last couple weeks. Where'd you find the sword?"

"In there." Harry said, pointing to the pond. Sirius noticed the ice was broken, and Harry was dripping wet.

"Back to the tent. We'll discuss this behind our protective enchantments."

* * *

Tonks was frustrated.

Not for any good reason, she realised. She was frustrated because her hormones had decided to flip her from being constantly upset and sometimes happy, to mostly happy, easily angered and easily aroused. Every little thing Remus did nearly unhinged her and she was sure he knew, and was doing it on purpose.

Sometimes at night when he was asleep, hand on her bump, she'd feel the urge to wake him and shag him senseless. And then it would pass, and she'd be angry again for feeling that way. Why she was angry about feeling that way, she didn't know.

She'd be laying in the couch, head in his lap, holding one of the baby books as they talked, and she'd want to be doing everything but taking. Did it phase her that they were in the living room? Not one bit. She just wanted Remus, and was very tempted to simply take him on the couch.

Another reason she was angry was because her hair was completely blue now, but that didn't stop other colours from appearing. Some days, there'd be red mixed in with the blue. Others, green. Sometimes even pink appeared. It made her extremely frustrated to have no control over it.

Kingsley was doing everyday patrols again, and Tonks couldn't quite pinpoint it, but something about him seemed distant towards her. Perhaps without Alastor, the two of them simply had no familial bond.

As December's full moon approached, she began to plan. Somehow, she was afraid to approach the subject of their sexless marriage when Remus wasn't susceptible to the pull of the moon- and he was susceptible this month, because they only had enough ingredients for three days of Wolfsbane, because no one would sell to Sirius. She somehow found it easier to think about bringing it up right before the full moon- with less than forty eight hours until December's moon, she went upstairs and placed a Silencing Charm(Kingsley and Alastor's _only_ rule after their marriage) on their room.

She showered, shaving her legs and applying the lotion that Remus had once mentioned he loved, spending a few minutes debating on whether or not she should wear a bra- deciding on it, because she felt a little self conscious about doing otherwise right now- and then pulling one of Remus' larger tshirts on.

She left the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting.

Her plan had been to reintroduce the idea of sex to their marriage, but unfortunately, she would be left wondering if that had been what led to the end of her marriage.

* * *

Remus entered the room, assuming she would be asleep considering how long she had been up there, but was a little surprised to see her sitting on the end of the bed, legs crossed at the ankle, a tshirt barely covering her upper thighs.

His sensitive sense of smell caught a whiff of vanilla lotion, the one she had been wearing the first night of their marriage. Quite frankly, he was sure it was what he would smell if he were subjected to a whiff of Amortentia. He wasn't sure what the other scents would be, but he was very sure this would be one.

"I thought you were tired." Remus said, and she shook her head, standing up.

"I'm sorry that I'm using the full moon against you." Tonks said, stepping towards him.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked, and he could tell she was nervous about something. She closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. He pulled away. "Dora, I don't want to hurt you-"

"I need this." Tonks said, closing the gap between them again.

"Dora-"

"Remus, _please_." She murmured against his neck, pressing a kiss to one of the scars on his neck.

"I don't want to hurt you." Remus said, but his objections were crumbling with each kiss and he knew he wouldn't be able to continue voicing his hesitations if her hands wandered any lower.

She shushed him, and her hands wandered lower. He wrapped his arms around her hips, knowing he had definitely lost any chance to push away. He turned, setting her on her side of the bed. His hands moved up her thighs, pulling up the overly large tshirt she was wearing, up to her hips. She leaned forward, reaching for him, but he gently pushed her onto her back.

He trailed kisses up her thigh, and looped his fingers under the waist of her underwear, pulling them down, moving back only to get them out of the way.

She went to sit up, but Remus grabbed her legs again, spreading them. He kissed her thigh again, this time trailing higher, and heard her gasp quietly.

Remus felt it was too close to the moon, and didn't want to risk hurting her or losing control if she needed him to stop, so he tried to focus on only her.

The wolf side of him was extremely pleased to hear her breathless responses to his mouth, and unfortunately, he was beginning to feel the need to succumb to the wolf's desire.

"Oh, _God_..." She gasped, her hips bucking slightly in response to Remus' tongue. She was close, he knew it. However...

He pulled away from her, pushing her t-shirt up further, pressing kisses to her hip and slightly swollen abdomen.

"Remus... Please..." She gasped, sitting up slightly so he could pull the shirt over her head. He reached down, untying the string on the waistband of his pajamas, shoving his clothes out of the way.

He moved closer, pressing kisses to her breast and shoulder now, and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

The moment she did that, Remus succumbed, pushing into her. He heard her moan against his ear, which only encouraged the wolf.

There was something about her that was always so intoxicating to him, and her breath against his ear, her quiet moans and when she whispered his name... he was rendered powerless by the wolf, who recognised her as _his._ Any tiny percentage of control that he still maintained over the wolf right now was being used to ensure that she would finish first, and that this was for her and not for him. He reached his right hand down, trailing the tip of his finger gently along her abdomen and hip, lower, using two fingers to stroke her gently. He knew, by the way she moaned when his fingers made contact, this wouldn't be one of their longer experiences. Quite frankly, he loved when her orgasms were quick- he loved knowing he was able to cause such a reaction so quickly.

He realised he hadn't thought to put up a Silencing Charm, even though he'd realise it wasn't necessary because as always, she finished with a quiet cry of his name against his ear, her legs tightening around his hips involuntarily while her fingers dug into his back, forcing him over the edge.

He remained still for a moment, listening to her breath in his ear, before he pulled out of her and lay down next to her.

"I should be mad." Remus said, looking over at her, grinning at the sight of her disheveled hair and satisfied smile. "But, uh, I can't be."

Tonks turned her head to look at him, a brilliant smile lighting up her face. "Good."

He turned onto his side, stroking the side of her face slowly with his left hand. "So, how much of that was hormones, how much was because it's been a while?"

"I honestly don't know the answer for either of those." She said.

"Well, if you need my services again..."

She rolled onto her side, shifting closer to him. "Oh, you'll know if I do." She said, pulling the covers over them as he reached behind him to grab his wand and, with a quick flick of his wand, he extinguished the lights.

He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer to his chest. She wrapped an arm around him as well, and he rested his cheek against her hair- which was still stubbornly blue, he noticed.

"Dora?"

"Mm?"

"I wonder if this has anything to do with gender." He said, wrapping a curl around one of his fingers. "The baby's gender, I mean."

"I was hoping you meant that, because I was going to say I've had blue before, and I am most definitely a woman." She responded. "I've been thinking that too."

"There is that spell in the book that could tell us."

"I don't think I want to know. I want to be surprised."

"Then, we'll be surprised."

The next morning, she was up and out of bed before he was. He didn't feel very well, because of the lack of Wolfsbane. After Sirius admitted no one would sell the one ingredient they needed, they knew he'd be without Wolfsbane for this month. Possibly longer if they couldn't think of a way to get the ingredient. Sirius joked that he'd simply go and steal it, but Remus wondered if he was actually joking.

There was an Order meeting that morning, which lasted longer than expected. There was no war related news, so everyone just caught up. Ginny was due to be home within the next week, Charlie had arrived that morning for a few days, and Bill admitted Ron had been staying with him and Fleur, but had left after an argument.

Molly and Fleur were absolutely enthralled by the fact Tonks was now showing, so neither were very angry at Bill for Ron's departure. After all, it wouldn't be Bill's fault, anyway. Charlie made a casual remark that he had heard the news from Molly, who had made it sound like she wished _she_ was Tonks' mother-in-law, because at least then _she'd_ be getting a grandchild before she went grey. Even though it was clearly a joke, Remus suddenly felt jealous.

He had known that Tonks and Charlie had dated for two years during Hogwarts, because she had told him. He also knew she had been a virgin when they got married, but he was still jealous. For some strange reason, he felt threatened by Charlie. The redhead was younger than Remus, much healthier, and Remus couldn't help but feel like Tonks would be better off with him- just like Remus had insisted for most of the year before.

The feeling stayed with him all day, and all evening. He went upstairs before she did, showering and changing. He was reading when she entered, and he watched as she walked to the dresser to grab the tshirt she generally slept in.

"You said you had only ever been with me." Remus said, before really thinking. She paused in front of the dresser, turning to look at him.

"Sorry?"

"When we got married, you said you had only ever been with me."

Tonks frowned. "I wasn't lying, Remus. I've only ever been with you-"

"But you dated Charlie."

"Doesn't mean I shagged him!" Tonks said, sounding slightly offended. "Remus, you're the _only_ man I've ever been with."

Later, Remus would feel terrible for it, because the wolf had recognised Tonks as its mate a long time ago and any threat to that- it made the wolf extremely jealous. He supposed that was why he said it, even though he was sure it wasn't how he truly felt at all. However, with no Wolfsbane controlling the wolf, and the full moon only a day away...

"Except for Rodolphus."

" _Excuse me_?" She demanded, a burning red appearing at the ends of her blue hair.

"I'm the only man you've been with, except for Rodolph-"

"Get out." She growled. He was sure if she had had her wand in her hand, she would have cursed him.

For some reason, that had made him angrier, and instead of defending himself, he got out of bed and left, slamming the bedroom door loudly. He avoided her the next day, staying in Sirius' room until he headed down the basement.

When the moon waned, and he began to feel better after he turned back, he realised what he had done.

Personally, if he was Tonks, he'd never forgive him for saying it. He wasn't sure he could forgive himself, anyway, so he did the only thing that seemed to make sense.

He slipped, silently, into their bedroom, grateful she was still asleep. He left a note with his wedding ring on the pillow next to her, waving his wand and watching as his clothes silently packed themselves.

And then he left. She'd be better off with someone who didn't say such horrible things.


	20. Chapter 20

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

* * *

Tonks woke up a lot later than she usually would have on a full moon. She generally woke up when Remus came in or before, if she wanted to help him. She rolled over to see if Remus had come upstairs yet, but his side of the bed was empty. She frowned when she noticed a piece of parchment with his ring, and sat up slowly, picking it up.

 _Tonks,_

 _I made a mistake, I can admit that. You, and your child, will be better off without me._

 _You're young, and you're strong. You can find someone who can help you, someone young and healthy, who won't say such terrible things. Someone who won't hurt you, someone who isn't so worthless._

 _I hope that you can one day forgive me for leaving, and I can understand if you never forgive me for what I said. It was unforgivable. However, it made me realise you deserve better. You and your child deserve someone who won't be a terrible person to them. Someone who isn't me._

 _All I hope now, is that you survive this war, and find happiness._

 _I would lie here, and say I don't love you, but I can't. I've hurt you, and I can't hurt you further by lying. I'm doing this because I love you, and I can't live with myself if I stay._

 _I'm very sorry, Tonks._

Tonks stared at the letter. He hadn't called her 'Tonks' for months, and when he did, it was only because she had told him not to do otherwise. She was always 'Nymphadora' or 'Dora' to him.

She had been mad for quite a while after he left after the argument, and the next day, realised she was still angry. Last night, she spent all night, awake, laying in bed. She realised she couldn't be angry anymore. Remus was right. He could have worded it better, sure, but he was right.

She had, technically, been with another man.

However, she could understand he hadn't had Wolfsbane controlling him, and that the wolf was far more temperamental than Remus was.

She had even read a little bit of the werewolf books they had, and found that werewolves could be naturally jealous if they found a mate and felt threatened by someone else's connection to their mate. Remus had become quiet, almost annoyed when Charlie had been there. Had Remus felt threatened by Charlie's presence?

That still didn't explain why Remus would leave, though. He had promised to help her, to claim the child as his.

Now he was gone, and she was left alone.

She had to admit, she was a little more angry than upset.

He had promised her, he had told her. They'd get through this together. _Together_!

She got out of bed, tucking the letter into the pocket of the pajama pants she pulled on, and headed downstairs. Maybe Kingsley didn't have to know.

She entered the kitchen just as he was plating breakfast, and looked up at her. "Remus still asleep?" He asked, and she promptly burst into tears.

Kingsley, to his credit, was used to her emotional outbursts. She had had plenty when she was a teenager, and in the last few months.

"Dora, what's wrong?" Kingsley asked, walking over to her and wrapping his arms around her. "Did you two argue?"

She felt herself crumbling, telling Kingsley everything that had happened in the last few days. It felt strangely good to let it out, to tell someone.

Kingsley was quiet after she had finished talking, frowning slightly. "I might kill him."

"Kingsley-"

"I said _might_." Kingsley said, walking to the counter and picking up two plates. "Here, eat breakfast."

"I'm not very hungry."

"You're going to eat breakfast." Kingsley said, walking over and placing the plates on the table.

She sighed, walking over and sitting at the table. They were quiet throughout breakfast, and Kingsley did the cleaning up, before joining her in the living room. She was reading Remus' letter again, still confused by his reasoning.

"So, do you really think you'll be alone?" Kingsley asked, and she didn't look up. "I'm here. I'm sure Sirius will help out where he can. You're going to stay here, you're going to do nothing but relax and care for yourself- absolutely _nothing_ else. No Order meetings, no going out alone. You stay hidden, you stay away from the war, you stay safe."

"I don't really fancy being a single Mum, though-"

"You're going to be a great mother, whether or not you're married. And, you know, you don't have to stay single forever. Perhaps if the war ends-"

"I can't think about that right now." Tonks said. "I'm pregnant, and funny enough, neither possible father is around. How terrible is that?"

"Not terrible, Rodolphus would be dead either way." Kingsley said. "And I'm tempted to go find Remus and-"

"Please don't."

"Dora, someone should go make him see sense." Kingsley said. "And I'm pretty angry he hurt you like this-"

"I'd actually just prefer it if you stayed here."

"I'm planning to. I'll send a patronus to Arthur, ask him to cover my patrol today." Kingsley said. "And then, I'm thinking we do what we used to do when you were younger and Alastor would be on missions with the Aurors."

"Watch Muggle movies and eat junk food because Alastor wasn't here to tell us to do otherwise?" Tonks asked, and Kingsley nodded.

"We'll do nothing all day, the war doesn't exist, Remus doesn't exist. It's just the two of us." Kingsley said, as someone knocked on the door. "Or, us and whoever that is." Kingsley stood, wand in hand. "Who is it?"

"Hestia Jones and Molly Weasley!" A female voice called. "Two fellow members of the Order of the Pheonix, we were just here a few days ago."

"That doesn't really prove who you are." Kingsley responded, but he was heading for the door anyway.

"We know about Tonks' pregnancy, does that prove it?" Hestia asked, as Kingsley opened the door. Hestia and Molly were standing with a young man, who Tonks didn't recognise.

Kingsley gestured them inside. "Who's this?" Kingsley asked, as they all sat down.

"My brother Leo." Hestia said. "You wouldn't have met him before, he was in Hogwarts for most of the first war."

"Hestia and I had tea yesterday, and she suggested it." Molly said. "I met Leo this morning, and we figured we'd come here right away."

"Suggested what?" Kingsley asked.

"Leo's a Healer." Hestia said. "His specialty isn't obstetrics, but-"

"My specialty is spell-induced injuries." Leo said. "However, before Healers learn a specialty, they are required to take a few basic courses first so that they can decide their specialty. One of my choices was obstetrics, so I took a basic course before choosing spell-induced injuries."

"So...?" Tonks asked.

"We figure it'd be good to have a Healer around who can help with the birth." Hestia said. "Leo gives me all of his work schedules, and if you go into labour, you can send someone to find me and I can get him. If he's unavailable,-"

"I believe Molly can help until I can arrive." Leo said.

"This is still a few months away." Tonks said.

"It's good to have a plan, Tonks." Molly said. "You may have a few months left _now_ , but it goes by so quickly."

"Well... I suppose it wouldn't be terrible having someone to help me with the birth itself." Tonks said. "I hadn't really thought about it until now."

Molly, Leo and Hestia left a while later, leaving Kingsley and Tonks to continue their day. Slowly, the day alone turned into a week alone, Kingsley asking various Order members to cover his patrols without saying why exactly.

On Christmas Eve, Tonks sent him on a patrol, saying he couldn't keep asking others to cover for him, and that it was a few short hours anyway. Once he left, she did too.

She had gotten the idea that Remus was at Grimmauld Place a few days after he had left. She wasn't sure why she thought that, but she just wanted to check. She Apparated outside of Grimmauld Place, heading into the hallway, waiting for the charm Alastor had set to activate.

"I didn't kill you, Professor." Tonks said as soon her tongue unrolled, and the figure exploded into a cloud of dust. She covered her mouth with her sleeve, walking forward. She heard a noise in the kitchen, and headed down the stairs.

Remus was sitting at the table, his back to the door. Probably hadn't heard her come in, which seemed strange.

"So I was right." Tonks said, and Remus tensed up.

"What do you want?"

"That's a difficult question, Remus." She said, walking to sit across from him. "At first, you. Now, I just want answers."

"Answers for what, exactly?" Remus asked, not meeting her eyes.

"Answers for the crossword in the Daily Prophet, _obviously_." She said, narrowing her eyes. "Why'd you leave?"

"I told you-"

"You didn't tell me anything. You left a note and slipped away, like a coward."

His eyes finally met hers. "A coward, am I?"

"Yes."

"Just leave if you're here to pick a fight." Remus said, standing slowly. "I'm not going to argue."

"I'm not leaving." Tonks said, standing.

"Go."

"No!" Tonks snapped, unbuttoning her jacket, gesturing to her bump. " _This_ is why I'm not leaving. _You_ said you wanted this, that you'd be there! That we'd get through this _together_!"

"Together? You'd be willing to be with someone who mistreats you just for a child that's probably not even mine?" Remus demanded.

"So it _does_ bother you!"

"Of course it does!" Remus yelled. "I'd be lying or insane if it didn't!"

"You told me it didn't matter!"

"It doesn't matter! That doesn't mean it doesn't bother me!"

"You told me that this child would be _yours_ , no matter what!" Tonks yelled. "So, now what? Do I stay a single Mum? Do you come home, and resent this baby for something _I_ chose? Tell me, what happens now?"

"You go home. I leave here." Remus said. "And that's all."

"So, you lied to me." Tonks said slowly. "You convinced me things would be okay if I kept the baby, that you'd be there. You lied to me."

"Don't you dare." Remus growled. "I never once lied."

"Really? Didn't you? You said you'd help me, that you'd be there for me. And now what? You're gone, and won't tell me why."

"I said terrible things-"

"I say terrible things a lot." Tonks said.

"I hurt you."

"Do I look hurt?"

Remus sighed, sinking into a chair. "Dora, why are you here?"

"I told you." Tonks said. "For answers. Why did you leave?"

"What I said was unforgivable, Dora. I don't even know why I said it, and I felt terrible- still do. The fact I can slip up so easily and blame you for something you have no control over... Dora, I can't force you to deal with that."

"Force me?" Tonks asked. "Remus, I _chose_ you. I will admit, I don't know much about werewolves, but I know about _you_. You're a good man, and I love you. I forgave you almost immediately for what you said, because I know it wasn't you."

"I don't want you to ever regret marrying me." Remus said. "And if I can't get Wolfsbane, who knows what I may do next?"

"We'll find a way to get Wolfsbane." Tonks said. "We can make this work, Remus."

"But what I said-"

"Was terrible, yes. But you _know_ it was bad, you know it's not true." Tonks said. "I mean, it _technically_ is true. However, you did just point out it wasn't my choice. So, deep down, you know you don't believe what you said that night."

"Dora... I can't ask you to put up with-"

"I never had to say yes to being with you." Tonks said. "I truly love you. I _want_ to be with you."

"I can't be with you, Dora."

"Don't start that again, _please_." Tonks said, standing and walking over to him. "Give me your hand." He listened, and she placed his hand over her bump. She had been feeling it for a couple of days now, and was hoping he'd feel it too. Sure enough, she felt the baby's movements and saw his eyes widen slightly. "Tell me you don't want any part of this, now that you've felt it."

"That was...?"

"The baby." Tonks said. "Tell me again, that it's over. Say you don't love me, and I'll go."

Remus dropped his hand, staring at the table. "I can't." He said quietly. "I'm just worried about how you and the baby will treated by society, and how bad things could go if I don't have Wolfsbane. I can't say I don't regret our marriage, Dora. I really do love you, but-"

"That's another thing I think you should know, Remus." Tonks said. "We're not married."

"What?" Remus asked, frowning at her.

"You deserve to know, I think." Tonks said. "My last day of work? I was called into a meeting, they told me that I could either have the marriage annulled or go to Azkaban. I annulled the marriage and claimed I'd never speak to you again."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Remus asked.

"Well, I was worried you'd be upset, and start blaming yourself." Tonks said. "But Remus, please understand. I was willing to lie to the Ministry, just to continue being with you. Please don't throw us away. I don't care what people will say or do, we'll stay safe until the war ends, and then fight whatever battles we have to in order to be happy."

Remus was silent.

"I am sick thinking about the fact there's a huge chance that Rodolphus is the one who got me pregnant, but I'd honestly prefer the backlash of you being the father instead of people finding out otherwise." Tonks said, picking up her jacket. "I'll leave you to think about everything. If you choose me and the baby, meet me in three days, under the willow tree at the end of our street. At midnight. If you don't show up by twelve thirty, I'll assume you chose otherwise."

She pulled on her jacket, but Remus still didn't respond.

Tonks headed for the stairs. "Merry Christmas, Remus."


	21. Chapter 21

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

 _ **I AM SO MAD THAT I'M HITTING A BRICK WALL, BECAUSE I HAVE A BIG IDEA FOR MARCH/APRIL/MAY AND THIS IS ONLY LATE DECEMBER/ EARLY JANUARY**_

* * *

It was good knowing they had destroyed one Horcrux. However, they still didn't know where the others were. Sirius suggested they go back to the house, but they realised two Death Eaters seemed to be following them.

Somehow, wherever they Apparated, these two wizards would appear as well.

Late one night, Sirius sent a patronus to Tonks, knowing she could help them. He had a plan, and it would involve her- which, he figured, she would enjoy.

Just as he expected, he spotted Kingsley's dark blue car parked outside of a small library in the town they had spent the day in while trying to lose the Death Eaters tailing them.

He led the trio across the street, opening the passenger side door and aiming his wand at her. "Morph."

"You know I can't, you arse." Tonks said.

"Prove it's you."

She huffed, unbuttoning her jacket. "How's this?" She asked, patting her baby bump.

"It'll do." Sirius said, gesturing to the three teenagers and getting in. "I guess we really haven't seen you for a while."

"No, you have not." She said, as Ron, Harry and Hermione climbed into the backseat. She redid the buttons on her jacket quickly. "Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, did we miss any others?"

"Uh... it's only January, right?" Sirius asked.

"Yes, sir."

"Then, I don't believe so." Sirius said as she threw the car into gear. "Does Kingsley know?"

"Yeah, I walked into his room and took the keys, he just said not to be gone too long."

"Are you alright? You seem a little... angry." Sirius said.

"Well, you sent me a patronus at one in the morning and woke me up, but no. I'm fine."

"Did Remus have any issue without you leaving at one in the morning?" Sirius asked.

"He doesn't know." Tonks said, tensely. "And I'm sure he doesn't care anyway. I doubt he cares what I do now."

"Oh, I know that tone." Sirius said slowly. "Argument?"

"No argument, but we broke up."

" _What_?" Sirius demanded. "You can't just break up, you're married. And adults! Adults don't just-"

"Adults _do_ break up, Sirius." Tonks said. "It doesn't matter, he's already gone."

"Gone where?"

Tonks shrugged. "No idea."

"Oh, for the love of..." Sirius grumbled. "When?"

"After the last full moon."

"Why?"

"That wouldn't be appropriate for the ears of children." Tonks said.

"Is it about Ro-"

"Sh!" Tonks spat, glaring at Sirius.

"Pull over here, Dora." Sirius said after a moment, pointing to a dark parking lot.

"Uh, why? Sirius, there may be Death Eaters-"

"Just do it, please." Sirius said. She pulled into the parking lot, and Sirius reached over, turning off the ignition. "I've been thinking about this a lot. It's part of the reason I asked you to meet us here."

"You asked me to drive an hour and half so we could sit in a dark parking lot?" Tonks asked.

"You don't recognise this place?"

"No?"

Sirius sighed. "In 1973- February 10th, to be exact- I got a letter from Andromeda. She had a daughter. A month later, I found out that the baby had been abandoned and that Andromeda and Ted were gone. I didn't know where you ended up, not until summer. I was forced to attend Narcissa and Lucius' wedding in July and after the wedding, they immediately asked the Ministry to take you from your godfathers and place you with them."

"I know this story." Tonks said.

"A Ministry worker observed you with Kingsley and Alastor for two years, without Alastor and Kingsley even knowing when they were doing it. They observed Lucius and Narcissa as well, but Lucius already had enough connections to know when they were being observed. The Ministry didn't hesitate to deny Lucius and Narcissa's request- that was in 1975." Sirius said. "I hate to admit, I was a little disappointed. I hadn't met you yet, and kind of figured I'd never be able to. And then I was disowned, the Christmas after I turned sixteen. I had left, blaming my family for Andromeda's death, and I went to James' home. I got a letter a few days later from Regulus, saying Mum had blasted me from the tree. James lived three blocks from this park."

Harry sounded interested immediately. "Dad lived near here?"

"I believe Muggles own the house now, I can't remember for sure." Sirius said. "That summer, I wrote to Alastor and Kingsley, asking if I could meet you. I expected them to say no, but they agreed. They knew I was underage, so they agreed to meet me here, because I didn't have to travel far. You had turned three a few months before."

"I really don't remember."

"Well, I do. And I saw you with Alastor and Kingsley, and it was like you had always been their kid. I suppose you always were, though." Sirius said. "Anyway, I've just been thinking about it for a while. And I want you to think about it too, Harry. Your family isn't always the one you're born to. Whether it's by choice, or something you didn't choose- what matters is that you eventually end up right where you need to be."

"What made you think of this?" Tonks asked.

Sirius shrugged. "I realised that I ended up where I belonged, and I just wanted to make sure you two knew you could do the same...it took me sixteen years to find my family. It took you a month and a few days, Dora." Sirius said. "And Harry, maybe you've already found yours. Maybe not. What matters is that family is not always someone related to you by blood. You can choose."

"Oh, can I?" Tonks asked. "Then I choose to sever our relation, cousin."

"Oh, I am absolutely heartbroken." Sirius said, just as he spotted the two Death Eaters again. This time, they were in the park, watching the car. "Wait here."

He jumped out of the car, heading for the Death Eaters. Immediately, one pulled up his sleeve, touching his Dark Mark. Sirius used this momentary distraction to Obliviate the one who touched his mark, as the second pulled out his wand and fired off a curse at Sirius. Sirius dodged the curse, firing back a Stunning Curse, which connected with the Death Eater's shoulder.

Apparently, these two weren't exactly the most skilled at dueling. He cast another memory charm, and headed back to the car. He slammed the car door shut. "Go." He told Tonks, who started the car and threw it into gear again.

"Why didn't you do that and then Apparate instead of making me drive out here?" Tonks asked.

"The second they touch their Dark Marks, you can't Apparate." Sirius said. "And besides, I figured you'd like to be involved."

* * *

Over the years, Tonks thought she had perfected sneaking in or out of the house. Apparently, she hadn't.

The moment she opened the front door, the light turned on, and Kingsley was there, wand in hand.

"What did you tell me earlier this evening?" He asked.

"I said that it was alright if you went for a patrol, because you couldn't keep getting others to cover for you." Tonks said. "Prove yourself."

Kingsley nodded, putting his wand away. "When you were seven, your hair was green for a week because you had the chicken pox." He said. "Where were you?"

"I went for a walk, wasn't sure what time you'd be back."

From the look on his face, he didn't believe her.

However, he didn't push the subject. He went for a patrol the next day, and the day after that. She didn't mind spending the time alone, she found. On the day she was supposed to meet Remus, a couple days after she had gone to help Sirius and the trio, Kingsley was gone most of the afternoon. Since their return, Sirius and the teenagers had been doing nothing but looking through the Horcrux books again. Sirius hadn't pushed the subject of the breakup, and Tonks was relieved.

When Kingsley returned, he handed her a small package.

"I thought we just weren't doing Christmas this year, I didn't think to get you anything-"

Kingsley shook his head. "You don't have to." He said. "Besides, it's not really a Christmas gift, it's just something I thought you'd like."

She took the small package, untying the ribbon from the box. She pulled out a soft white knitted blanket, followed by a small white onesie.

"It's just- well, your parents had their own versions of those to put you in when you were first born. We still have them here, actually. I just figured you may like the same keepsake for your baby. You know, the first blanket they're wrapped in... the first piece of clothing they wear...?"

Tonks smiled. "That's really nice. Thank you." She said, looking down at the blanket. "Kingsley, I lied to you the other day."

"I know."

"You do?"

Kingsley nodded. "If you went for a walk, you wouldn't have Apparated so close to the boundaries."

Tonks swore under her breath.

"So, where did you really go?" Kingsley asked.

"I found Remus."

Kingsley frowned. "You went after Remus?"

"Yes. We argued a little, I let him feel the baby move, and gave him an ultimatum."

"What kind of ultimatum?" Kingsley asked.

"If he loves me, like he claims he does, he needs to choose. Either he can come back, help me with the baby and we can be a family, or he doesn't come back and never hears from me again."

"And which did he choose?" Kingsley asked.

"I don't know yet, I told him to meet me at the end of the street at midnight." Tonks said.

"If he comes back, I'm not going to be nice to him."

"Can you at least try?" Tonks asked. "For me?"

"I can't promise anything." Kingsley said. "He hurt you, Dora, and I'm not sure I can forgive that so easily."

Later that night, Tonks waited underneath the tree, watching her watch. At twelve fifteen, she had seen someone walking towards her and thought it was Remus- but then the figure turned towards one of the houses.

By twelve twenty nine, her heart was pounding.

At twelve forty five, she walked back towards their house slowly.

It seemed Remus had made his decision.

In the days afterwards, Tonks was in a terrible mood. This wasn't lost on Kingsley or Sirius, who gave her space most of the time.

"You." Sirius said, walking into the living room and Tonks. "Come with me." Slowly, Tonks stood and followed Sirius into the kitchen. He tossed a jacket her way, pointing at her shoes next to the back door.

"What's going on?" Tonks asked.

"Just come with me." Sirius repeated.

She pulled her jacket on, stuffing her feet into her shoes, and Sirius was already outside. She followed, walking quickly to catch up with him, when he spun to face her. "You have been in a rotten mood lately." He said.

"Excuse me?" Tonks asked.

"I think I know what it is." Sirius said. "Dora, have you ever gone back?"

"Back where?" Tonks asked.

"To the house." Sirius said. "I showed Harry where James and Lily lived-"

"No." Tonks said. "And I won't. Besides, don't you think I'm in a bad mood because my husband ran out-"

"I think you should." Sirius said.

"I won't go back."

"You _should_. Address it."

"No."

"Look, Dora, it sucks. There was never a definitive answer. Did they die immediately? Did they die later? Where are their bodies? Are they still alive, kept imprisoned? Still alive, memories erased, no knowledge of their former lives or daughter? We didn't know then, we won't ever know." Sirius said. "However, I think you should go back and see the house. You were born in that house, it was your home-"

" _No._ " Tonks said. " _This_ is my home. That never was. That was- it was temporary."

"I'll make a deal with you." Sirius said. "You come with me. We'll stand outside the house. If you don't want to go in, you don't have to."

"I could just go back inside." Tonks said.

"You could." Sirius said. "However, that doesn't mean I'll stop suggesting it. Kingsley agrees with me, he thinks you should go back there too."

Tonks was quiet for a minute. "I won't go inside."

"You don't have to." Sirius said. They walked to the end of the yard, where the boundaries ended and the back alley began. They Apparated together, appearing on a quiet street.

Perhaps the street had once been charming, but now it was anything but. Most of the houses had overgrown lawns and weeds, most of the fences discoloured and leaning. Shutters were either missing altogether, or hanging crooked.

It didn't look like anyone lived on this street at all, and had it not been for the lights in a few windows, or the cars in very few driveways, she'd think no one did. Sirius seemed to know where they were going, so she followed him quietly.

The house was small, the white paint peeling and discoloured from so many years of neglect. The shutters may have been blue at one point, but now they were faded so terribly she couldn't identify a colour for sure. Weeds had grown over what may have been a nice green lawn, a nice garden, even the pathway leading to the house.

The mailbox was attached to the gate, rusted. The gate and fence were the same peeling white as the house, and part of the fence was slanted, possibly displaced by a harsh storm.

She approached the gate, Sirius staying back. She ran a finger over the rusted numbers stamped on the mailbox, no longer readable. Tonks lifted the metal lid, listening to the groan of protest from the weathered hinges. She wasn't sure why she wanted to open the mailbox, but something told her to. Perhaps, she was just hoping there would be mail, left behind for so many years, that said their names. Something to prove they had once been here.

A thick envelope was the only item there, the envelope yellowed and the writing slightly smudged. She picked it out, her heart skipping a beat as she saw her own first name printed in neat, feminine-looking cursive.

 _Nymphadora_

She stared at the envelope for a long time. Did this mean they were alive? Or, had been for a while?

Tonks looked up at the house again, and then pushed the gate open. She had to see it. She had to see the house, see if it looked as she imagined. Alastor and Kingsley had told her the door and windows had been destroyed, but they must have repaired them, she figured. After all, this was technically her house.

She didn't like how quiet it was, although she knew she shouldn't have expected it to be otherwise. There seemed to be a thick layer of dust on everything, except a few spots on the floor, and she was sure those were from Harry and Hagrid's visit in July.

The furniture was damaged, she noticed. Some was destroyed completely. There were pictures on the mantle above the fireplace, a thick layer of dust covering the glass. She felt something crunch under her foot and looked down. Some pictures had been knocked down, the glass shattered.

Tonks turned towards the stairs, wondering if they'd be stable enough for her to go up. They didn't appear damaged, and didn't creak when she slowly stepped up a few, so she continued on.

She noticed the rooms up here seemed to be similar to how Alastor and Kingsley's house looked. The bathroom door was right at the top of the stairs, a bedroom door a little further down the hall. She noticed, however, there was only one single door that was open partially at the other end. No attic stairs, no extra bedroom.

Did she want to see the room she had spent a month of her life in?

After a moment, she realised she did. She knew that she had spent nearly six months in a crib next to Kingsley and Alastor's bed, before they had turned one of the extra rooms into a room for her.

She just wanted to see if it had been the same here, or if that had just been something they decided to do. She headed down the hallway towards the partially open door, pushing it open the rest of the way.

The nursery was untouched, the furniture where it had always been. She never understood why Kingsley and Alastor had left it all untouched and just bought everything new again. Perhaps it had been their way of entering parenthood, because they(obviously) had been unable to enter parenthood in the traditional sense. There was a thick layer of dust covering the room, the blanket in the crib was shoved aside in the crib, probably from when Alastor had retrieved her from the crib.

She picked up the blanket, a lump forming in her throat. A wave of emotion hit her, and she sank to her knees, clutching the blanket. Sirius found her there a few minutes later, still holding the pink blanket, sobbing.


	22. Chapter 22

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

Short chapter, my apologies.

* * *

Remus felt terrible. The night Tonks had asked him to meet her, he still hadn't decided. After feeling the baby, he felt like he had to protect the two of them. However, he was still upset about what he had said to her.

Now, he was sure he really ruined his chance of fixing things. He hadn't been able to even entertain the idea of meeting with her when he still didn't know. However, as midnight passed, he began to realise slowly, he really wanted to return.

Once two rolled around, he realised he had managed to destroy his marriage.

She was right, he was a coward.

While he would have believed the baby would be better off with a father who wasn't a coward, the idea of Tonks ever moving on from him was something he didn't even want to entertain. He loved her, he hoped she still loved him.

A few days after he was meant to meet her, he went back to the house, but remained away until he knew Kingsley was gone. If Kingsley was there, things would not be easy.

Not that he expected Tonks to welcome him back immediately, she was probably very upset by the fact he hadn't shown up.

As soon as he saw Kingsley leave, he headed to the house. It felt appropriate to knock instead of simply entering. It wasn't his home anymore, not until she allowed it to be.

It wasn't Tonks who opened the door.

Instead, it was Sirius, and he didn't look too pleased to see Remus. "I'd ask you to prove yourself, but only the real Remus would be stupid enough to think he could show up here."

"Did she tell you?" Remus asked.

"It took a few days, but yes." Sirius said. "What's wrong with you?"

"A lot, apparently." Remus said. "Is Dora here?"

"Maybe."

"Sirius, I want to talk to her."

"No." Sirius said, crossing his arms. "She's been crying for two days. I may have caused it, but-"

"You _caused it_?" Remus demanded. "What did you do?"

"You never mind what I did." Sirius snapped. "I may have accidentally upset her, but she's been crying about you abandoning her. Kingsley's ready to go after you, he's really angry."

"Please let me talk to her."

"No."

"Let me talk to my wife, Sirius." Remus repeated.

Sirius straightened up, a clear sign he was ready to to do anything to keep Remus from entering the house. Remus had only seen Sirius behave this way once- back when Sirius had thought Remus was the spy and the two had argued, blaming each other. Three weeks later, James and Lily were dead.

Remus knew this wasn't going to work, so he left. The next day, he tried again, hoping perhaps Sirius and the trio had left again. They hadn't.

He tried everyday for a week, until he finally gave in and approached the house when Kingsley was there. As Sirius had said, Kingsley was very angry. Remus couldn't blame him.

* * *

Tonks really hated her mind sometimes.

She had been having issues getting comfortable at night every once in a while, and had taken the spare pillows from her bed(once Remus', now hers again) and had placed one between her knees and under her bump, the other behind her back. It helped, but then she always wondered why she felt like she was extremely big for the week of pregnancy she was in.

And, of course, her mind came to the worst conclusion- was she pregnant with twins? Could one be Remus', one be Rodolphus'? When she voiced this concern to Kingsley and Sirius, she realised it was a mistake. They were men, did they know much about this? Of course not, they just seemed confused. Kingsley, however, offered to contact Hestia to get her brother to come talk to Tonks.

When Leo arrived, he listened patiently to Tonks, and then he had said she really wasn't very big for this stage of pregnancy, and offered to do the gender reveal spell. If there were twins, two balls of colour would appear above her abdomen. If not, only one. She allowed it, but kept her eyes covered, because she still wanted it to be a surprise. Leo respected this, and only told her one ball of colour had appeared, but not what colour it was.

That made her feel a little better.

As she left her room with Leo, they came downstairs to find the living room full of boxes. She walked Leo to the back door and then returned to the living room. "What's all of this?" Tonks asked. Hermione was helping Kingsley and Sirius sort through the boxes, while Ron and Harry were nowhere to be seen.

"You need baby stuff, we finally got around to getting it out." Sirius said. "Kingsley said it was in the attic. However-"

"Alastor moved it at some point, it was downstairs." Kingsley said. Ron and Harry slipped by her, carrying another box each.

"How much stuff could a baby possibly need?" Tonks asked.

"Well, there are blankets, toys, clothes, bottles, pacifiers, the crib... one of these boxes has shrunken furniture from when we turned a bedroom into a nursery for you, and a lot of this stuff is probably the things we got as gifts from other Order members who wanted to help us out." Kingsley said. "And if you can believe it, it's not all here either. We gave some of the things we hadn't used to Molly when she had Ginny."

"Well, the baby isn't going to have a nursery for a while, so we really only need the crib." Tonks said. "As for everything else, I'm going to guess I won't need this much stuff."

"It's not all just from when you were a newborn, that's why we need to sort it." Kingsley explained. "A lot of this you won't need for a few months."

The next day, Sirius and the trio left again, almost a week and a half after arriving back. Sirius had said that they felt they were making progress if they kept moving, even if it meant they'd spend a few days camping.

That was the day Remus came home.

Whenever someone knocked, Kingsley or Sirius always answered, wands ready. Tonks had been upstairs in the shower when Remus showed up, and came downstairs partway through their 'talk'. Kingsley had sent her away again, and she returned upstairs.

An hour later, Remus knocked on her open bedroom door.

"Kingsley lectured me, he said it was up to you in the end." Remus said. "If you'll let me, I'd like to come home."

Tonks wanted to immediately say yes, but as she looked at Remus, she realised she could use this to her advantage. Sure, that'd be a rotten thing to do, but he definitely looked as if he'd be willing to do absolutely anything to fix their marriage.

She was right. Absolutely anything she needed, he was right there to do it or get it for her. When Sirius and the kids returned, the two of them argued and stopped talking to each other for nearly a week.

After a while, Sirius' stubbornness gave out and the fight was over.

Her birthday passed quietly. She wasn't one to generally celebrate anyway, so it didn't bother her.

By the end of February, Kingsley and Remus had managed to get the crib set up in their room, on Tonks' side of the bed. She was glad Remus was willing to do absolutely anything to help her, and some nights, gave up one of his pillows so she could have it between her knees and under her bump, while he spent a large chunk of the evening rubbing her back slowly. Sometimes, he'd trace circles on her abdomen, following the baby's movements.

While Molly had said she had trouble sleeping whenever the baby was active, Tonks had to admit she liked it. She found it relaxing to lay in bed, Remus tracing slow circles on her bump, the baby reacting every few moments.

By the time the crib was set up, she had softened towards Remus again. She figured a month and a half of coldness was appropriate. They sat down together and had a long talk. By the end of it, they weren't sure where their relationship would stand, but they wanted to work towards being together for the baby.

After all, they loved each other in July, surely they could love each other again.

One thing she didn't enjoy was false contractions. While they were painless, but sometimes stronger than other times, she sometimes felt mildly frustrated. Between her sore back, and these intermittent contractions, she wasn't always in a good mood.

She did appreciate the fact her body had to prepare for labour, but on the third of March, found out that wouldn't be necessary at all.


	23. Chapter 23

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

Warning: I'm not a nice writer. This chapter will be... not graphic, but... there's torture and attempted murder.

* * *

He had tried to fight it.

Unfortunately, he was weakened by months of imprisonment and torture, and he knew it was only a matter of time before they resorted to it. He had been held down, forced to drink Veritaserum.

"Where's the house?" Bellatrix asked.

Alastor felt himself answering, unable to stop himself.

Bellatrix grinned, raising her own wand. "Imperio."

Again, he tried to fight, this is what he had been trained for, but he couldn't fight. It felt as if someone else had control over his body, which was true. Anything they asked, he would tell. Anything they told him to do, he would do.

"Take us to the house." Bellatrix said, shoving a wand into his hand.

Alastor couldn't help but obey, and he Side-Along Apparated with them.

"Remove the enchantments." Bellatrix demanded, and Alastor obeyed once again. Alastor really hoped that if they stayed there, Kingsley had altered the enchantments so that Alastor was unable to access the house, but he hadn't. Perhaps Kingsley hadn't thought to, maybe Kingsley thought he was dead. The enchantments fell, and the house became visible. " _Homenum Revelio_."

He knew she could cast all of these spells without saying a word, but she wanted him to hear. Knowing he couldn't fight the Veritaserum and the Imperius Curse, why not make sure he knew exactly what she was doing?

"Two people." Bellatrix said. "Dolohov, take _Mad-Eye_ back to the Manor. He's no use to us anymore. Rabastan, with me."

* * *

"Alright, we're leaving." Sirius said, entering the living room. "We'll be back by sundown, I'm sure. We just want to check a few places out. I mean, you two are great company, but..."

"You're an arse." Tonks muttered, not lifting her head from the arm of the couch. Remus laughed quietly.

"We'll be here, as always." Remus said.

"I know it's boring, mate." Sirius said. "But, look at this way, you two get to do whatever you want when we're all gone."

"Yes, because we have such a wide variety of things to do." Tonks remarked. "Should we read the baby books again? Perhaps we organise the kitchen again? Or, perhaps, we have time to do both."

Remus continued rubbing her ankle slowly, smiling slightly.

"Well, we'll be back in a few hours. If we not back tonight, we're dead." Sirius said.

"Good to know." Remus responded as Sirius went back into the kitchen. Kingsley was gone with Bill and the twins, probably doing another Potterwatch broadcast or patrol.

Tonks was tired, and she was debating on going upstairs to take a nap, but couldn't really decide on whether or not she wanted to get up. Remus continued rubbing her ankles and feet slowly, which felt nice. They didn't always talk much, but they didn't need to.

After the events following the December full moon, they somehow had become closer. Perhaps because they had agreed not to hide anything from each other anymore, and Remus had fully admitted that near full moon, the wolf seemed to feel extremely threatened by any small hint she had ever been near anyone else. She had been able to forgive him. Strangely, it hadn't been something difficult to do, even though she had enjoyed using it to her advantage for a few weeks. She understood how he felt around the full moon, and she couldn't even find a reason to be angry. He wasn't even angry at her for hiding the fact they weren't really married, he simply asked if she'd be willing to marry him properly after war. She had said yes immediately. He still wore his ring, choosing to continue referring to her as his wife. She unfortunately had to stop wearing her rings, because her fingers had been swollen the last couple of weeks. She was looking forward to being able to wear them again.

Somehow, the last few weeks had helped their relationship. They were content to sit quietly with each other, just enjoying the other's presence, and it was quiet for another hour or so, she figured, before Remus spoke.

"So, what are you thinking?" Remus asked, breaking through her thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"You're thinking about something."

"You." She said, lifting her head. "And whether or not I want to take a nap."

"Take a nap with me, perhaps?" Remus suggested. "I'm not tired, but I would be a terrible fiance if I didn't rub your back until you fell asleep."

"Well, you'd be a better fiance if you felt like getting me some ice cream."

"I suppose I could do that."

"Maybe vanilla ice cream with chocolate and peanut butter?"

Remus lifted her feet, setting them on the couch and standing. "I can do that. I assume you'd still prefer it if the chocolate and peanut butter didn't touch?" He asked, and she nodded. "Is Honeydukes chocolate alright?"

She nodded again, smiling. "You're the best." She said. Her ice cream craving had been one of the stranger ones, but he never commented on it.

She watched as Remus walked into the kitchen. "Dora, upstairs now!" She heard Remus yell a second later.

A moment later, she heard the back door slam open. Without thinking, Tonks grabbed her wand and rushed to the kitchen. She froze, eyes wide as she saw Bellatrix and Rabastan standing in the kitchen, Rabastan holding Remus' wand, a spell pinning Remus against the wall.

"Well, look at this." Bellatrix said, her eyes drifting to Tonks' bump. "How... interesting."

Tonks turned, planning to run to the front door and out, but Rabastan was right behind her, his arms wrapping around her, dragging her back to the kitchen. She screamed, trying to get out of his grip, but he was too strong for her. He wrestled her wand from her hand, pushing her to the ground in the kitchen. She caught herself on her hands and knees, and Bellatrix leaned over her.

"Well, Nymphadora, it appears I won't be killing you today after all." Bellatrix said. "Rabastan, tie up the werewolf. We'll kill him after."

Tonks couldn't move, and she felt ashamed. She was an Auror, she should be protecting her baby, but instead she was simply terrified. When Bellatrix grabbed her hair, pulling her to her feet, she didn't fight. Rabastan had restrained Remus in a kitchen chair, ropes appearing from the end of his wand and tying themselves around Remus tightly.

"Your best option is not to lie." Bellatrix said calmly. "How far along are you?"

Tonks was quiet, she couldn't answer.

"Just by looking at you, I'd guess you're in your third trimester." Bellatrix said. "However, you weren't pregnant when I last saw you, or you would have miscarried... and that means I can safely assume you conceived in July. Am I right, Nymphadora? Did you conceive in July? Perhaps... the last couple of days?"

Tonks still couldn't say anything. She felt like she was about to be sick.

"Judging by your silence, I'm right, aren't I?" Bellatrix asked, taking a dagger from her robes. "And do you realise what this means, Rabastan?" Bellatrix asked, as she trailed the dagger slowly down Tonks' neck until the tip of it was resting on her bump. "It means the Lestrange family has an heir after all."

* * *

Remus felt terrible as he watched Tonks. She looked terrified, unable to speak, and he was unable to save her. He struggle against the ropes, trying to free his hands, but the ropes seemed to tighten every time he moved.

"Rabastan, hold her down." Bellatrix said. Rabastan obeyed, dragging Tonks to the floor. Tonks tried to fight Rabastan, but he held down her arms while Bellatrix straddled her legs.

The scream was the most horrible sound Remus had ever heard. Remus struggled against the robes binding his wrist, trying to ignore her screams as Bellatrix carved their child from her body. He couldn't look. He could smell the blood, he couldn't see it too. Her screaming was long and drawn out, the agony she was experiencing made Remus want to die. Torture him, just let her go.

The back door burst open, and Remus looked up in time to see four people enter the kitchen. Kingsley immediately went for Bellatrix and Bill followed him, the twins went for Rabastan.

There was a loud crack and Rabastan was gone, apparently he was uninterested in fighting. The twins turned towards Bellatrix, Bill and Kingsley, and Bellatrix narrowed her eyes. She seemed to realise she was outnumbered, and at a severe disadvantage- her arms were wrapped around something that Kingsley was trying to grab. Resorting to something that seemed entirely unlike Bellatrix Lestrange, she kicked at Kingsley, who shoved her with his elbow just as she Apparated.

The silence in the kitchen was deafening. The twins disappeared outside, saying something about enchantments and Bill rushed to Remus.

Was that it? Did they really give up that quickly?

"Remus, for the love of Merlin, stop struggling for two seconds!" Bill snapped. Remus went still, but his eyes were now on Tonks, who had fallen silent as soon as the Order members had arrived. She wasn't moving, and Remus wondered if she was dead.

Kingsley was standing by Tonks' feet, his back to Tonks and Remus, facing the back door. "Bill, go get your mother and then contact Hestia to get her brother." Kingsley said calmly, and Remus was almost infuriated by how calm he was. Kingsley turned around to face Remus, and Remus realised he was holding the baby.

They had gotten the baby out, and the baby wasn't crying or moving.

Panic surged through Remus, terrified that he had just lost Tonks and the baby. Blood was still spreading along the floor, and Remus felt ill, trying to get to Tonks before Bill even got through the charmed bonds.

There was so much blood. Was it all hers? Was it the baby's too? She couldn't be alive, there was no way she was still alive.

Remus realised his hands were freed and jumped to his feet, rushing to Tonks as Bill left through the back door. Kingsley walked around Remus, disappearing from the kitchen. A few moments later, Remus heard the baby begin to cry, and the sound faded- Kingsley must have headed upstairs.

"Dora, stay awake." Remus said, pushing Tonks' hair away from her face. The knees of his pants were soaked with blood in seconds, but he ignored it. "We'll heal you, we will-"

"The baby...?" She asked weakly.

"Kingsley has him."

"Him...?"

"Yes, Dora, we have a son. Bellatrix and Rabastan are gone." Remus said. "Dora, I don't have my wand, I can't- I can't do anything."

Remus heard footsteps behind him, and stood quickly. The baby was now wrapped in a blanket, but Remus could still see there was blood on the baby's skin and Kingsley's shirt. "Remus, take him." Kingsley instructed. Remus listened, because Kingsley had a wand and Remus didn't- Kingsley was the best option for Tonks.

He took the baby and moved out of the way. He looked down at the baby who was staring at him with wide, dark eyes. Remus felt his heart flutter as he looked down at the baby, _his_ baby. Remus noticed the baby had Tonks' nose and chin- he had seen a few pictures of her courtesy of Kingsley. However, Remus noticed, the baby also resembled his own pictures.

Perhaps it was just his hopeful wishing, or perhaps it was real- he felt like the baby was a perfect mix of Tonks and himself, he couldn't see any resemblance to Rodolphus Lestrange.

"It's alright, Dora. I promise, you'll be alright." Kingsley was saying, and he began to mutter healing spells. "Just stay with us. Dora, just look at me. Focus on me. Stay with me."

They could hear someone in the yard, and assumed it was just the twins. However, a moment later, Sirius appeared at the back door. "What- Dora." Sirius whispered, and then his eyes wandered to Remus, landing on the baby. "Holy shit. Who-?"

"Bellatrix." Remus said.

"Bellatrix did _this_?" Sirius asked, looking horrified.

"Yes." Kingsley said. "Dora, stay with me. Please stay awake, focus on me."

Sirius turned towards the yard again. "Hermione, Dittany!" He yelled, and then entered the kitchen.

"It's not healing, the spells aren't working." Kingsley said, and Remus was beginning to feel discouraged by the fact Kingsley was starting to sound a little panicked. "Where's the knife?"

"The knife?" Remus asked.

"Yes, the knife!" Kingsley snapped. "She didn't have it when I grabbed the baby!"

Sirius looked around, and then headed for the table. Under one of the chairs, the knife lay. Kingsley stood, grabbing it from Sirius as soon as Sirius retrieved it.

"Oh, my God."

Remus looked up to see Hermione frozen at the back door, her eyes wide. She was holding the Dittany, but seemed unable to move and unable to tear her eyes away from Tonks. Remus looked down at Tonks, whose eyes were half closed now. She didn't have long left, not at this rate.

"Sirius, try the Dittany." Kingsley said, heading for the sink. Sirius moved immediately, taking the Dittany from Hermione and gesturing for Hermione to go back outside. Kingsley grabbed a towel, wiping blood from the blade. "Green."

"Green?" Remus asked, and Kingsley turned away from the sink. He held up the knife, showing them the green blade.

"The Dittany won't work. This green blade, and the amount of blood... it'll be Sanguis Poison. The blood won't clot naturally, and spells won't heal the wound. We can't do anything without an antidote."

"What's the antidote?" Remus demanded.

"It's nearly impossible to brew." Kingsley said, dropping the knife onto the counter. "If Leo can't get any, she won't survive."

Remus could tell Kingsley was losing hope. He walked back to Tonks, waving his wand to remove as much blood as he could. He knelt by her head, lifting her upper body into his lap. Her eyes opened a little bit more, but then drifted partially shut again.

"Just hold on a little longer, Dora." Kingsley whispered in her ear. "Leo will help you, I promise."

Tonks' eyes opened enough to look up at Kingsley. "Thank you." She whispered.

"For what?" Kingsley asked.

"For never letting me feel like anything but your daughter."

Kingsley pressed a kiss to her hair, which was losing the blue rapidly- her strength was fading fast. "You _are_ my daughter. I was there for your first steps, and your first words. And you're going to be there for all of those moments with your son, too. I promise, Dora."

"Remus, let her see the baby." Sirius said quietly. Remus walked over to Kingsley and Tonks, kneeling down as well. She wouldn't have the strength to hold the baby, but she'd at least meet him.

"Is there anything we can do?" Hermione asked, tears on her cheeks. Remus wasn't sure when they had all come back inside.

"No." Sirius said. "Not until Leo gets here."

Tonks lifted her head away from Kingsley's chest, and slowly reached one hand to brush a finger over the baby's cheek. She lowered her hand, tracing her finger down the baby's tiny arm, to his hand, which closed into a small fist around her finger.

A very brief smile passed over Tonks' lips, and then her eyes closed, her head falling back against Kingsley's chest, her hand falling onto the floor next to her.

"Is she..?" Sirius began to ask.

"She's breathing." Kingsley said quietly. "Just unconscious."

"Oh, God, finally!" One of the twins said. "Leo's here."

They could hear someone heading up the back steps, and looked up to see Molly and Leo enter the kitchen. Remus stood, moving out of the way, and Molly approached him. Leo approached Kingsley, kneeling.

"We found the knife, it's tinted green. She won't stop bleeding, healing spells have done nothing." Kingsley said.

"Sanguis Poison, perhaps." Leo said, feeling for Tonks' neck. "She still has a pulse, she's still breathing. Do you have any blood replenishing potions?"

"Yes, a few." Sirius said, walking over to the cupboard.

"Bring me two. Kingsley, help me get her upstairs. Somewhere more comfortable." Leo said. "I'll go to St Mungo's, we have a lot of antidotes on hand. We'll give her a blood replenishing potion now, and again in half an hour. We can't stop the bleeding without an antidote, but it will stop her from bleeding to death."

"And if St Mungo's doesn't have it?"

"If they don't, I'll bring more blood replenishing potions. They'll keep her alive for a while longer. I'll make a report saying I need the antidote, it'll be brewed in a few days at most." Leo explained, taking the potions from Sirius as Kingsley lifted Tonks. Remus felt like he was going to vomit when he saw blood actually _dripping_ from Tonks' body.

Molly was examining the baby in Remus' arms. "He seems alert, and that's good. Was he injured?" Molly asked, and Remus finally tore his eyes away from Tonks.

"I don't know, I don't think so." Remus said. Molly took the baby from Remus, setting him on the table, spreading the blanket out. She summoned a towel, dampening it, and began cleaning the baby's skin. Remus watched as Molly cleaned the baby, watching her talk quietly to the baby the entire time. Remus felt his heart constrict as the baby's dark hair shifted to a shade similar to Molly's.

Truly his mother's son.

Leo entered the kitchen again. "Kingsley's going to stay with her until I get back." Leo explained to Remus. "I've dealt with the placenta, done every postpartum thing I can do right now. I'll be back within the hour. Molly, how's the baby?"

"Oh, he's lovely. Not as small as one would expect a premature baby to be, but perhaps that's good." Molly said, wrapping the blanket around the baby again. "Alert, everything seems normal. He'll be due for his first feeding soon, though."

"St Mungo's generally has a supply of breast milk from our wet nurses for when a mother can't feed the baby right away. I'll bring a bottle back, we'll discuss the options when I return." Leo said.

"What can we do?" Hermione asked.

"Fred, George, Bill, keep watch by the boundaries." Remus said. "In case the Death Eaters try to return. Harry, Ron, join them. Hermione, perhaps you, Molly and Sirius can..." His eyes drifted to the blood that had pooled in the short time since Kingsley had cleaned it.

"We'll clean up." Sirius said. "There's nothing else to do anyway. Take the baby upstairs, Remus. You should be with her, just in case."


	24. Chapter 24

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

* * *

Sirius, Hermione and Molly were quick to clean up the blood. It had been trailed into the hallway and up the stairs by Kingsley- when he had gone up the first time and when he had carried Tonks up the second time- but a few spells later, no blood remained. Sirius seemed to be staring at his watch, muttering every few minutes when Leo still didn't show up, but not really reading the time. After all, he had no idea what time it was when Leo left.

The twins, Bill, Ron and Harry joined them inside after a while, Bill saying that they were certain the Death Eaters wouldn't return. Kingsley would have to redo the spell that made everyone forget the address, but no one wanted to ask him to leave Tonks until Leo returned.

Sirius felt himself become tense with every tiny sound, he was just waiting for Remus or Kingsley to come downstairs and say Tonks was dead.

Molly made tea, but it simply sat and got cold. No one said much. Tonks had known that Weasleys since she had been brought to Kingsley and Alastor's home, because Molly had provided advice to them. Sirius couldn't say much, because he was very angry that this had happened. Hermione looked a little ill, picking at the edges of her fingernails absentmindedly. She had been friendly with the older witch since the first time they met a few years before, and Sirius knew the two were fond of each other.

Finally, they heard the back door open, and Sirius jumped to his feet as Leo walked through the kitchen door, carrying two small crates. "You got it?" Sirius asked, grabbing one of the crates.

"I've got four potions here, come upstairs, it'll help more if a few of you know about them." Leo said, and they headed upstairs.

"Four potions?" Sirius asked.

"Well, six, really." Leo explained, bumping the bedroom door open with his foot. Kingsley and Remus were sitting on either side of Tonks, the baby was asleep in Remus' arms. "I've got everything." Leo explained, as he opened one of the crates and pulled out a vial of dark blue liquid.

Kingsley and Remus stood as Leo set one crate on the dresser. Sirius followed, setting the second down. Leo walked over to the bed, muttering spells to clear the blood away. He uncorked the vial, placing a hand under Tonks' head gently and tilting her head upwards slightly. He poured the vial into her mouth, setting her head on the pillow again. A few moments later, he lifted the hem of her shirt, muttering healing spells.

Sirius felt himself sigh in relief when the wound actually began to heal, and when Leo cleared away the remnant blood, no new blood appeared.

"It's unfortunately not that easy." Leo said. "I've written this down as well, the parchment should be with the potions, but she needs a dose of the antidote twice a day. You can do it twelve hours apart, six hours apart, four apart- I don't care. Twice in a twenty four hour period, at least a few hours apart, to give her a chance to rest from the side effects each time. I've brought three more blood replenishing potions. Give her one each day for three days, starting tomorrow. There's also pain potion, mixed with a fever reducer. The antidote can cause pretty bad fevers and chills, so give her one of the pain potions every four hours, at a minimum. I've also heard of a few cases where a few who have been given the antidote have dealt with excessive vomiting, but we can discuss that if it becomes an issue. The pain potion might wear off sooner than four hours, but unfortunately, pain potions can't be taken any closer together-"

"What can we do, in that case?" Kingsley asked. "If she wakes up and is in pain, but we can't give her anything?"

"That's what this final potion is for." Leo said. "There's a white paste in a single tub. Apply a thin layer to the wound once a day. It'll help heal any bruising and any tenderness. Other than that, just rest as much as possible, try a warm cloth as well. There should be enough of everything for two weeks. I'll be here before I'm due at St Mungo's for a shift, and after my shift to check on her. However, I believe between you three, she should be in capable hands."

"Are we just going to let her wake up on her own?" Remus asked.

"Yes, she lost a lot of blood, so it may be best to let her body rest." Leo said, and he walked back over to the crate. "That's what this is for." He said, holding up a vial of dark amber liquid. "It will keep her from becoming dehydrated or starving, or really anything, until she wakes up. And when she wakes up, she may not want to eat or drink right away, and this will It's quite useful, considering Muggles use feeding tubes and IVs for this sort of thing."

"And she'll survive?" Kingsley asked.

"It's hard to say, but the worst is over." Leo said. "Now, for the baby... I brought one bottle from our wet nurses, but I have thought of something that would benefit both of them."

Leo opened the second crate, pulling out a strange device that Sirius honestly had never seen before.

"It's generally used by Muggles, but it's called a breast pump. It will help Nymphadora's milk come in, provide the baby with the first of it- which is important-"

"No." Remus said, firmly. "I know what that is, I'm not _milking_ my wife while she lays here dying."

Leo looked a little startled, but nodded. "Well, seeing as the worst has been healed, you could probably prop her up and help the baby simply nurse. Or, do what Kingsley did when he adopted Nymphadora, and use Muggle formula."

"I'm pretty sure Dora planned to breastfeed." Remus said, and Sirius wondered why Remus was being so stubborn. Did it really matter?

"Remus, mate, you may have to think of other options." Sirius said slowly.

"We can make that work." Leo said. "Kingsley, Sirius, if you could wait in the hall for a few moments? I'm going to work with Remus to help the baby nurse, and he can help me get Nymphadora into clean clothes."

They left the room, standing quietly in the hall for a few moments before Kingsley spoke. "She hasn't read it, you know." Kingsley said. "The letter from her parents."

"Did she say why?"

Kingsley shook his head. "She doesn't hate them, though, you must know that."

"Well, I don't think she loves them."

"I'm fairly certain she does." Kingsley said. "She just struggled with it for a while. She didn't know the full story, and that was our fault. She just thought she had been left behind by them. She met her Dad's parents when she was fourteen-"

"Did she really?"

"They wanted to raise her. We wanted to keep her." Kingsley said. "So we made an agreement. She'd spend every other Christmas and every other summer with them. The first summer she went to spend with them, she lasted a month. She ran away, Muggle police found her a few blocks away and brought her back to us."

"Did she say what happened?"

Kingsley nodded. "They blamed her and her mother for Ted's disappearance and death. Or, his mother did really. Ted's father apparently never said much. Dora tried to kill herself a few days after she came back here. I found her."

"Dora tried..."

Kingsley nodded. "After that, we told her everything we knew. Absolutely everything." He said. "You mocked us for being overprotective of her, but Sirius, someone has to be, right?"

Sirius was quiet for a moment. "Kingsley, if she dies... I'm really glad she had you and Alastor. She was always your daughter, and I'm really happy she found a place after her parents were gone."

Kingsley was quiet for a moment. "I couldn't imagine my life without her, Sirius. I'm sure it would have been a lot different if we hadn't been given the chance to be fathers. I just really hope this isn't the end."

* * *

"Arms here." Leo explained, wrapping his arms under Tonks' arms, pulling her up gently to lean her up against the headboard. "She won't feel you moving her, it won't make the injury worse. When she's awake, have her wrap her arms around you, it'll hurt her, but don't let her move too much on her own. Did you find clothes?"

Remus nodded. Leo was quick but gentle, he simply tore the shirt from where Bellatrix had cut it, pulling it off of Tonks' arms. He took the top from Remus, pulling it over Tonks' head. Remus felt mildly jealous for a split moment that Leo had no hesitation at exposing Tonks' chest, but had to remind himself that Leo was a Healer, he was helping Remus and Tonks. He stepped back to let Remus handle the rest of Tonks' clothes, and Remus knew he was going to throw away the bloodied clothes no matter what. He hadn't kept the clothes from the attack in July, he wouldn't be keeping these.

Leo went on to explain how to hold the baby so the baby could nurse, and left a while later, after making sure Remus was confident enough to move Tonks if he needed to.

They spent most of the following days sitting with her, because neither wanted to be away from her if something happened, neither talking much.

"Remus, you should consider naming the baby." Sirius said, when he joined them on the second day. "He can't simply be 'the baby' forever."

"Dora deserves a say." Remus said, setting the baby on Tonks' chest gently, sitting next to her. Kingsley was leaning against the headboard, holding one of Tonks' hands, seemingly not paying attention to the other two in the room.

"Did you two not discuss a name?" Sirius asked.

"We discussed names, but we didn't decide." Remus explained. "I'm not choosing without her."

"Mate, I hate to say it, but-"

"Then don't." Remus said firmly.

"She may not wake up." Sirius said, ignoring Remus. "You may need to think about naming the baby."

Remus sighed, looking down at the baby, who was slowly falling asleep. Sometimes the baby would cry and be restless until he was set on her chest, where he'd sleep peacefully. Remus would always stay sitting next to them, on the slim chance Tonks might shift- which she had done once or twice and made them think she was waking up- and he liked to watch them together anyway.

"I'm waiting for Dora." Remus said, and Sirius sighed, but didn't continue. Sometimes, Remus dozed off, but only for a few minutes at a time. Every time he did, he had the same dream.

It would start with him hearing Tonks crying out in pain, and he'd find himself kneeling next to their bed, Tonks clutching one of his hands. Leo and Molly were standing near the end of the bed. Another cry, and a moment later, Molly placed a baby on Tonks' chest. _A boy_ , Leo always said with a grin. _What should we name him_? Remus always found himself asking. Tonks looked up at him, tears on her cheeks, an exhausted smile...

Remus always woke up before she answered, in the same position he usually spent a lot of the day in. He'd spend some time sitting next to the bed, but sometimes he was worried he'd miss the slightest sign of some kind of distress, so he'd lay on the bed, his forehead against her shoulder, listening to her breathing. It was comforting, in a way, just to hear her breathing and to watch the slow rise and fall of her chest.

Kingsley usually simply sat there, holding one of Tonks' hands, staring at it. Whenever the baby was hungry, Kingsley left the room so that Remus could prop Tonks up and allow the baby to nurse.

On the third day, Sirius insisted they needed sleep and kicked Kingsley and Remus out of the bedroom, sending Kingsley to his own bed and Remus to Sirius'.

Remus fell asleep quickly, not realising how exhausted he was.

 _He was laying next to her, his arm wrapped around her, his hand gently cupping one of her breasts. It wasn't uncommon for them to sleep naked at this point. After all, Kingsley and Alastor had told them to keep a Silencing Charm up, and that they would only enter the room if Death Eaters came around- so Tonks was very relaxed about doing this. He pressed a kiss to the back of her shoulder, trailing his hand down her breast and down her waist, over her hip and towards her inner thigh._

 _He never thought of himself as a needy man, but he couldn't resist her. She sighed softly, her hand reaching back and stroking him._

 _"Good morning." He whispered as she turned her head, their lips meeting gently. She smiled against his mouth, as he shifted so he was leaning over her. He looked down at her, and her smile faded._

 _"Dora?" He asked._

 _"What are you doing?" She asked, frowning, her eyes looking panicked._

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _"Let me go."_

 _The scene shifted, and suddenly, he was leaning over her in a dark room, her clothes torn. Someone was laughing, and his body seemed to be controlled by someone else. She began to struggle, and he felt himself pressing his hands into her hips, holding her down. He looked up to see Bellatrix kneeling by her head, holding her arms down, laughing loudly as Tonks struggled and tried to free herself._

 _He looked down, watching his own movements, his fingers digging into her hips deeper, the Dark Mark on his arm burning slightly- the Dark Lord would no doubt be wanting information. She was young, her body was fit and firm in the exact places it should be, her few years as an Auror hadn't scarred her yet._

 _It wasn't difficult for him to finish quickly, and he purposefully made sure he thrust as hard and deep as he could- why not cause as much pain for her as possible? It only made her struggle more, and he_ _r struggling only made it better, in his opinion._

Remus woke up in a sweat, his heart pounding. Why would he dream that? Of all things...

While his wife was possibly dying, possibly before ever holding her own son, he had dreamed that he had been Rodolphus the night she was raped. The details, the thoughts... they had all been so realistic.

He got up, refusing to sleep any further. He felt shaken by the dream, and walked back to the bedroom, where Sirius was pacing, the baby in his arms. He looked up as Remus entered. "It's only been an hour, you can't have gotten much sleep." Sirius said.

"I need to find out." Remus said, walking over to the dresser, where the books were. "I need to know if he's mine."

"Are you alright, mate?"

"I just want to know. I just want to know if we have to keep an eye on him before full moon." Remus said.

"I thought it didn't matter."

"It doesn't." Remus snapped. "At least, not- Sirius, I'm going to be honest here. I don't care who it was that- I don't care whose- well, I don't care who fathered that baby-"

"You don't care whose sperm did the deed."

"Well- I guess if you wish to be so crude, yes." Remus said. "If I wasn't a werewolf, I wouldn't be finding out at all. That's the only reason I want to know."

"Remus, I thought you were planning to find out anyway." Sirius said. "What's wrong, mate?"

Remus kept flipping through the pages, swearing quietly when he gave himself a paper cut.

" _Moony_."

Remus finally turned to face Sirius. " _What_ _?_ " He demanded.

"What's wrong?" Sirius repeated. Remus knew Sirius knew he was lying. This had been stuff he had brought up before, and Sirius knew Remus far too well.

"My wife was raped, Sirius." Remus said. "And to think- God, we suspected. None of us did anything, though. No contraceptive potion, nothing. We just sat there, while his _sperm_ was in her body. Do you ever think how she felt? That she knew, while it was happening, that she'd be simply stuck in that house for Merlin knows how long, Rodolphus _using_ her in that way? And then later, to realise that out of all of us who wanted to help her, none of us did _anything, Sirius_! And now- now look what happened! All of this because at least _Bellatrix_ knows how Dora conceived the baby! And it sure as Hell wasn't _my_ doing!"

There was a gasp at the door, and they both looked to see Hermione standing there, holding a tray of tea. "I'm sorry!" She squeaked. "I didn't mean to- to hear, but- well, I thought- I thought maybe you'd want tea." Hermione managed to say.

"Thank you, Hermione." Sirius said quietly. "Perhaps just leave it with the books on the dresser."

Remus didn't realise he was crying until he felt something dripping down his cheeks. He turned away from Sirius and Hermione, looking at Tonks, who was pale and still on the bed. He wasn't sure how much Hermione had heard, and didn't want to.

"She's going to die, Sirius." Remus said quietly. "And we're just waiting for it to happen."

Unfortunately, all they could do was wait.


	25. Chapter 25

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

* * *

"Hermione, we want to talk to you." Sirius said, and Hermione followed him quickly and quietly upstairs and into the bedroom. Sirius noticed she was avoiding his gaze, like a child who had been caught breaking the rules. "Hermione, we're not angry. How much did you hear?"

"I didn't think you were." Hermione said calmly, but Sirius noticed she seemed a little more relaxed at this. She sighed. "I only heard the Bellatrix remark. The one about how Bellatrix knew how Dor- how Tonks conceived. But really, you don't have to explain. It's not my business-"

"Hermione, listen." Sirius said, and Hermione fell quiet. "I don't know how much you actually heard, but it definitely wasn't enough to understand the situation properly. You can understand, can't you, that Remus has had a rough few days?"

" _Remus_ has? From what I heard, Tonks may have had it worse-"

Sirius held up his hand, and Hermione fell quiet again. "I'm only going to tell you this because I'd rather you didn't end up with the wrong assumptions about the wrong people- mainly about Dora and Remus." Sirius said. "When Dora went on that mission in July, it ended badly. As you know." Hermione nodded. "Bellatrix decided the best way to get information was to torture Dora. She apparently decided the best way to do that was to subject Dora to unimaginable things. Dora was raped, and beaten, and probably a lot of other things that she hasn't told us yet. We don't know how many times she was raped, or how many people were actually involved. All we know is that she ended up pregnant at some point between her marriage to Remus and the day she returned from to us from the mission. She's only ever mentioned Rodolphus, so that's who we assume."

"And the baby- he's Rodolphus'?" Hermione asked, frowning slightly.

"That's what Bellatrix believed. That's why she did this." Sirius said, gesturing to Tonks. "However, from what I've heard, admitted by both Dora and Remus, they were a little careless the morning before Dora's mission. So we don't know."

"But what Remus just said-"

"Remus is confused." Sirius said. "Because of his condition, he claims he's always been _very_ careful, so he didn't end up in this exact position of having to worry about whether he could pass his condition on. However, he has admitted that there is a possibility they forgot. Which I wouldn't be surprised about. They spent quite a while alone together in the days leading up to that mission."

"I don't think you should be telling me any of this." Hermione said, glancing at Remus, who didn't say anything, but continued to stroke Tonks' hair slowly.

"I just don't want anyone getting the wrong idea. That's the only reason we're telling you." Sirius said. "Poor kid isn't even a week old yet, and he's caused quite a few arguments. I think it's time to put those arguments to rest. We're going to brew the potion, we're going to find out for sure."

"What happens if he isn't Remus'?" Hermione asked.

"Nothing." Remus said. "We tell Dora he's mine either way. No one else has to know."

"I won't tell anyone about this." Hermione said. "You really didn't have to explain to me, it's not anyone's business-"

"Well, we didn't want you to make the wrong assumptions." Remus said. "You're a brilliant witch, you wouldn't have been able to pretend you hadn't heard what I said. You would have wanted answers, I'm sure."

That evening, the potion that would tell them the baby's paternity was made, but there wasn't much celebration in the fact the baby was Remus'- there wasn't much to celebrate when Tonks was still lingering somewhere between life and death. Kingsley seemed relieved, but didn't say much about it. He had slept for a few hours, missing the discussion with Hermione, and then sat beside Tonks for the rest of the night. He hadn't said much since talking to Sirius in the hallway the first day.

While the wound itself was technically healed, there was still a lot of healing left to be done. The wound didn't look fully healed and instead was red and raw along the line where the skin had been healed back together. There was some bruising as well, but Leo said there would have been more bruising if they hadn't been using the healing paste he had brought. Every time Leo came by, he said that everything was healing fine, and he didn't seem too concerned that she hadn't woken up yet. She was holding on so far, and that was important. However, Leo said he was sure there would be lingering damage later, and he wished they were able to take her to St Mungo's.

Sirius and the trio left the next day, with the plan to search some new areas and visit Luna's father.

She woke up on the fifth day, clearly in pain and clearly confused. Remus was close to falling asleep, Kingsley was as well, so Kingsley had gone downstairs to make them some tea. Remus heard the groan of pain and his head snapped up.

"Dora!" He cried, relieved. He stood quickly, leaning over her and stroking her cheek gently. "It's alright, don't move. Are you in pain?"

"Loads." She croaked. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" Remus asked, reaching for the pain potion on the nightstand.

She shook her head slowly. "I only remember them holding me down, and then a lot of pain." Tonks said, and her hands traveled to her stomach, which was slightly flatter than she would have remembered. She winced as her hands brushed over the blanket covering her stomach. "The baby...?"

"Bellatrix wanted to take the baby, she believed it was Rodolphus' heir."

"Did she do it?" Tonks asked, her eyes widening. "Or- oh, God, did she kill my baby?"

Remus shook his head. "No, she cut the baby out of you. Kingsley arrived just in time and took the baby from Bellatrix before she could Apparate. We reset the wards so she couldn't return. We also tightened security, only a very select few know where the house is now."

"The baby? Where-?"

"He's healthy, despite being so early." Remus said, as she tried to sit up. "Dora, don't hurt yourself."

"Where is he?" Tonks asked, wincing as she continued to try to sit up.

"Arms around my shoulders, love." Remus said. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he noticed her grip was extremely weak, and wrapped his arms under her arms, helping her sit up and putting his pillows behind her back, feeling terrible when she cried out in pain quietly against his ear. He handed the pain potion to her and she uncorked it quickly, but he noticed her hand shaking slightly. She looked like she could barely hold the vial by herself, so he reached over and steadied her hand, helping her drink it.

"I'll get the baby for you." Remus said as she leaned back against the pillows. He always appreciated how quickly pain potions worked and could see her relax. He walked over to the crib in the corner and scooped up the baby, who opened his eyes but didn't cry, carrying him over to Tonks. He placed the baby in her arms, amazed at the fact she seemed to instinctively know how to hold him.

She smiled widely, and for a moment, Remus forgot what had happened a few days before. She looked absolutely radiant, and he couldn't help but grin as well.

"Oh, he's so small." She said quietly, brushing a finger over the baby's cheek, her smile widening as the baby's hair turned a dark green. "Have you named him?"

"Absolutely not, I waited for you." Remus said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Have you- have you found if he's yours or not?"

Remus nodded. "Yes. He's mine." Remus said, feeling a sense of pride. "There is some potion left, so if you'd like, we can do it again so you can see-"

"I believe you." Tonks said.

"I suppose we should discuss a name, he's had no name for nearly a week." Remus said.

"A week?"

"It's the 8th today. We were attacked on the 3rd." Remus explained.

"He- I kind of think Teddy would suit him." She said, looking up at Remus. "If you'd agree?"

Remus looked down at the baby, and then nodded. "I like Teddy. Shortened from Edward, I presume?"

She nodded. "With your name as his middle name."

"Not Alastor's name?"

Tonks looked thoughtful for a moment. "I think I like Teddy Remus." She said.

Remus was quiet for a moment. "Teddy Remus Lupin... I think I agree." He said, and she smiled.

"Our son."

"I should get Kingsley, he'll want to know you're awake." Remus said, standing. "Will you be alright with him for a moment? I can put him back in his-"

"I'll be fine." She said, sounding a little defensive, and Remus noticed she tightened her grip on Teddy slightly. Remus turned, leaving the bedroom, heading downstairs. He entered the kitchen, where Kingsley was simply staring at the kettle on the stove, which wasn't even turned on.

"Kingsley?"

Kingsley jumped slightly, turning to Remus. "I was just- just thinking." Kingsley said, and Remus felt terrible about how Kingsley had been handling things. He was quiet, his eyes slightly sunken. He wasn't the Kingsley Remus remembered, and Remus wasn't surprised. Not with how the last few months had treated him.

"She's awake. I figured you'd like to talk to her."

For the first time in days, Kingsley's eyes lit up, and he seemed almost like himself. He rushed out of the kitchen, up the stairs, Remus following. He entered the bedroom right as Kingsley sat on the edge of the bed, hugging Tonks gently.

"I really thought I lost you." Kingsley said quietly, and Tonks smiled slightly at Remus over Kingsley's shoulder. "Are you in pain? I can get Leo- we should get Leo, right?"

"Remus gave me a pain potion." Tonks said as he leaned back. "I'm alright. Oddly tired, considering."

"You were unconscious, not asleep." Kingsley said. "And you lost so much blood, Dora. If we hadn't had blood replenishing potions, you would have been dead after the first hour. I think we'll wait for Leo, he should be here in another hour or so anyway." Kingsley reached a hand forward, brushing a finger over Teddy's cheek. "I see you've met your son, he's very much like you."

"I have, and the hair is a giveaway." Tonks said.

"I don't just mean the hair. He's very much like you in other ways." Kingsley said. "Sometimes he cries just to get us to hold him, or because he wants someone else to hold him. Just like you did when we first took you in. He's quite fond of Sirius."

Remus noticed Tonks looked a little upset. "Sometimes he cries until we place him on your chest." Remus said quickly. "We've made sure to allow him as much contact with you as possible."

"How- uh, what is he eating?" Tonks asked.

"Generally, when he's hungry, I prop you up and let him nurse. I knew it was what you wanted, and Leo suggested it as a way to help your milk come in while we waited for you to regain consciousness." Remus explained. "Sometimes he just likes the contact, though."

Tonks looked down at Teddy. "So, he knows me."

Remus nodded.

"I do want to ask something, though." Kingsley said. "Have you two decided on a name? He can't be 'the baby' forever."

"His name is Teddy." Tonks said. "Edward Remus Lupin."

Kingsley nodded. "That's a great name." He said. "I suppose Sirius will want to know-"

"That can wait until Leo arrives." Remus said. "I think we can allow Dora a few hours with Teddy before everyone wants to see her, and we know Sirius will be back here the second he gets the message."

"Remus, I was wondering, and I forgot to bring it up before Teddy was born... but, should we name godparents?" Tonks asked.

"If you think we should. Do you have anyone in mind?" Remus asked.

Tonks shook her head slowly. "I haven't thought about it much." Tonks said. "We can talk about it, though."

Teddy began to shift slightly, softly crying. Remus checked his watch. "It's been a few hours since he ate, he may be hungry." Remus said.

"I'm going to make some tea, and something for you to eat, Dora. You'll need to take another dose of antidote soon." Kingsley said, standing and leaving the room quickly.

"Antidote?" Tonks asked, as Remus walked to sit on the edge of the bed next to her. He helped her shift her tank top aside, as she held Teddy closer to her chest and Teddy latched on immediately.

"You don't need me here, you're a natural with him." Remus said, smiling. Tonks smiled as well, looking down at Teddy.

"Remus, why do I need an antidote?" Tonks asked, looking up at Remus again.

"You were poisoned."

"Poisoned?" Tonks asked. "When?"

"The knife was poisoned." Remus explained. "But Leo says you're healing properly, he's expecting you to only need the antidote for a couple of weeks."

Remus watched as she switched Teddy to the other breast, smiling that she seemed to not need any instruction. She seemed to remember a lot of what she had read in the books, or was very maternal by instinct.

It was quiet while they waited for Teddy to finish nursing, and then Remus stood, walking over to the dresser. He picked up the jar of white paste, setting it on the bed next to Tonks.

"I need to apply this, Dora, can I take Teddy for a moment?" Remus asked, and she relinquished her hold. He set Teddy on the bed gently, next to her hip, and lifted the hem of her shirt slowly. He opened the small jar, feeling bad when she winced as his fingers brushed against her stomach. "I'm sorry, but Leo said it'll help."

They heard footsteps and Kingsley reappeared, holding a tray of tea. "At least it looks better." Kingsley said, setting the tray on the dresser. Remus finished applying the paste, and then closed the jar, wiping his hand on the rag he had been using to wipe the excess. Remus picked up Teddy, placing him in his crib again and then took a mug of tea from Kingsley, who then turned to pick up a bowl of stew. He handed it to Tonks, and then picked up another mug of tea. "How are you feeling?" Kingsley asked Tonks.

"Sore. The pain potion helped, but-"

"It's not perfect." Kingsley said. "Leo said that, unfortunately, we can only give you a pain potion every four hours. Other than that, you just have to stay resting. We can try a warm cloth, but there's not much else. It'll heal, though."

"Hopefully sooner, not later." Tonks said.

"It'll take a while." Remus said gently. "But at least you're awake, love."


	26. Chapter 26

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

 _ **Also, good news, guys!**_

 _ **I am starting a sequel for this! So, it will follow whoever survives! Yay!**_

 _ **I promised a sequel last time and didn't deliver. I also didn't deliver an ending. I will deliver BOTH!**_

* * *

Remus almost wished she hadn't woken up.

Almost.

The side effects of the antidote seemed much worse when she was awake. The fever was high, her chills were terrible, the pain potion wore off after three hours. They hadn't realised how bad her pain would be, and she was suffering terribly.

They were right about Sirius. Less than ten minutes after Kingsley had sent the patronus, Sirius and the kids returned. They immediately came upstairs, all visiting with Tonks for a while before the trio went to get some sleep. Sirius stayed with them a while longer before going to bed himself. Kingsley went to bed as well, and Remus was sure everyone would finally sleep properly. Except for him.

The next few days were the same, and Leo promised to see if he could find a pain potion that she could take more often, but he knew that any pain potions that were able to be taken more frequently were a lower dose and unable to be mixed with things like fever reducer- she'd have to take those separately.

Remus figured that wouldn't be the end of the world. If she had to take an extra potion, at least she'd be pain-free. Hopefully.

Remus wondered if the pain was this bad because he kept helping her sit up, lay down, walk to the washroom, walk back to bed. What if all the moving around was making it worse?

Leo said it was possible, but it was a little unavoidable. She didn't want to stay laying down the entire time, she couldn't sleep sitting up, and she couldn't avoid walking back and forth to the washroom.

He charmed his watch to wake him whenever she'd need another potion, but he realised it wasn't necessary. Between Teddy's crying, and her being in terrible pain, he didn't sleep much at night. He didn't mind, he just really wished he could help her.

He tried a warm cloth, but it didn't seem to help her at all. She got a few hours of sleep but was restless, and woke him up a few times. At one point, he jumped awake because she had cried out in pain, possibly caused by shifting too suddenly. After a few seconds, she remained quiet and he dozed off again.

A while later, he was startled awake again by her hitting him in the side.

"God, sorry, I was just- _fuck_." Tonks hissed, and Remus sat up, turning on the lamp. "I just wanted to get comfortable."

Remus sat up, turning on the lamp next to the bed. "What can I do?" He asked, as she tried to untangle the blanket from around her, wincing when she moved. He grabbed the blanket, pulling it from around her. He checked his watch. "You can have another potion now, you know."

"I love that you time it so closely." She muttered, laying on her back. Remus stood, walking over to the dresser and grabbing a new vial. He uncorked it for her, helping her sit up just enough to drink the potion.

He walked back over to his side of the bed, crawling into bed and straightening the blanket before turning off the light. She sighed quietly, shifting closer to him and laying her head on his shoulder. He tightened his arm around her gently, resting his cheek on her hair.

"I love you." Remus said, pressing a kiss to her hair.

"I love you too."

"You'll still marry me, right?"

"As long as you'll still have me." Tonks said. "Your poor, broken fiancee who needs help getting to the loo."

"As long as you can handle a poor, old werewolf who has a good habit of making an arse out of himself."

"Well, I've known that for a long time, love." Tonks said. She was quiet for a moment, and when she spoke again, Remus could tell she was starting to doze off. "Should we discuss godparents for Teddy?"

"Right now? Love, you're dozing off. We can discuss it when you're a little more awake."

"I'm not dozing off..." She said. "I'm just... I'm... thinking..."

Remus laughed quietly. "Well, _I'm_ thinking you're falling asleep."

"No..."

A few seconds later, he realised she was asleep. Now he just hoped Teddy wouldn't cry for a while and would allow them both some much needed sleep. He was laying there awake, when he realised that full moon was in two days.

He had known, obviously, because he could feel it. However, he had spent so much time focusing on Tonks and Teddy, that he simply didn't pay much attention to it. It was alright, he figured. He could trust Kingsley to stay with her on the night of the full moon.

The next morning, he found out that wouldn't be the case. Kingsley was called away on a short mission. He was reluctant to go, but eventually agreed. He sent a patronus later, saying he was safe but wouldn't be back until he lost the Death Eater tailing him.

So Remus asked Sirius to stay behind, but made the mistake of asking in front of Tonks. She hated him being alone if he didn't have Wolfsbane. However, he hated the idea of her being alone. With how bad her pain got, and how sick she got for a while after taking the antidote, he didn't want her alone- and he knew that full moon happened to fall on a night when Leo was working the late night shift.

"I don't know what to do, Sirius." Remus admitted, while they were sitting together in the living room with Teddy while Tonks slept. "If Kingsley can't get home, Leo can't be here... she doesn't want you staying here. She's going to be alone."

"She can't be alone, though."

"Funny, I'm aware of that."

Sirius was quiet for a minute. "What if I go back and forth?"

"You'd have to be human to get in and out of the basement, too risky."

"Why don't we just knock you out for the night?"

Remus chuckled. "I believe she wants you with me so I _don't_ get injured."

It was quiet for another moment before the idea struck Remus, just as Sirius suggested it. "Why don't we ask Hermione?"

Remus wondered why he hadn't thought of it before, considering Tonks had voiced her interest in asking Hermione to be Teddy's godmother, and Harry to be his godfather. Tonks let Remus ask Harry, as long as she would be able to ask Hermione. Remus figured that was a fair request, but knew she hadn't asked Hermione yet.

Harry had agreed, and Remus was sure Hermione would as well.

He also realised why Tonks wanted godparents for Teddy. Her parents hadn't survived the last war, and with her recent brush with death, he wondered if she was doubting their chances of survival.

* * *

"I appreciate this, Hermione." Remus said, leading Hermione upstairs. Hermione had agreed to help Tonks over night immediately after Remus had asked, and he hadn't stopped thanking her.

With Kingsley still gone, and Sirius having to go with Remus due to the lack of Wolfsbane, Remus needed someone trustworthy to help Tonks.

And he had asked her.

"It's not much, I promise." Remus said, opening the bedroom door. "There are two potions, one she gets every four hours- at a minimum- and one every twelve- you'll only need to make sure she takes that one once."

They approached the bed, and Hermione was a little startled by how ill Tonks appeared. She almost looked worse than when Hermione had seen her the other day.

"This is the pain potion." Remus said, holding up one vial. "It's mixed with a fever reducer. It's nearly four, so she'll get one now. And then another at eight, midnight, four. If I'm not back by eight, she gets another. The blue one is the antidote. That's the one she'll take at midnight. I tried to match them up as best as I could so she can sleep between the potion doses and Teddy's crying."

Tonks wasn't saying anything, she was simply watching them. Hermione felt a pang of sadness when she noticed how distant Tonks' gaze seemed.

"Teddy doesn't cry as much as he did at first. He usually cries if he's hungry or needs to be changed, but not much else." Remus continued. "I don't think you'll need to worry about the third vial, that's a paste for healing the wound itself. It's only once a day, I'll be back for that."

Hermione nodded.

"Dora, you don't mind if Hermione stays with you tonight, do you?" Remus asked, and Tonks' eyes snapped up as if she had almost forgotten they were there, and she shook her head. "If you get tired, you can sleep on my side of the bed, or you can read. The lamp won't wake Dora once she falls asleep. And she has had a few nightmares. If she has one, she gets a little physical. Hold her shoulders down, it'll stop her from hurting herself. I find calling her by her first name tends to wake up."

"I dislike you." Tonks said quietly, and Hermione smiled a little. That was the Tonks she knew.

Hermione was reading Remus' copy of _The Hunchback of Notredame_ , but she kept glancing down at Tonks everytime the sleeping witch moved or exhaled.

Remus had assured her that the worst thing to happen would be Tonks being in pain for the last half hour before the allowed dose of pain potion could be given, but Hermione was on edge.

She felt there were details missing from Remus' version of what had happened, but still, the short version made her feel ill. Even seeing the aftermath of the attack made her feel ill.

When they had left that day, Tonks had been cheerful and extremely pregnant(and, at times, extremely emotional) but she had been the closest thing to the Tonks Hermione had met at Grimmauld Place.

And when they returned, it had been to a blood soaked kitchen floor and Kingsley holding Tonks in a pool of her own blood while Remus held the baby.

Even if Bellatrix had assumed Teddy was Rodolphus' child, why had she allowed Kingsley to grab him? Why hadn't she simply killed Tonks and _then_ taken the baby before the lack of oxygen hurt the baby?

It wasn't that Hermione wanted Tonks dead, she just wondered why Bellatrix had done it the way she had.

Tonks' face seemed a little flushed, so Hermione pressed her hand to her forehead. She pulled away immediately, shocked by how warm it was. Had the fever reducer not worked? Was this the reduced fever?

Hermione glanced at the watch Remus left on his nightstand. Only a few minutes before Hermione would be able to give Tonks another potion. She just hoped they were working and that Tonks wasn't in pain.

However, if she was still asleep, that had to be a good sign, right?

"No."

Tonks' voice made Hermione jump, and she glanced at her again. Tonks was still fast asleep, but frowning, her breathing a little more erratic.

Tonks rolled onto her side, facing away from Hermione. "He's not yours." She murmured. "Not your heir."

Hermione wasn't sure what to do. On one hand, this seemed like pretty basic nonsensical mutterings of someone asleep. On the other, it seemed a little...

"He's not your son."

Hermione frowned slightly. "Tonks?"

"Get off."

"Tonks?"

"Get off of me."

Hermione could feel her heart beating faster. It seemed a little too coherent for this to be nonsense. "Tonks?" Hermione tried again.

"Rodolphus- stop- he's not-"

"Tonks." Hermione repeated, louder. She set the book aside, a little unsure on whether or not she should actually hold the woman down.

"-your son." Tonks muttered, turning onto her back again. She was still frowning, her hair shifting a shade of red at the ends. "Get off of me..."

Hermione moved just as Tonks did, pressing down on Tonks' shoulders as the witch tried to kick some invisible assailant.

"Tonks, wake up!" Hermione snapped, as Tonks cried out, her head turning to the side sharply. "Nymphadora!" Hermione shook Tonks' shoulders as she yelled her name, and Tonks' eyes snapped open.

Hermione released Tonks' shoulders finally. "I'm sorry." Hermione said. "But you- you had a nightmare."

Tonks didn't say anything for a long moment. Hermione wondered if she would. "It always feels so real." Tonks whispered hoarsely. "I can still feel it."

Hermione wasn't sure what to say, but was saved the effort when Teddy began to cry. Hermione slid from the bed, walking around it, just as Tonks pushed herself into a sitting position, hissing in pain.

Hermione scooped up Teddy, turning and handing him to Tonks. "I know it's bad, Tonks. And of course you can still feel it, you're not healed yet." She said gently. "Maybe when you're healed, the nightmares will fade as the scar does."

Tonks was staring down at Teddy in her arms. "I- I think we just upset him. And, uh- did i say anything?" She asked. "Remus says I sometimes do."

Hermione walked back around to the other side of the bed, sitting gently. "You did." She said. "You told someone to get off of you, and that- that someone wasn't someone else's son. And you mentioned rodolphus. Oh, god. When you said you could still- you weren't talking about the day Teddy was born. You were talking about July."

Tonks was still looking down at Teddy.

"Wait, how do you know about that?" Tonks asked, looking at Hermione and frowning.

"I overheard Remus and Sirius talking, and they told me." Hermione said. "They didn't want me coming to the wrong conclusions-"

"They _told_ you?" Tonks asked, and Hermione wondered if Tonks was angry about it.

"Tonks, I won't tell anyone. You know that." Hermione said. "I can't begin to understand what happened those days you were gone. I never will. Maybe that's why Remus trusted me tonight. Because _you_ can trust me. Tonks, it's nothing to be ashamed about. Having nightmares- it happens. And you get to rest here, knowing that Teddy is Remus' child, and knowing Rodolphus can't come near you again because Sirius handled that. If it wasn't Sirius that night, it would have been Kingsley or Remus at the first possible opportunity. And you must know it's going to be alright in the end, right?"

Tonks was quiet, and Hermione wondered if she had crossed some boundary. "You better survive this war." Tonks finally said, looking at Hermione. "Because you'd be one Hell of a mother."

Hermione smiled slightly, turning to look at the watch. She reached for a vial of pain potion, handing it to Tonks. Tonks uncorked it and drank it as Hermione stood, walking around the bed to take Teddy and place him in his crib again.

Hermione watched Tonks succumb to the potion, her eyes drifting closed. "Hermione?" Tonks whispered.

"Yes?"

"Will you be his godmother?" Tonks asked, and Hermione realised Tonks was asleep the second she stopped talking.

Well, that gave Hermione a few hours to think about the idea.


	27. Chapter 27

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

 _ **Also, good news, guys!**_

 _ **I am starting a sequel for this! So, it will follow whoever survives! Yay!**_

 _ **I promised a sequel last time and didn't deliver. I also didn't deliver an ending. I will deliver BOTH!**_

 _ **Agh this chapter was stubborn to write but it's leading up to the ending!**_

* * *

Hermione hadn't realised how slowly the night would pass. Tonks became restless shortly before midnight, but didn't wake up until a few minutes before, when Hermione got up to grab another vial of antidote. Hermione didn't realise she was awake until she spoke.

"Please don't make me drink that rubbish."

"You have to, though." Hermione said. "However, you also get another pain potion."

Tonks groaned into her pillow, but pushed herself into a sitting position slowly. "I really hate this antidote."

"Would you prefer not to be cured?" Hermione asked.

"I have doubts that this is actually helping." Tonks said, but she took the vial from Hermione anyway. Hermione took the empty vial after she drank it, handing her a pain potion as well.

A while later, Hermione didn't know what to do. Tonks was shivering horribly, but her skin was so _warm_. Hermione had folded the blanket away from her side, so it was doubled up on Tonks, but it didn't seem to be helping.

Perhaps the fever Hermione had felt earlier _was_ the reduced fever. After another hour, Hermione noticed the fever seemed lower and Hermione noticed she was asleep.

Hermione felt bad, but she figured that in the long run, it'd be better that Tonks dealt with a few rough hours in order to have years to spend with Teddy. She just hoped Tonks could understand that.

At some point, Hermione lay down, hoping to catch a few hours of sleep, and Tonks rolled over, wrapping an arm around Hermione. Hermione didn't mind. If it would help Tonks sleep, she could handle it for a few hours.

* * *

Remus practically had to drag himself to his clothes, and it felt like he used a lot of energy just to get dressed. Sirius helped him upstairs, where they discovered both Tonks and Hermione had fallen asleep, their arms wrapped around each other. Sirius sent Remus to his own bed, because he hadn't been planning to go to sleep anyway.

Kingsley returned a few hours later, saying he had finally managed to lose the Death Eater tailing him, and thought it was time to have another Order meeting just so everyone could make sure everyone was still safe. Tonks insisted she'd be fine to attend, but Remus wasn't too sure about an Order meeting, but gave in after a while. While she insisted she was able to walk, he could tell she was in pain. Hermione was just coming down the attic stairs, so Remus turned to her.

"Hermione, would you mind taking Teddy?" Remus asked.

"I wouldn't mind at all." Hermione said, smiling as she took Teddy from him. Hermione had finally been able to answer Tonks' question, even though Tonks admitted she didn't remember asking, but insisted the offer still stood. Hermione agreed, and Teddy now had two godparents.

Remus bent slightly, picking Tonks up bridal style, and she winced. "I'm sorry, love." Remus said immediately, carrying her down the stairs as Hermione followed them, talking quietly to Teddy.

Remus set Tonks on the couch, draping a blanket over her before turning and taking Teddy back from Hermione. Since she had woken up, Tonks held Teddy as much as possible. Sometimes, Remus would sit on the bed beside her, Teddy asleep between them. He honestly didn't think he'd ever have a family, and absolutely loved sitting around and simply spending time without anyone else. She hadn't joined them downstairs until today, and Remus could tell she was bored. Although she was no longer in danger of dying, the poison had certainly slowed the healing and she was still dealing with a large amount of pain.

Tonks fed Teddy before the other members arrived, which meant he would be alright for a few hours. Kingsley and Sirius went to bring Order members to the house, while Molly made sure her family found their way there- she was the only one except for Leo and the people living at the house who could pass the boundaries. Everyone in the Order had heard about the attack by this point, and were thrilled to see Tonks and the baby were both alright.

The meeting was small, only consisting of the Weasleys and Hestia. Despite the fact the two women didn't always get along, Tonks was perfectly fine with Fleur holding Teddy and cooing over him, which led to Fleur deciding she wanted a baby too. Bill, on the other hand, didn't look too sure. The meeting was short, everyone was still safe- the Weasleys had moved to Muriel's to be safe and weren't sending Ginny back to Hogwarts. Ginny immediately adored Teddy, even though she hadn't even known Tonks was pregnant until Christmas.

In the days following, Remus wasn't sure about letting Tonks do too much by herself.

However, Leo had finally found a potion that she could take more frequently to help her pain. And it was helping.

So, unfortunately, she didn't want to stay in bed all the time anymore. Leo had agreed she should be able to move around, as long as she took it easy and didn't over-exert herself.

Remus, however, believed that Tonks didn't know the definition of over-exertion, and found himself telling her- quite often- to take it easy. Kingsley actually sided with Remus, and when Remus didn't scold Tonks for doing too much, he did.

It turned out their definition of over-exertion was very different from Tonks'. She insisted she could help tidy the house and do basic chores, but Kingsley and Remus insisted she had to stop doing any chores at all. They didn't like her being on her feet and moving around for more than a few seconds, and she hated having to stay in one spot for too long now that her pain was under control.

Sirius, Harry, Ron and Hermione left a couple of days after the Order meeting, and Remus was a little concerned when a few days passed without word from Sirius and the others, but it had happened before, he was sure they'd return.

* * *

Sirius generally enjoyed some peaceful silence for a few hours before Harry and Ron got up, followed by Hermione a while later. Sirius usually went upstairs a while later with breakfast for Tonks, to find Remus was awake too and sitting with her. Every morning was generally the same.

A week after the full moon and a few days after the Order meeting, Harry suggested they leave again, to try and find another Horcrux. Anytime they stayed in one place for too long, he became restless. He wanted to end this, Sirius knew, but if they had no leads, wasn't it safer to stay in one place?

Sirius could understand Harry's side of things. How could they find a Horcrux while sitting behind a ton of boundaries?

Now that Tonks was awake, and in no danger of dying from Bellatrix's assault, Sirius agreed to go.

Less than two weeks later, however, they found themselves face to face with Bellatrix and the Malfoys after a short fight with some Snatchers.

Looking at Bellatrix's smug grin made him wish he hadn't lost his wand in the struggle. "Put the boys in the cellar. I want to talk to my darling cousin and the Mudblood." Bellatrix demanded. Ron and Harry were dragged from the room and Sirius knew this was it. They'd summon Voldemort. It was over.

"So tell me, Sirius. How's my baby?" Bellatrix asked, tracing a nail along Sirius' cheek.

Now Sirius _really_ wished he had his wand.

"Tell me where they are." Bellatrix said. "And I'll let you live."

"I'm not telling you anything."

"Interesting, that's what _Mad-Eye_ insisted for months. Yet, I found you all, didn't I?" Bellatrix asked. "I do regret not keeping Nymphadora here after July. I could have disposed of her after the heir was born, and I wouldn't have to keep searching for _my_ heir."

"He's not yours!" Sirius snapped.

"Oh, isn't he?" Bellatrix asked. "Did you not know? This was the plan. Nymphadora was here by her own choice in July. You think she escaped? We let her go! For this reason!"

"You're sick." Sirius spat.

"Am I?" Bellatrix asked. "Oh, dear Sirius, you really were fooled. I must say, I'm impressed."

Sirius frowned. "If you're going to sit here, and claim she lied-"

"I'm sure she was convincing, we asked her to be. But trust me, Sirius. She never did anything against her will. Perhaps I'll make sure to tell Lupin how much she enjoyed being with a real man. Dogs must be tiring after a while."

"What are you saying?"

"Oh, there was no rape. She enjoyed our meeting in July _immensely_."

"Fuck you."

"I was robbed, Sirius." Bellatrix said. "And I want what's _mine_. I had a deal with Nymphadora, I want what's mine."

"Teddy's not yours." Sirius spat.

"Teddy? _Teddy_? Named for the Mudblood?" Bellatrix demanded.

"So what if he is?"

"Well, if she wanted to name the child for his grandfather, she should have chosen his _real name_." Bellatrix snapped. "Or, perhaps, the Aurors never told her?" She asked with a maniacal laugh. "Oh, that's just lovely!"

"Told her what?" Sirius found himself asking.

"That child, the one named for the Mudblood, is the heir of the Lestrange family, and I want him _back_."

"He's not Rodolphus' child!" Sirius snapped.

"Whether or not the child was fathered by Rodolphus, he is a Lestrange. How fascinating that darling Andromeda never admitted it." Bellatrix said. "Nymphadora is Rabastan's daughter, _not_ the Mudblood's."

"You're lying."

"Am I?" Bellatrix asked. "Greyback, take my darling Sirius to the cellar. Let him think about it for a while. Perhaps he'll change his mind and helps us. For now, though, I want to ask the Mudblood some questions. I'm sure you can have her when I'm finished."

* * *

 _ **It's short, and I'm hoping it's consistent. These sections were drafts, sitting in my docs for months, literally the entire time I was writing. I've reread them, added stuff, blah blah. Hopefulllyyyy, it fits in the changes I've made as I go.**_


	28. Chapter 28

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

 _ **Also, good news, guys!**_

 _ **I am starting a sequel for this! So, it will follow whoever survives! Yay!**_

 _ **I promised a sequel last time and didn't deliver. I also didn't deliver an ending. I will deliver BOTH!**_

* * *

They heard someone Apparating inside the boundaries, and froze. Tonks tightened her grip on Teddy, looking fearful. Remus had found his wand after Rabastan had disarmed him, but not Tonks'- she was wandless. He felt bad, because she wouldn't even be able to Apparate if something went terribly wrong.

"Hello?" A voice yelled from the back yard, and Remus and Kingsley exchanged a look. He knew that voice. "Professor Lupin?"

Remus and Kingsley rushed to the back yard, just as he recognised the voice. "Dean?" He asked. He heard Kingsley gasp as he looked around. There were four people in the yard, two sitting on the ground, two standing.

"What happened?" Remus asked.

"We were captured by Death Eaters." Luna Lovegood answered. "Your friend, Sirius Black, told us to come here."

"But how?" Kingsley asked. "The boundaries- you can't get through them!"

"What's going on?" Tonks asked, appearing at the door behind them.

"Go back inside!" Kingsley snapped, walking forward. Remus didn't have to turn around to know Tonks looked startled- Kingsley rarely snapped at her. Remus followed Kingsley towards the two figures on the ground. "Alastor?"

"Ollivander?" Remus asked, as he leaned over one of the figures.

"Kingsley?" Alastor's voice was weak. "They got you too, huh?"

"No, no they didn't." Kingsley said. "You're home, Alastor, but you have to help me get you inside."

"Are you alright?" Remus asked Ollivander, who nodded. Remus helped Ollivander to his feet, as Kingsley helped Alastor up. Remus turned to see that Tonks had taken Luna and Dean inside.

He helped Ollivander into the house to see Tonks making tea for Luna and Dean, who were sitting at the table. He helped Ollivander to the living room, setting him in the armchair. He noticed Teddy was in the bassinet they finally set up in the living room the day before.

Remus went back into the kitchen, intent on helping Kingsley with Alastor. "Go rest, Dora." Remus said as he walked by, even though he knew she would ignore him. Kingsley and Alastor were near the steps, and Remus had to admit he was glad that the Death Eaters hadn't taken his false leg, but noticed they had taken his eye- he wondered why they'd leave his leg. He rushed to Kingsley's other side, helping him carry Alastor.

"Is he alright?" Tonks asked, as she stood on the stairs to be out of the way as they carried Alastor into the living room.

"He's alive." Kingsley said. "Did we not tell you to rest?"

She ignored him, following them into the living room.

"Bellatrix!" Alastor growled, and Tonks looked surprised when Alastor shoved Kingsley and Remus aside and lunged at her. She cried out in shock and pain when he knocked her down, and they rushed forward to drag him away from her. "You belong in Azkaban, Lestrange!"

Remus and Kingsley managed to drag Alastor off of her and towards the couch. Remus was extremely grateful she hadn't had Teddy in her arms, but he couldn't ignore how she struggled to get to her feet, one hand clutching her stomach. Ollivander tried to stand, one hand outreached towards her, but she shook her head, muttering something about how he should stay resting. Teddy began to cry, and Alastor struggled against Remus and Kingsley more.

"Don't touch her! She's ours!" Alastor yelled, as Tonks rushed to Teddy.

"Dora, take Teddy and go!" Remus demanded, and Tonks took Teddy, rushing into the kitchen.

"Bring her back!" Alastor yelled. "She's ours!"

"Alastor, look at me!" Kingsley snapped, pushing Alastor onto the couch. "Remus, Calming Draught!"

Remus raced into the kitchen. "You, bed, now." Remus said, pointing at Tonks, who was sitting at the table. She had Teddy balanced in one arm, her other hand rubbing her side slowly.

"At least ask me to dinner first, love!" Tonks responded as Remus grabbed a Calming Draught and went back into the living room, uncorking the potion and pouring into Alastor's mouth while Kingsley held him down. He was worried that Alastor had made her injury worse, and he was a little frustrated that she wouldn't listen.

"Sirius? What happened?" He heard Tonks exclaim. Remus turned to see Sirius heading for the stairs, holding Hermione in his arms. She was unconscious, a thin trail of blood on her throat. "Put her in our room, Sirius, don't bother trying to get her to the attic." Tonks added, appearing in the doorway.

"Dora, go to bed!" Remus snapped.

* * *

"Shouldn't you be listening to your husband?" Sirius asked.

Tonks followed Sirius up the stairs, ignoring his question. "What happened?" She asked, following him to the bedroom.

"Bellatrix." Sirius said. "Tortured her."

Tonks set Teddy in the crib and walked over to her dresser, grabbing two pairs of her old pajamas as Sirius placed Hermione on the bed. "Can you get me a damp rag? And send Luna up here? You can help Ollivander and the boys."

Sirius nodded, leaving the room. She sat on the end of the bed, untying Hermione's shoes first and pulling them off.

"Mrs Lupin?" Luna asked, entering the room with damp rags in her hands.

"I think you're the second person to ever call me that." Tonks said. "It's just Tonks, Luna. I was wondering if you could help me with Hermione? I have some clean clothes for you as well, but it'll be easier to clean up Hermione with an extra set of hands."

Luna nodded, walking forward with the rags. Tonks stood, wincing when pain shot though her stomach. She took the rags, and put them on the end of the bed.

"Are you alright?" Luna asked, as Tonks leaned over Hermione and started to unbutton her coat.

"Dora, I told you to go to bed." Remus said, entering the room.

"Oh good, Remus, you can help me." Tonks said. "Luna, there are clean towels in our bathroom. You can take a shower and go up to the attic, Hermione'll be here tonight, you can sleep on her bed."

"Dora..."

"Remus, it's _fine_." Tonks snapped, as Luna took the pajamas from Tonks. "Can you help me?"

Remus walked over, lifting Hermione into a sitting position so Tonks could pull her jacket off. Tonks picked up a rag as he set her down, wiping the blood from Hermione's throat.

"Not deep, she should be fine." Tonks said, tucking a blanket around Hermione. "I mean, other than being tortured."

"Are you sure you're alright?" Remus asked, and Tonks sighed.

"Hurts like Hell, but I'm fine." Tonks said. "I just don't understand, why did he attack me?"

"I hate to say it, Dora, you do look like Bellatrix." Remus said. "Maybe he's just confused. Dora, I'm going to go help the others. Please get some rest."

* * *

It was quiet the next day. Hermione was shaken, but otherwise fine. Remus and Sirius had slept in the living room because Ollivander and the goblin, Griphook, slept in Sirius' room. Sirius had gone earlier that morning to see if Bill and Fleur had room to take them. They transfigured two extra cots in the attic, making it slightly more crowded, but at least Luna and Dean had a place to sleep.

Sirius returned a few hours later with extra wands, saying Bill had run into some Snatchers and gotten the spare wands. He took Ollivander and Griphook to Shell Cottage, and had just returned a few minutes before. Now everyone, except for Kingsley and Tonks, was outside because the weather was a little warmer than it had been lately, and Sirius and Remus were helping Luna and Dean work with the new wands. Hermione, Ron and Harry were simply sitting outside.

Kingsley was upstairs and Tonks was laying on the couch, Teddy asleep on her chest, her arm wrapped around him gently. She felt so relaxed, simply laying there, listening to Teddy's almost silent breathing. She somehow forgot that Alastor had returned the night before, and didn't think much about the footsteps. Even the sound of the footsteps didn't seem strange, perhaps because she had spent so many years listening to them.

"Who is that?"

Tonks turned her head, a little surprised to see Alastor. He was staring at the baby, clearly confused. She noticed he had found the eye patch he had worn until he had received his magical replacement.

"Uh-" Tonks began, sitting up slowly and shifting Teddy into her arms. "Uh, this is-"

"Whose baby is that?" Alastor asked, walking forward and sinking into the armchair. Teddy's hair shifted in his sleep, and Alastor's good eye widened. "...Dora?"

"He's mine." Tonks said finally. "And Remus'."

"I don't think I was gone long enough." Alastor said. "It's only been... eight months?"

"He was born early." Tonks said. "He was born on the third, he should have been born sometime next month. Bellatrix paid us a visit, she decided it was time."

"Bellatrix... Oh, Merlin- I'm the reason she found you."

"What?"

"I am so sorry." Alastor said, dropping his head into his hands. "What did she do to you, Dora?"

"Well, I don't remember a lot of it, but she wanted the baby." Tonks explained. "So, she tried to take him."

"She clearly didn't succeed." Alastor said, looking up at her.

"No, she did not. She almost did, but apparently Rabastan fled and she followed."

"And... then you had him?"

"No, she handled that too. With a knife." She said, and he shook his head, muttering something.

"Did you know? Before the meeting?"

"No, I found out after."

"I am so sorry." Alastor said. "I didn't realise you'd be here, and I certainly didn't- didn't know you were- well, in that condition."

"It's not your fault, Alastor. We're both healthy, it's alright." Tonks said.

"I- I attacked you last night, didn't I? Or was that a dream?"

"You did."

"Oh, God, Dora. I am so sorry." Alastor said, as Tonks stood slowly. "Would you like to hold him?"

Alastor stared at her. "Are you sure?"

"He is technically your grandson."

Tonks walked to the chair, placing Teddy in his arms. "And what'd you name the kid?" Alastor asked, looking down at Teddy, whose hair shifted to the same grey as Alastor's.

"Edward Remus, but we've all just been calling him Teddy."

"Teddy, huh? Well, Teddy, I'm your grandfather, I guess." Alastor said, rocking Teddy slightly. Tonks looked up to see Kingsley standing on the stairs, and he smiled as he walked down the rest of the stairs. He walked forward, patting Alastor on the shoulder.

"Well, congratulations, you're a grandfather." Kingsley said.

Alastor laughed. "And so are you."

"Kingsley, we need to talk." Sirius said, entering the living room with Remus. "While the others are busy."

"About what?"

"Her." Sirius said, pointing to Tonks as she straightened up.

"Me? What'd I do?" Tonks asked.

"Bellatrix said something that's been bothering me." Sirius said. "A few things, but we'll discuss one thing at a time."

"Well, what did she say?" Remus asked.

"That this was a setup." Sirius said, pointing to Teddy. "That he was planned, between her and Rodolphus."

" _Excuse me_?" Tonks demanded.

"Don't get her worked up, Sirius." Remus said, sounding a little tense. "However, I'd like to know what you're trying to imply."

"Obviously, because we know Teddy is Remus', we know that wasn't true-"

"And if Teddy wasn't?" Tonks demanded. "Would you have believed it? You're a complete _arse_ , Sirius!"

"Calm down." Sirius said, as Teddy began to cry. Remus hurried forward, taking Teddy from Alastor.

"Calm down? Calm _down_?" Tonks demanded. "You just walked in here, and threw that accusation out there, and you tell _me to calm down_?"

"I'm just telling you what she told me!" Sirius snapped. "And if she ever tries to claim this elsewhere, you should at least know what she's claiming!"

"Right, but we have proof that Teddy is Remus'." Tonks said. "So, why would I care?"

"That's not the only thing, and I know you won't be able to confirm or deny this one." Sirius said, and then he pointed at Kingsley and Alastor. "But they can."

"Sirius, Bellatrix thrives on torturing people. Don't you think she'd be thrilled to know she could upset someone this much?" Remus asked, trying to quiet Teddy.

"She claims you're Rabastan's daughter, not Ted's." Sirius said.

"I'm sorry?" Tonks asked, a little startled. She looked at Alastor and Kingsley, expecting them to immediately say something. However, they simply exchanged a look. "Well?" Tonks demanded.

"That's a, uh, a difficult situation." Alastor said, looking a little uncomfortable.

"How? It's a yes or no." Tonks said.

"Generally, it would be." Kingsley said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Sirius, you can't believe this." Remus said. "Considering everything else Bellatrix said..."

"Did you read the letter, Dora?" Sirius asked.

"The letter? You got it?" Alastor asked.

"Yes, I've got it. No, I won't read it." Tonks said. "Why? Should I?" Kingsley and Alastor exchanged another look. "Is it true, then?" Tonks demanded. "Tell me! _Is it true_? Am I his daughter? Oh God, that means- Rodolphus would be my- my Uncle by _blood_. Oh my God. No, it can't be- Kingsley? Alastor? It's not true, is it?"

She could feel herself getting angrier when they didn't say anything.

"It's not true." Remus said, but he didn't sound very sure. How could he know, anyway?

"Alastor? Kingsley?" Tonks asked, slowly.

Kingsley sighed. "We don't know."


	29. Chapter 29

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

 _ **Also, good news, guys!**_

 _ **I am starting a sequel for this! So, it will follow whoever survives! Yay!**_

 _ **I promised a sequel last time and didn't deliver. I also didn't deliver an ending. I will deliver BOTH!**_

* * *

"My Uncle, Remus."

"Dora, please." Remus said, walking to stand in front of her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "You've been upset for _hours_ -"

"I have a right to be!" Tonks snapped, shaking his hands off and continuing her pacing. "Oh my God, he held me down. Rabastan _held me down_ while Bellatrix cut- oh, my God-"

"Leo may have said you don't have to stay in bed, but I don't think he'd be pleased with you constantly moving around." Remus said, but he didn't try to grab her again.

"My Uncle, by _blood_ , Remus! And he raped me! What if Teddy _had_ been his?"

"Listen, there's no proof that it's true-"

"There's no proof it's not!"

"Dora, _stop_. You're supposed to be resting. Leo said you could move around, you don't have to stay in bed constantly, but you can't be helping your injury. _Especially_ because of last night."

Tonks ignored him, pacing. However, her pacing was slowing, and he could tell by the way she was breathing- she was in pain. He knew it well, he had often hid pain in a similar manner when he worked through various jobs over the years. Or she was about to hyperventilate.

"Dora, please." Remus said, walking over to her again and grabbing her shoulders, leading her to the bed. "Please, rest."

"Don't touch me." She snapped, shoving him. He caught her before she could step away, dragging her to sit down on the end of the bed. "Remus-" She groaned, trying to stand, but he remained firm, pulling her down next to him.

"Look at me." Remus said, grabbing her shoulders before she could try to stand again. "Nymphadora, _look at me_." He said firmly, cupping her cheek, forcing her to look at him.

"Don't call me Nymphadora." She growled, but when he released her, she didn't move.

"I'll call you whatever I damn well please, if it gets you to listen." Remus growled, and she looked startled. "This will never change anything. Just like Teddy's paternity wouldn't have changed anything, this will not change anything. You're still the same beautiful, kind, smart witch. It's how you were raised. Even if your parents- Ted and Andromeda, that is- had raised you, I doubt you would be much different."

"But what if it _is_ true?" Tonks asked. "That means my Uncle had no qualms about raping me, and my own father had no issue with the fact my Aunt wanted to carve my child from my body."

"Well, no one ever said they were good people." Remus said. "You, however, are a good person. This doesn't change anything."

"It just- it makes everything feel worse." Tonks said.

There was a knock on the door and a moment later, Sirius, Kingsley and Alastor entered. "We're going to settle this, we figured it was time." Kingsley said, holding up two vials of milk-like liquid. "However, due to Andromeda's relation to half of the Wizarding World, we couldn't trust the use of Rabastan's hair. It could show relation either way. So, I went to Ted's parents."

"You went out? It can't be safe-" Tonks began.

"It took about half an hour, they did want to know what you've been doing." Kingsley said. "I explained everything to them, and they agreed to cooperate."

"Probably eager to find out I'm not their granddaughter." Tonks said.

"Actually, no." Kingsley said. "They said they hope you are."

"Why? So they have someone to blame?" Tonks asked.

Kingsley shrugged. "I don't know why, but at least they agreed to cooperate so we can find out."

Tonks reached up, pulling out two strands of hair as Kingsley uncorked the vials. She dropped the hairs in, and Kingsley corked them again. "Why two?" Tonks asked.

"One hair from each." Kingsley said.

"We need to think of this from Bellatrix's side." Sirius said. "I'm sorry I brought everything up the way I did, Dora. However, it would be good to know all of this if she tries to claim you've made plans with them. If she claims that around the wrong people, you could be in big trouble."

"We also think you should read the letter." Alastor said.

"Did you two know about it?" Tonks asked, and Kingsley nodded.

"We got a letter too. We don't know how they managed to send us letters, but they said they wanted you to find the letter and read it, when you were older. They told us where it was, but we didn't go to get it ourselves. We wanted you to." Kingsley explained.

"I don't really want to read it, though." Tonks said. "How long do those take?"

"It turned immediately when we did it for Teddy." Kingsley said.

"Perhaps it takes a few minutes when it's not such a direct relation?" Sirius asked.

"I mean, it should be a direction relation-" Tonks began.

"With a generational gap." Remus said. "It's not like Teddy and myself, it'd be easier if we were able to use Ted's hair."

"What'll it do?" Tonks asked. "I didn't really get to witness when you tested for Teddy-"

"It'll turn gold if you are, black if you're not." Remus explained.

"And if it does nothing?" Tonks asked.

"I doubt it'll do nothing." Alastor said. "However, I still haven't been told what exactly happened when Bellatrix visited."

Kingsley and Sirius looked towards Tonks and Remus, while Tonks looked to Remus. "I might be the only one who knows, or remembers, everything." Remus said. "Dora and I were alone, and Bellatrix and Rabastan showed up. I'm still not sure how they found us, but they did. I tried to tell Dora to flee before they got inside, but she ran to my side instead."

"Without thinking it through." Tonks said.

"Naturally." Kingsley said, and she rolled her eyes.

"Obviously, Bellatrix could see that Dora was expecting." Remus continued. "They had me restrained, and they worked together to- well, they cut Teddy out of Dora's body with a knife coated in poison. Dora spent five days unconscious."

Alastor sighed. "I'm the reason they found you." He said. "I was hoping no one would be here, honestly. And I obviously had no idea about Dora's condition. I can't believe I told them, I've told Dora how sorry I am, but-"

"Alastor, we're alive. It's alright." Tonks said patiently. "You said it yourself, you didn't even think we'd be here."

The conversation ceased as the fluid in the vials seemed to swirl, darkening slightly. It continued darkening, shifting and swirling, until it became a dark gold. Remus could feel Tonks relax next to him.

"There you go." Sirius said. "Bella's still a liar, which we knew."

Tonks sighed, standing and heading for the side of the bed. "I hate you, Sirius, I hope you know that. Now get out, I want to go to sleep."

The others left, and Remus wondered why she didn't _sound_ very relieved. He turned to her, ready to ask, when he noticed her simply staring at the bed. "Dora? Are you alright?" Remus asked.

Her eyes snapped to him. "Yeah, I'm just- I'm fine." She said slowly, and he noticed she seemed to be swaying. He frowned, standing and taking a step towards her, rushing forward just as she collapsed. He caught her just before she hit the ground, and noticed a thin trail of blood trickling from her mouth.

"Sirius! Kingsley!" Remus hollered, and the door opened a second later. "Contact Hestia, get Leo here!" Remus demanded, shifting so he could lift Tonks onto the bed. He didn't know who had responded to him, but they were gone before he even finished talking, their footsteps receding down the hall quickly, just as Teddy began to wail.

* * *

"When I was here the other day, I was glad to see how she was healing." Leo said. "Unfortunately, there were still three days of antidote left, and I foolishly believed that would be it. There's still signs of poison in her system, so I will go to get more antidote. We'll try another two weeks, twice a day. I know she'll hate this, but I think we need to limit her activity again. She is still weakened, considerably, by the poison and blood loss-"

"But we gave her blood replenishing potions." Remus said.

"Yes, but her body still needs time to recover. She's also still technically recovering from birth, a woman's body doesn't just bounce back to what it was." Leo explained. "She will be alright, she just needs treatment for a little while longer. I am pleased to hear that her postpartum bleeding has ended, sometimes that lasts for six weeks for some women. I'm pretty confident that I can still limit my visits to every few days now, but _if_ something happens, you can always contact Hestia to get me. I'll be back in the morning after my shift. I'll also bring back the pain potion mixed with the fever reducer, she'll need the fever reducer and if she's not taking the lower dose pain potion as frequently, the four hour gap may be alright for now."

"Thank you, Leo." Remus said. "Will she be alright for the night?"

"I believe so, we'll give her a Sleeping Draught, she'll be forced to rest all night." Leo said. "As for what happened when Alastor returned, I don't think there's anything to worry about, it doesn't appear to have done damage. However, I don't think it helped."

"Thank you, Leo." Remus said. "I don't know if I can ever repay you for what you've done."

Leo shrugged. "It's nothing, it's what Healers are for."

"You risked your own life to continuously lie to St Mungo's and come here, and you saved her life." Remus said. "Thats not nothing."

"Remus, even if Hestia wasn't my sister- if you had been a stranger who came into St Mungo's for help, I would have helped you. It's what Healers do."

"Still. Thank you." Remus said, holding out his hand to shake Leo's hand. "If you ever need anything- I don't know if we have much to offer- but if there's ever _anything_ you need, please ask us."

"I appreciate that, Remus." Leo said. "Do you have a sleeping potion of any kind?"

"I believe we have Dreamless Sleep, I've noticed it's a potion we always have around here." Remus said, and Leo nodded.

"I'll be back in the morning, then." Leo said. Remus walked downstairs with him, heading into the kitchen to grab the potion as Leo left. As he was going back upstairs, he could hear Kingsley and Alastor arguing in their room, and he heard Alastor mentioning- again- how it was his fault. Remus felt bad to know Alastor blamed himself so much, and Tonks' collapse probably didn't help.

Remus returned to the room, sitting gently on the edge of the bed, uncorking the vial. He slowly tipped the potion into Tonks' mouth, leaving the empty vial on the nightstand. He stood, lifting her just enough to pull the blanket down and tuck her in.

He checked on Teddy, who had been awake for a few minutes after Leo arrived, but was asleep now. Remus figured he'd be hungry in the next few hours, so he went to bed himself, hoping to get a few hours of sleep.


	30. Chapter 30

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

 _ **Also, good news, guys!**_

 _ **I am starting a sequel for this! So, it will follow whoever survives! Yay!**_

 _ **I promised a sequel last time and didn't deliver. I also didn't deliver an ending. I will deliver BOTH!**_

* * *

Remus was surprised the next morning when she didn't argue about having to rest more. She seemed tired, and he wondered if the last few days had taken more of a toll on her than originally thought.

She spent most of the following weeks curled up on the couch against Remus, Teddy in her arms- as usual- alternating between sleeping and sitting there half asleep. Remus felt terrible, and felt even worse when she had to take the antidote and wound up with the extremely high fever again. Teddy apparently noticed it as well, and became fretful, calming down when he was with someone who wasn't so warm.

Remus was always tempted to make her go upstairs to sleep it off, but at least she was resting next to him. He didn't really want to make her get up and go upstairs anyway, he liked having her near. Leo had decided to extend the antidote again after she collapsed a few more times, and decided to keep her on it until the third of May, exactly two months after the attack.

On the final day of April, Sirius, Harry, Ron and Hermione were discussing what they knew, while Kingsley and Alastor had gone to visit other Order members and do another Potterwatch broadcast.

"So, You-Know-Who has the Elder Wand." Harry said. "We didn't find it in time."

"We didn't know where to look." Sirius said.

"It was with Dumbledore." Harry said, tapping his fist on the arm of the chair he was sitting in. "The whole time... he had it."

"If Albus' wand really was the Elder Wand, what's next?" Sirius asked. "An unbeatable wand... Merlin, it won't be easy to defeat You-Know-Who now."

"I know." Harry said, sounding somewhat irritated.

"Harry, you can't be upset." Hermione said gently. "You couldn't have broken into Dumbledore's grave-"

"Maybe we were supposed to figure out the symbol in time to get the wand." Harry said. "We just have to keep going, keep destroying the Horcruxes."

"How are we supposed to do that after you promised the sword to Griphook?" Ron asked.

"You _what_?" Sirius demanded. "Harry, you can't make deals with goblins."

"We need to get into Gringotts." Harry said. "And Griphook can help us, so I promised him the sword earlier today. He can have it when we're done with the Horcruxes, I'll keep my word."

"Harry, that could be _years_." Hermione said.

"Either way, I'll keep my word." Harry said. "We just need to figure out how to get into Gringotts."

"We have Polyjuice Potion, not much, but enough for a one person." Hermione said.

"We could brew some more, if you'd be willing to wait a month." Remus said, but Harry shook his head.

"I want to get there as soon as possible. We'll find a way to make it work." He said.

"It's a shame we didn't think of this sooner, then." Sirius said. "With only one person disguised..."

"Like I said, we have no plan to get into Gringotts." Harry said. "I don't know how to get in, what kind of protection-"

"Whose vault do we need?" Sirius asked.

"Bellatrix's?"

Sirius let out a low whistle. "Harry, no offense, but you must be barking mad to want into _her_ vault." He said. "The Lestrange Vault will be heavily protected."

"I know." Harry said frowning. "But I think there's a Horcrux, we need to get in there."

"We have a hair from Bellatrix." Hermione said slowly. "I found it on the clothes I was wearing that night."

"You were also asleep next to Dora, are you sure it's not hers?" Remus asked.

"Is there a way to find out?" Hermione asked.

"I don't think so. The potion I know about only tests relation, it wouldn't tell us." Remus said. "But if you take Polyjuice Potion with that hair in it, you could become her and you've wasted what Polyjuice we had."

"But if she turns into Tonks can't we transfigure her to look like Bellatrix?" Ron asked. "I mean, no offense, but they do look similar-"

Sirius seemed to be thinking, and then nodded. "I don't see why we couldn't." He said. "It may last longer if we do that, actually. And if we have Bellatrix with us..."

"We also have her wand." Harry said.

"We do have a problem, though." Remus said.

"What's that?" Sirius asked.

"None of us have Death Eater robes. Bellatrix won't be very convincing without them." Remus said.

"We'll find something." Sirius said. "Do we know what we're looking for, though?"

"No." Harry admitted. "It could be Hufflepuff's cup, or Ravenclaw's item, which I don't know what that is."

"The diadem." Tonks muttered, and Remus hadn't realised she had woken up.

"The what?" Harry asked.

Tonks lifted her head away from Remus' shoulder. "Ravenclaw had a diadem, it's sort of a crown. Thought to-"

"Enhance wisdom." Hermione said. "Of course! But isn't it-"

"Lost, yeah." Tonks said. "Been lost for... well, no one knows exactly how long."

"Great." Harry muttered.

"That might mean You-Know-Who couldn't find it either." Sirius said. "So, maybe we look for the cup, then. Focus on that for now."

"Poor Hufflepuffs, what have we ever done to deserve the destruction of our cup?" Tonks asked and Remus laughed slightly.

"It's more what You-Know-Who did to the cup, not the fact it's Hufflepuff's cup. If it was Excalibur, I'm sure we'd still destroy it." Sirius said.

"And you think it'll be in her vault?" Tonks asked. "Do you know where her vault is?"

"It's our best bet, a good lead." Sirius said. "Her vault will be near mine. Pureblood families like ours, they'll be well protected, low down. I could go in, claiming to need access to my vault, but-"

"You could be caught, we should continue with the Polyjuice plan." Harry said.

"So, what happens if you can't transfigure Hermione enough to look like Bellatrix?" Tonks asked.

"We think of something new." Sirius said.

"And waste Polyjuice?" Tonks asked.

"I don't really see it being much an issue. Unmorphed, you look strikingly similar to your mother- I can only imagine she would have looked like you do when she was twenty four-"

"Twenty five."

"Whatever." Sirius said. "And now, with the attack and the poison, you look a little more... well, terrible."

"Let's disembowel you with a poison knife, see how you look."

"Anyway, we don't really have a choice, we have to do this." Harry said. "I want to do it tomorrow. In the morning."

"Yeah, but you don't know how to get into Gringotts." Tonks said.

"How do you know that? You were asleep." Remus said.

"I was not sleeping." Tonks said with a scoff. "I have a headache, I was resting my eyes. Anyway, you said you have no plan. Yet, you want to do this tomorrow?"

"Well... yeah." Harry said.

"I'm going to agree with Sirius, you're absolutely barking mad."


	31. Chapter 31

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

 _ **Also, good news, guys!**_

 _ **I am starting a sequel for this! So, it will follow whoever survives! Yay!**_

 _ **I promised a sequel last time and didn't deliver. I also didn't deliver an ending. I will deliver BOTH!**_

* * *

"Well, it's not _terrible_." Tonks said, her grey eyes studying Hermione's- now her own- face. "I must admit, Sirius was right. I really don't look my best."

"Will that help, though?" Hermione asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I mean, not to be rude, but you- well, you definitely look like you've been ill."

"Ill would be an understatement, Hermione, but yes." Tonks said. "The hair's a little too short, but we can manage."

Tonks stood, heading for the closet. "Now, your shoes won't matter much, the robes will cover them. However, you'll need a pair of mine. We have different shoe sizes." She said, grabbing a pair of her work boots. "Easiest to run in, trust me."

"Run... in?" Hermione asked. She really didn't want to think about the fact they may have to flee.

"Just in case." Tonks assured her, looking through her robes. She pulled out a black set of robes. "These _might_ work. I haven't worn them since I was nineteen, that was for Kingsley's brother's funeral." She walked over to the bed, dropping the robes and shoes. "Now... we need to work on the transfiguration. I feel weird asking this, but also I don't think it should be weird at all, because it is technically _my_ body... can you take your clothes off? Leave your underwear and stuff on, but it might be easier to transfigure that way..."

Hermione was quiet for a moment, and then nodded. She stood, pulling her shirt off. Tonks walked to her dresser, digging through a drawer and grabbing a bra. "You'll need this. Unfortunately." Tonks said, and Hermione took it.

"What if the black robes don't fit?" Hermione asked, turning away from Tonks and unclasping the bra she was wearing. Hermione found it funny, because while that was something Hermione generally did around others- this was Tonks' body she was hiding from Tonks. "Oh my God..." Hermione whispered, as she put on the new bra, her eyes noticing the jagged scar across Tonks' abdomen. She also noticed there were a couple of faded scars, possibly from a different attack?

"What? Are you alright?" Tonks asked.

Hermione turned around, brushing a finger over the scar across her abdomen. "And this is... _healed_?"

"I'm debating that." Tonks said. "It still hurts sometimes. Plus, the breast engorgement isn't fun. We can make it work, though. No one will see the scars, we'll transfigure your chest- Bellatrix is very slim, I currently don't have the same body as she does and never did, honestly. We'll make you look as close as we can."

Tonks worked quickly, transfiguring everything she could from the neck down, before handing Hermione the black robes. They were a little too tight, even with Tonks' work, but they'd do. Once Hermione turned back, they'd fit her much better. Tonks transfigured Hermione's hair longer, until it reached her waist, and then ran her fingers through the curls, messing them up, apologising when her wedding ring snagged a strand of hair and Hermione yelped quietly.

"So, Hermione..." Tonks began slowly, twisting and tugging gently at the curls to mess them up.

"Yes?"

"I've been trying to figure it out for a while, but... is it Ron or Harry?"

"I'm sorry?" Hermione asked, startled.

"You're interested in one of them, which is it?"

"I- well, it's not important. Not now." Hermione said, but then sighed. "It's neither of them."

"Who is it? Does he know?" Tonks asked.

"I doubt it."

"You should tell him."

"It's probably just some silly teenage thing, and like I said-"

"You know what's a silly teenage thing? Dropping someone because they lost your team a Quidditch match, not _this_." Tonks said.

"Are you saying you broke it off with someone who lost a match, or...?" Hermione asked slowly. She really didn't understand how people could take Quidditch so seriously.

"No, I lost Hufflepuff a match." Tonks said. "I was a Beater, I missed a bludger and it hit our Seeker, and we lost. After the game, a boy in seventh year came up to me and said he no longer fancied me. I still have no idea who he was."

"How old were you?"

"Sixth year." Tonks said. "Said he had fancied me for about a year, but losing a game like that..."

"Oh, I'm sorry, that's an awful thing for someone to do."

"It's fine, I doubt I was going to marry the bloke." Tonks said. "However, I've noticed you lot seem a lot more mature than kids were when I was in school. Must be the war. So, I doubt your feelings are a simple 'silly teenage thing'. Maybe you should talk to whoever he is."

Hermione was quiet for a minute, while Tonks continued her assault on her hair. "Is this going to work?" Hermione asked.

"I don't see why not, Bellatrix clearly never learned how to care for her curly hair. Or perhaps, she doesn't have the time, with all the murdering she's doing-"

"I meant the Gringotts plan." Hermione said as Tonks finally picked her wand up again and began to focus on Hermione's face.

"Oh. Well... I can see flaws, but no plan is ever flawless." Tonks said. "There's something that just doesn't seem right, and I can't figure it out."

"Doesn't seem right...?" Hermione asked. "With the plan?"

"No, with your- well, my face." Tonks said. "Could be the age thing, could be the nose. I have no idea. I'm going to get Sirius, he'll be better at helping me with this part."

Hermione looked at herself in the mirror as Tonks left. She honestly had to admit, she didn't see any resemblance to Bellatrix. She wondered if that was because she knew it had been Tonks' hair, and Tonks had much kinder features than Bellatrix. Even with the poisoning, Tonks still didn't look nearly as bad as Bellatrix did at times- even though Bellatrix had a certain aristocratic beauty, she had clearly lost some of that while imprisoned in Azkaban. In Tonks' case, Hermione believed the Blacks' aristocratic looks may have been softened by the introduction of Muggleborn genes.

As she waited, she found herself wondering about the outcome of the war. What would happen to everyone if Harry died? What if they couldn't find all of the Horcruxes?

And what if they did find all of the Horcruxes, but still lost Harry? Could any of them kill Voldemort in that case? Would they be _able_ to?

"It's probably just because she looks too young." Sirius' voice said, as Hermione heard two people enter the room. Hermione turned, and Sirius made a 'huh' noise. "No, I see what you mean now."

"Aren't you supposed to be disguised?" Hermione asked.

"I'm not going with you." Sirius said. "We figured that one person being seen with Bellatrix is safe enough. Two, however, may draw attention. Especially if Bellatrix is going to Gringotts."

"However, we don't exactly have a Bellatrix here, do we?" Tonks asked.

"Not yet." Sirius said, pulling out his wand. "I'd say we have an Andromeda instead. The hair's too light, face too round, eyes too _nice_ \- Hermione, you need to look mean. And you look too young."

Sirius first transfigured Hermione to look older, pausing when he was sure she looked old enough. "Should we bring Remus up here, let him see what you'll like in twenty years or so?" He asked Tonks. Hermione glanced in the mirror, and she had to admit- while she did look a little more like Bellatrix, she really hadn't changed much at all. She found it interesting that witches and wizards seemed to age a lot slower than Muggles.

"No, he'll have a heart attack if he thinks I won't ever look old enough to his wife. Besides, aging through transfiguration and aging naturally are different. For all we know, I could look like Ron's Great Aunt Muriel by the time I'm fifty." Tonks said. "However, you're right about the nice thing. Hermione, can't you try to look mean?"

"I- I guess I could try." Hermione said, and she tried to look a little tougher, but judging by their facial expressions, she wasn't doing a very good job. "I don't know what you need me to do."

"Well, maybe it's not just you." Sirius said, tracing his wand along Hermione's cheeks. "Maybe it's the Muggle genes, most of them are far nicer than Bellatrix."

"As Kingsley once told me, some people have more kindness in their little fingers than Death Eaters have in their whole bodies." Tonks said. "Perhaps that's why we can't make her look mean? Because she isn't?"

"I can be mean!" Hermione objected.

"No, I agree. Hermione can be mean." Sirius said. "I'm thinking it's because you look too innocent, Dora."

"Why do you think I'm such a good Auror?" Tonks asked. "Dark Wizards never expect the innocent looking ones."

"Unfortunately, that tactic doesn't work here." Sirius said. "Bellatrix _never_ looks innocent." Sirius turned his attention to Hermione's hair again.

"What if the potion wears off?" Hermione asked. "While we're trying to make me resemble her?"

"It won't, there was enough for a few hours. And the transfiguration should make it last longer anyway." Sirius said. "Alright, I think this is the closest we can get."

Hermione turned to the mirror again. She had to admit, she now looked a little more like Bellatrix, but still didn't look as menacing. However, she figured transfiguration wouldn't help with that.

She sat on the edge of the bed, pulling on Tonks' boots. "Are Harry and Ron ready?"

Sirius nodded. "Ron is very unrecognizable." He said. "Now, Hermione, you've been practising with the patronus, I trust you to send me a message as soon as you can. Let me know you're all safe."

Hermione nodded. "I will."

* * *

Hours passed with no word from anyone who had gone to Gringotts. Tonks and Remus went to bed, both tired from handling Teddy, only to be woken by Teddy's loud cries as someone banged on their door.

"Remus! They're going to Hogwarts, the Order is needed!" Sirius yelled, as Remus jumped out of bed and rushed to the door. Tonks got out of bed to grab Teddy.

"Sirius, are you insane? You woke Teddy!" Remus snapped, opening the door.

"Mate, you coming to fight or not?" Sirius asked.

"No." Tonks said, and Remus looked at her. "Remus, stay here."

"Dora-"

"Remus, _please_." Tonks said.

Remus sighed, walking over to Dora. He pulled off his wedding ring, placing it in her hand, closing her first around it. "Give that back to me when I return. I promise I'll come back, for both of you." Remus said. "I need to fight, this could be it, Dora. This could be the end."

"Dean, Luna and Kingsley are going with me." Sirius said. "Alastor wanted to, but he hasn't got a wand and is half blind. He'll remain here with Dora. Now, Dora, I promise I will do everything I can to ensure Remus comes back. If things get too rough, I'll make him return to you."

Tonks was quiet for a moment. "Then I suppose you should get dressed, Remus."

Sirius nodded, leaving the room and heading downstairs. Remus got dressed quickly, and Tonks followed him downstairs too. At the bottom of the stairs, he turned to her. "I'm coming back." Remus promised, before pressing a kiss to Teddy's forehead and a kiss to her lips. "For both of you."

With that, he was gone, following the others from the house. It felt far too quiet suddenly, even though it wasn't any quieter than it would have been in the last few evenings around this time.

"You may as well come and have some tea." Alastor said, and she nodded. She walked down the last step, heading over to place Teddy in the bassinet next to the couch, before sitting on the couch next to Alastor. He handed her a mug of tea, which felt warm and comforting in her hands. Alastor placed something on the table, and she realised it was the letter from her parents. "King found this in your jacket a while ago. You really should read it."

"I really don't want to."

"It may help distract you for a while." Alastor said, and she sighed. She set down the tea, picking up the envelope. She tore it open, pulling out three pieces of folded parchment filled with neat cursive.

 _Dear Nymphadora,_

 _It has been one year since we were taken prisoner. I don't know why they decided to keep me alive after killing Ted a few days after we were captured, but I am grateful for this opportunity._

 _All I can say is that I hope you never have to face a world as dark as the one we currently live in. I hope that by the time you're old enough to understand and remember things around you, the war might be over._

 _I've written to Kingsley and Alastor as well, asking that they ensure you get this when they think you're ready. I hope that Narcissa keeps her promise and sends these to the two locations I asked her to, because I need you to know all of this, to understand the situation as it truly happened._

 _I just hope you can forgive me one day._

 _When I was seventeen, shortly before I completed Hogwarts, I agreed to leave Ted and marry a pureblood. I believed it was the right move. I found out I was pregnant two weeks before I was set to marry Rabastan Lestrange. I lied, convincing him the baby was his._

 _Truth is, the baby wasn't. Ted and I had been sneaking around all summer, certain we could maintain an affair even if I married Rabastan. The idea of that was thrilling._

 _Bellatrix found out, but agreed to lie for me as long as I stopped seeing Ted. I couldn't do that, so I left. Narcissa wrote to me, saying I had been disowned and that Rabastan was demanding I return the heir of Lestrange to him. I never told him, and I don't plan to._

 _Nymphadora, you are a halfblood, and I could not be happier with that information. Even if I am killed, even if Bellatrix tries to find you, you will know the truth. I don't know if you will ever find out about this before I reading this, but Alastor and Kingsley know. You deserve to know anyway, even if you never meet Bellatrix._

 _You deserve to know the truth behind our disappearance as well. I know you may never forgive us for this, but the truth is... we went willingly._

 _When Bellatrix showed up, she was only with Rodolphus and three other Death Eaters we didn't recognise. I begged her not to take you after Rodolphus and another Death Eater had already taken Ted. For some reason, she agreed, as long as I went with them. Perhaps she was mad that she had been unable to produce an heir for the Lestrange family, and the idea that you could possibly be the heir angered her immensely. I was grateful when she said she wouldn't kill you, but I didn't realise that meant she'd leave you to die. I didn't know that was what she had done until later._

 _A few days after we were imprisoned, I remember overhearing Bellatrix yelling at Lucius. Apparently, Alastor Moody and Kingsley Shacklebolt had filed for permanent guardianship of their goddaughter- you. I don't know when the verdict will be delivered on who gets you, but I sincerely hope Lucius and Narcissa lose. You will not survive if you are placed with the Malfoys, I am sure of it._

 _I love you, please know that. Your father loved you. We never wanted you to be hurt by my family._

 _Please don't hate us. Please understand, we thought it was the best thing to do. Had I known I would have been fleeing anyway, I would have concealed my pregnancy. They would have never known about you, and there would have been no reason for them to come after us._

 _This was our fault, and we just want you safe. You don't deserve to pay for our mistakes, Nymphadora, and I am so sorry if you ever do._

 _And we thought going without a fight was best. I really hope one day you'll understand just how much we love you, and how much we wanted to protect you._

 _I truly hope you found a family with Alastor and Kingsley. I hope you'll have everything you need, you'll have our Gringotts vault. I know none of what we leave you will ever repair what we've done, but it will help. I hope._

 _I hope you know that we love you, and always will._

 _Love,_

 _Your Mother_


	32. Chapter 32

_**A formal warning: This story will contain abuse, non-con/rape, death, dark themes, it will not contain graphic descriptions of such.**_

 _ *******And I don't own HP, or the excerpts from the book/movie you see below*******_

 _ **Also, good news, guys!**_

 _ **I am starting a sequel for this! So, it will follow whoever survives! Yay!**_

 _ **I promised a sequel last time and didn't deliver. I also didn't deliver an ending. I will deliver BOTH!**_

* * *

"I'm sorry, I'll take him upstairs and put up a Silencing Charm-" Tonks began, but Alastor was standing near her, and shook his head. He gestured for her to hand Teddy over, and she placed Teddy in his arms gently.

"You cried a lot during the first week we had you." Alastor said, sitting in the armchair. "We were terrible at trying to figure out what you needed. Sometimes you needed to be fed or changed or were just crying for the sake of it. And sometimes-" He gestured to Teddy with his free hand, and she saw that Teddy was now falling asleep. "-you just wanted someone different. Why don't you try to get a few hours of sleep?"

"Well, I'm not tired." She said, but a few seconds later, she yawned involuntarily.

"Just like when you were a kid." Alastor said, pointing to the couch. "Lay down, get some sleep. I'm sure you'll wake up if someone comes home."

Tonks wanted to argue, but nodded. She walked over to the couch, sinking onto the cushions. She didn't realise how tired she was, and she was asleep quickly. Later, she'd be relieved she didn't have any nightmares, but it was strange that her dreams were filled with memories, moments that had seemed pointless when they had happened, but later reminded her they were her parents.

 _She was thirteen when she stood at the bathroom sink, brushing her teeth when he approached looking like he was a little uncomfortable, something she had really never seen before._

 _"Nymphadora." Alastor said. "I'd like to talk to you."_

 _She nodded for him to continue._

 _"Well, you're a girl-"_

 _"That's a surprise to me." She commented, after spitting out a mouthful of toothpaste._

 _"You, quiet." Alastor said. "As a young girl, I imagine there are- things- happening to you-"_

 _She nearly choked on the toothpaste. "Oh, Alastor, no! You don't have to do this." She said._

 _"A young girl needs to know-"_

 _"No, I-"_

 _"-about what happens as she gets older-"_

 _"No, please don't-"_

 _"-and someone needs to teach her about them-"_

 _"Alastor. I got my period last summer, and Molly told me everything, you can stop."_

 _Alastor looked relieved and she tried not to laugh as he walked away, clearly feeling fortunate that he didn't have to say it. After a moment, he paused, turning and heading back towards her._ _Somehow, it was weirdly humorous that one of the best Aurors at the Ministry found it difficult to have these kinds of talks._

 _"So, there was something else."_

 _"Oh?" She asked._

 _"If you're ever on a date, and can't find an excuse to leave, just kill the lad. It'll get you out of a bad date every time."_

 _She was fourteen when Kingsley told her they weren't terrible people, and Kingsley had been right. However, their house was too clean. They were too proper._

 _Alastor and Kingsley didn't care. She could leave books or shoes in the living room for three weeks, and they wouldn't say a thing or move them. Margaret Tonks on the other hand..._

 _And then there were the disagreements._

 _"Ted was selfish."_

 _That was the most common one she heard, that he was selfish. He should have turned his back on wizards. How could he fight for what was right, it was simply selfish._

 _And her mother. The things Margaret said about her mother- about how Andromeda had really been to blame. After all, it was her family that caused most of the problems for Ted and Andromeda._

 _After staying with them for a couple of days, she had realised she hadn't ever thought to mourn her parents. Here, Margaret always mentioned her father, always voiced how heartbroken she was about what had happened. There were pictures of her father, one which had an always lit candle in front of it on the mantle._

 _However, she simply hadn't known Ted and Andromeda as her parents. Kingsley and Alastor were her parents, simple as that. And here, she constantly felt bad because while Margaret made herself upset by talking about what happened, she simply felt nothing at all._

 _When she had been young, around four or five, Alastor and Kingsley had- very carefully- explained that most children had a mother and father, but she had neither, only two godfathers who really had no idea what they were doing. And she was fine with it. They were never called "Dad" by her, and she had never thought it weird._

 _They were her family. She was their daughter. And no person in the Wizarding World dared to make remarks about the girl raised by two male Aurors, especially when one was Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody._

 _However, this was another difference in the home of Margaret and Frank. Frank rarely spoke at all, but Margaret loved saying how she was strange because she hadn't had a mother._

 _"A little time with me, you'll be a proper young lady!"_

 _She didn't want to be here, and she was sure Frank and Margaret could tell._

 _One evening, she slipped outside to sit on the back porch for a while. After a few minutes, she heard the back door open._

 _"You don't like it here."_ _Frank Tonks said, sinking onto the step next to her._

 _"I'm trying, but-"_

 _"Maggie is a difficult woman." Frank said. "Things haven't been the same since your parents vanished. For a while, she expected them to come back."_

 _"Where were you? Why haven't I met you before?"_

 _"We didn't know where you were, actually. We knew you had been adopted, but that's all we knew." Frank said. "It took us a few years to find out who had you, and a few more years to decide if we wanted to disrupt your home life."_

 _"But didn't you want to meet me?"_

 _"Of course we did." Frank said. "But, it was a complicated decision. We don't know what happened to Ted, or your mother. I'm not happy with what happened, or with not knowing the full story."_

 _"I'm not sure anyone knows. They just left."_

 _"You think they left?"_

 _She shrugged._

 _"You're right that no one knows." He said. "Doesn't mean you should hate them for it, though."_

 _She sighed, standing and heading inside. Later that night, she packed her bag and slipped out of house- surprising herself with how quiet she was. A few blocks later, she heard a car pull up beside her just after she had crossed the street._

 _The moment she saw the police car, she knew she wasn't getting far. The officer believed her when she had said she was leaving a friend's house, heading home. He asked where her parents lived, and seemed surprised that it was so far, saying he'd give her a ride._

 _When they pulled up the house, Kingsley was outside, heading for his car. He froze when he saw the police car, and the rushed to her when she stepped out._

 _"Dora! What were you thinking? We just got the call- why would you run away?" Kingsley demanded, taking her bag from her. He didn't sound very angry, and she realised he must not be, because he threw his arms around her a moment later._

 _"I'm sorry."_

 _The officer had stepped out the car by now, and was leaning on his open door. "She says she was leaving a friend's house, is that true? Are you her father?" He asked._

 _She looked up at Kingsley, wondering if he'd tell the truth. "Yes, I'm her father. And yes, she was leaving a friend's house. We just got a call, saying they had argued and she had left. I was on my way to pick her up." Kingsley said, and the officer nodded. "Thank you, officer."_

 _"Well, next time you argue with a friend, wait for a ride from your father. You never know what kind of people you may encounter this late at night." The officer said, getting back into his car._

 _"Thank you, Kingsley." She said, as he scooped up her bag again._

 _"Well, I'm grateful you're alright." Kingsley said. "However, you are grounded."_

She jumped awake when the door opened loudly. Alastor cursed as Teddy began to cry.

"Sorry!" Sirius said loudly, as Tonks sat up and Alastor walked to the bassinet to pick Teddy up. Tonks stood, taken slightly by surprise at how rough Sirius looked. She realised there was light behind their curtains, and wondered how long she had slept. Had Teddy not been hungry all night? Was the fighting over?

"Voldemort's dead." Sirius said, and both Alastor and Tonks simply stared at him. "I'm just going to say it again because that's not the reaction I expected. Voldemort is dead."

"What do you mean by dead?" Tonks asked.

"I mean, he's _dead_." Sirius said. "It's been over for an hour or two, we were trying to organise some things. Kingsley's been elected temporary Minister, until a proper election-"

"Where's Remus?" Tonks asked. "Why isn't he with you?"

"He's helping with some of the injuries." Sirius said. "Told me he'd be here as quickly as possible."

"How bad was it?" Alastor asked. "What happened?"

"Well, Voldemort and his Death Eaters knew Harry was going there, so we all tried to keep them from getting into the school. Obviously, we could only delay them. Anyway, there was a bunch of fighting, a lot of damage to the school, and here we are. Harry kicked Voldemort's arse."

"How many died?" Tonks asked.

"Fifty of ours, I'm not sure how many of theirs." Sirius said. "However, and you may find this interesting, Remus killed dear Bella."

* * *

The green curse struck Colin, sending the teenager tumbling down the stairs limply. Remus reacted before thinking, chasing after Bellatrix, Sirius yelling after him and following.

Remus knew why Sirius was refusing to leave Remus' side, because Sirius had promised Remus would return home alive- and Sirius refused to let the unthinkable happen.

"No, Ron! No!" Remus heard Harry's voice yell, but he didn't think to pause to see what had happened. One quick glance told him Sirius had taken off to help the kids.

Bellatrix knew he was pursuing her, and led him down a corridor that was littered with debris from the battle that had moved away from it.

"Well, this is lovely." Bellatrix said as she turned to face him. "If I kill you, it's easier to get to my baby."

"You mean _my_ baby." Remus growled. "And you're not getting anywhere near him." Bellatrix simply grinned, which annoyed Remus further. He raised his wand, shoot a Stunning Curse at her, which she rebounded with a quick flick of her wand.

"Oh, how interesting. You choose a _Stunning Curse_ to keep me from my baby?" Bellatrix asked. "Pathetic."

"I notice you haven't bothered to fight back, so wouldn't that make you pathetic?" Remus asked, and he sidestepped a spell she threw at him, sending a Killing Curse at her. This was it. He wasn't letting her leave.

He noticed she seemed distracted, as if she was waiting for a signal or something similar, and he figured she was waiting for Voldemort to announce Harry's death. One of his Disarming Spells caught her off guard, knocking her wand from her hand. She seemed surprised as he advanced on her.

"You dirty mutt!" Bellatrix snapped, reaching into her robes. Remus ran the last couple steps, knocking her down before she could free whatever was in her robes.

Despite her attempts to get away from him, Bellatrix clearly knew she had lost, Remus could tell. She had no chance at pushing him off, because like her sisters and niece, she was petite. Her years in Azkaban had slimmed her further, whereas his years as a werewolf had strengthened him- even though it was hard to tell at first glance.

He was angrier than he really realised, the wolf side of him taking control before he had a chance to regain control. He raised his wand, but somehow a curse didn't feel like enough. As she struggled, he got angrier. Before thinking it through, he gripped his wand as if it were a dagger, bringing it down, piercing her neck.

Bellatrix's eyes widened, and she continued to try to fight him off, blood oozing from the wound. Somehow, that _still_ wasn't enough and Remus withdrew his blood soaked wand, wrapping his hands around her throat, the blood spilling through his fingers as he tightened his grip. She clawed at his hands, struggling for breath.

It wasn't long before she fell still, her terrified eyes becoming unfocused. Remus almost felt proud, as if he had done well to protect his family. As he withdrew his hands and stood, he heard footsteps and turned to Sirius, who looked stunned.

"Merlin..." Sirius muttered. "Is she...? Remus, did you kill her?"

"Yes." Remus said, and he was sure he'd feel ashamed later about how proud he felt. "She was a threat, I'm here to protect Dora and Teddy."

Sirius clearly don't know what to say. "Ron's been killed." Sirius finally said. "Greyback. Come on, we have students to protect."

Remus nodded. He had students to protect, he had Dora and Teddy to go home to.

This was it. This was the end, he was sure.

* * *

 _Please don't hate me, but this is the final chapter._

 _The sequel will pick up after the battle._


End file.
